i am suspecting my husband sexually abusing my daughter i am not sure

Asha - posted on 10/29/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I had a talk with him but. He refuses don't know what should be the decision

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Dove - posted on 10/30/2015

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You need to get your daughter away from him and have a full, legal investigation done. If he will not leave the house, take your daughter and go somewhere else. Contact CPS and tell them what she told you and ask them to investigate him.

If you do NOT get her away from him and it is found to be truth... you will likely be charged as well.

Alejandra - posted on 11/02/2015

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your job is to protect your child, if you suspect and your child is telling you so, kids don't know how to lie about those sort of things. you need to take her to get checked you need to speak to someone, don't stay quiet, it's a serious accusation and needs to be dealt with not swept under the rug.

Sarah - posted on 10/31/2015

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If it is true and you wait, and allow her to be victimized will you be able to live with yourself? Did you expect him to admit it? How old is this child? You mention a 5 yo but also allude to a younger girl? Why would they make this up? Call CPS today and ask your spouse to move out until the investigation is complete. If he has nothing to hide and nothing to fear, then he will gladly comply.

Dove - posted on 10/31/2015

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A full investigation needs to be done. There isn't some short test that will prove anything. You never, ever wait to get help when there is an allegation of this type... ever. And honestly, even if the allegation is 100% false... your daughter still needs professional help. Either the allegation is true and she needs help to work through that... or she's not being honest and somewhere along the line she learned enough to make up something like this. How you proceed at this point is the same regardless... you get her away from him, you report it to be investigated, and you get your daughter into therapy. Let the professionals sort it out from there.

Jodi - posted on 10/31/2015

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No, you call for the help first. They will provide you with the supports you need, including medical and psychological. But you ALWAYS believe the child until proven otherwise. Do NOT wait for any sort of "proof".

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Asha - posted on 10/31/2015

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Do we have any sort of test to prove him guilty first and then call for the help

Sarah - posted on 10/31/2015

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If you even suspect this is true, and what would motivate a young child to make up such a thing? Sure kids lie, but not about molestation. If she has been able to tell you what has happened, you need to call CPS, and get your child away from this man. She may be acting out because you parent' protecting her. IMO, in a case when a child makes a disclosure, you believe the child until proven to be wrong.

Asha - posted on 10/30/2015

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I know I have to take a decision in fact I am married to this person since last 15years and I got this daughter with ivf treatment a long awaited child . I am Indian from the background that is very rigid .I also work as a teacher I somehow feel that how can my husband do such a thing to the child who was awaited for so long ? I have already taken few steps and will be taking strong decision in few days we as already sleep separately but I am extremely disturbed and that frustration is out in form of anger on my daughter also she is showing some behaviour that is different like throwing things towards fan and showing unnecessary tantrums

Raye - posted on 10/30/2015

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I agree you need to get yourself and your children away from this man. Call Child Protection Service or whatever it's called in your area to investigate your suspicions.

Julie - posted on 10/30/2015

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Children do lie. But this is not something they generally lie about. You need to get out of this house immediately and remove both yourself and your daughter (and any other children you have) and go some place safe, anywhere else other than there. You also need to alert the authorities. Immediately. You have the resources at your hands (links provided earlier). So do it.

Asha - posted on 10/30/2015

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I asked my daughter directly about it and she confirmed my doubt but when I had a talk with my husband he refused and says that my daughter is too small to understand and reply u r putting these into her mind is what my husband says he also accused my five year daughter that she is lying and keeps on scolding her for the same reason I am confused whether my daughter is right or she is just not telling the truth although I think that small kids never lie

Jodi - posted on 10/29/2015

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What makes you think he might be sexually abusing your daughter? Has she said something to you?

Julie - posted on 10/29/2015

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Not sure what it is that leads you to suspect this. Have you tried asking your daughter directly? Or is your daughter of an age where she understands what might be going on and can tell you about it? In either case, this is a major thing and you must be more than a little certain before proceeding. But if you have evidence of this and you have a solid belief in what might be going on, it is your duty to remove both your daughter and yourself from that environment. Get to a safe place. With family, with friends, in another town, somewhere, anywhere other than there. Then immediately report the matter to the authorities. If you are sure, or if your suspicions are valid, do this immediately.

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