I am struggling with my 13 year old son and his attitude.

Ganesa - posted on 01/07/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son, a normally sweet and funny guy is morphing into a lippy, rebellious teen. Help! His relationship with his step-dad is becoming very strained and I'm feeling wiped out by trying to be a clear and consistent disciplinarian while not being an unfair dictator. I'm also trying to help my hubby and son stay connected...and not just mumble, yell or sneer while communicating. But I'm starting to feel like the rope in a tug of war. Any suggestions?


Jodi - posted on 01/07/2011




It is totally normal. I am struggling with the same thing at times. I actually ended up sitting my son down yesterday and having a very serious talk with him about responsibility, maturity and respect. We disccused his emotions. I recognised that sometime he doesn't understand how he is feeling - his hormones are all over the place. Society accepts that girls get hormonal, but boys get hormonal too, especially during these years of puberty when they have such a HIGH injection of testosterone, their emotions struggle to cope with it.

When I talked to my son, he did recognise his unacceptable behaviour, but he also doesn't know why he does it, and is struggling to control it. He also acknowledged to me that it is wrong, and me pulling him up on it with something like a reminder ("excuse me, but that is disrespectful, and isn't acceptable in this house") has helped him pull himself up sometimes once he has a little time out.

When he is in one of these "moods" I would suggest asking him to go to his room and having some time out before dealing with it. Personally I have found this beneficial in then being able to talk more calmly (both of us) about the situation, and you are more likely to get through and communicate at a level that is acceptable.

But I'm still fumbling through the teenage years myself, so don't take all that as gospel :P I'm just letting you know what has worked for me so far with my 13 year old. And we still have our days. I think that is just a given, unfotunately.

Besides, every kid is different, so what works for me may not work for you.

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