I am the FREE babysitter of the HOOD!??

Gena - posted on 03/09/2014 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I need advice,i am starting to be real pissed off.Every time the weather is nice and i go outside with my son i end up looking after sometimes 5+ kids..without the parents asking if its ok!Where we live we have a little garden,a place to sit and there is a small field.Our neighbors irritate me the most,its like they are waiting for me to go outside so they can send their daughter to play with my son(i dont mind that) but they NEVER ask if its ok with me.The mother then goes inside and leaves it all up to me.The girl is turning 4 soon.Last time i was sitting outside and we had visitors,i was in a conversation with my guests,thats when the girl stood outside and asked "can i come to you",i told her to please wait a minute,she asked again and again,by the third time i just showed with my hand wait!Thats when she yelled to her father that was standing outside on there sitplace that i was ignoring her,so i listened to hear what her father said...he told her to ask louder!Her father saw that we had visitors and i find it rude!!
I was brought up to not interfere a grown up when they are talking.
Also other kids from the neighborhood come to our place outside and the parents just leave them with me.I end up looking after all of them because there is a street,a big rock that they climb up etc and they come telling me they are thirsty-i give them water,some kids have wanted to use our bathroom but i send them home because its not far away and i barely know their parents.

I just find it rude that the parents of these kids dont even bother to ask me if its ok. Am i wrong for thinking this way? I have no shield hung up that says FREE BABYSITTING WITH DRINKS AND SNACKS FOR THE WHOLE DAY! And sometimes i would just LOVE to relax and be alone with my son and play games with him. I guess what gets me the most is that the parents of these kids dont even give a damn to ASK me.

Sry that it got long.. Any advice?Or any other moms that are "free babysitters"? How should i deal with it?

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Danicia - posted on 03/10/2014

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I say write a note. it's professional, addresses the problem clearly, and you can't get cut off and have someone jump down your throat b/c they don't like what you have to say. I would also write in there that just b/c you are out there with your son, it doesn't give all the other kids the privilege to use the slide you bought. that's not the way it works. if they want their kids to have play equipment, they can buy it themselves. the other kids are not your responsibility and legally I doubt you could get in trouble if anyone was to get hurt b/c you have no contracts or acknowledgements from both you and the parents saying you were responsible for said kid. I would stop giving the kids water b/c they can go home for drinks/foods, just like they do for bathroom. it's cool if they want to play with your son but the parents need to actually be parents and do their job instead of assuming you will do it for them.

Ev - posted on 03/09/2014

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THen you need to draft a note to all parents stating that if their kids come to play, you are not responible for their children and you are not a babysitting service. Tell them that unless you agree to watch the kids or have them around to play, that you will not be held accountable for anything that happens to their kids like getting hurt falling off that rock. You were not asked so therefore you are not responsible. Those parents are not doing their jobs watching their own kids. Quit being a rug for them to walk all over.

Ev - posted on 03/09/2014

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It is rude and I would personally go to all the houses and explain to the parents that this has to stop and that unless they ask first, their kids are not to come over at all that you need time with your family and guests. Also tell them that if you agree to the kids coming over they can start help to provide snacks and drinks for the kids.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/09/2014

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I would be upset also. I would personally go speak to the parents and let them know while you are more than happy to have them over, they need to ask first. That with all the kids in the neighborhood coming to your house, it would be nice if the parents would come also.

Honestly, I want my house to be that house. Not in the free babysitter sense, but in the way that neighborhood kids feel free to come by and ask if my kids can play. I would prefer my house be the place to go, the "cool" house.

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Gena - posted on 05/10/2014

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Just a little update..The weather was nice for a short time and automaticly the kids came over.Now when the kids tell me they are thirsty,hungry or need the toilett i just tell them to ask their mom for food/drinks and that they can go home to use the bathroom.They already asked me why and i just said that no body is using our bathroom anymore and they can go home,its not like they have to walk 10min..only about 1 minute. Some of the girls also came into our sitting place where all my sons toys are and i told them they may not without asking.First ask,and if i say no it means no. I also spoke to the mom that lives next door and i told her i dont mind watching but she should first ask me,now she asks me..she still cant open her mouth to say thank you afterwards but all in all its been abit easier. I guess i had to learn to say no to other kids because i was always too nice.

K - posted on 03/14/2014

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ahhh, so understandable. I mean in that type of situation the most id say you can do, is just to confront the parents as respectfully as possible. If its YOUR front lawn, they need to respect YOUR property. If they cant...then id say legal options are the only next bet, unless you want to move. Super tough, I know. No one ever wants problems with people they have to live next to! I hope for the best outcome for you!

Gena - posted on 03/14/2014

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Well theres where the problem comes, it is basicly our front yard and on the other side of the house are parking places and the street.The park/playground is 20minutes away and i would prefer to stay outside at home in the summer because we can put up a little swimming pool and eat icecream and relax by the garden (if it wasnt for the "baby sitting").I mean its realy just a beatiful place and nice to be able to have everything inside,drinks,snacks the bathroom etc. I just feel like why should we go away when its actualy the problem of the parents kids..its unfair on us...Just because those parents dont take care of their kids.
Jeez.. K E how rude was that kid..just shows you how the parents bring the kids up.

K - posted on 03/12/2014

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So honestly... I kind of deal with the same thing in my area. Its as if NONE of these other parents care where their children of young ages are, or what they are doing. More than half of the parents have never even introduced themselves to me.. I fixed my problem by no longer allowing my son to hang out where we live. Ill take the extra 10 minute trip to the park up the street instead. The way I see it? If the kids are allowed to do anything they please, without supervision at the ages of 4-6... how much guidance will they have as they grow? Its sad, but unfortunately not my problem. Id rather remove my son from the environment vs giving into it. I was going to confront a parent before after their 3 year old (im guessing the age, he was young) looked at me and said "Hello old b*tch".... mind you, im only 25. Just unacceptable. Sometimes its not worth confronting the other parents. Kids learn what they know from somewhere, right?

Summer - posted on 03/11/2014

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Wow! Poor you!!! Obviously the parents are irresponsible but whatever, maybe you just need to tell the kids to go play at their house. I would just keep redirecting them to their own homes or parents. The note thing is funny but what would be even better is to pen a note to the kids shirt!! Lol, jk!!! I feel for ya! Or start playing in the backyard or go to a park!

Gena - posted on 03/10/2014

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just for example,last summer there were two 2yrs old,a3yrs old a 4 a 5year old..the neighbors daughter 3years old started to run behind the house to chase their cat onto a street..ofcourse all the other kids including my son found it funny and ran after her..so here i start yelling at her to stop,get off the street and i had to get my son and the other four to go back,a car came and thankfully was slow and braked and waited till i had all the kids off of the street.

I will definatly tell our direct neighbor that i wont be watching anymore unless she asks me and we set a time.I will also let her know that it is very rude to send her child to me when they see i have visitors and would like privacy.Because the rudest of it all is that when they eat lunch outside in summer they do "siesta" for over an hour outside in their hangmat and have the cheek to tell my son he has to be quiet and may not come disturb their child during "siesta" ..hello!? How darn rude is that..it once pissed me so off how she told my son not to come disturb the daughter taking a nap outside that i went inside,put a metal cd in the player and turned the volume so up that they went inside.

The other moms of the kids i will aproach when i see them coming to call for the kids,i will tell them that they are more then welcome to come sit by our place and have a tea and that they can help me watch the kids or otherwise they must first come ask..and no more free snacks and icecream from me.If my son would like to share his snack with another child he may,and otherwise tuff luck for the others,they can go home and get food!I dont mind giving them a glass of water,but if you would know how many times i have bought a special box of little juices for my son and i ended up giving them to all the kids..not to mention all the icecreams! Not with me anymore,just because their parents are to lazy to watch their kids..i see i have been way too kind.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/10/2014

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Well beings that their KIDS are constantly coming over, that is reason enough for face to face contact.

Ev - posted on 03/09/2014

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It might be silly but some people do not like talking to their neighbors. So in that case a note is needed. But she really needs to step up and tell them that this is not her place to be watching their kids unless she is okay with it.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/09/2014

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I think a note is silly personally. These are your neighbors, and even if they are so rude not to come and talk to you, go to talk to them in person.

Gena - posted on 03/09/2014

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The problem is here where we live,this green field of grass(its not that big) doesnt only belong to us.We live in big house that has 6 flats..we live in a flat level to ground so we have a patio(i think its called) and some garden space.So the grass field actualy belongs to all people living in our house.And these kids just come and play with the slide we bought for our son and the parents just leave them here so i have to take care of all of them.So i cant forbid the kids to come play on the field but i just find it soooo rude and respectless that i have to take care of them.I dont want a small kid falling off that big rock..because i would get in trouble..eventhough its not my job to watch the kids. And yes thats a good idea,they shall bring their own snacks and icecream with.I mean honostly,i dont even know their parents well. I am going to have to make a change this summer because the parents are so rude and dont even ask if its ok that i watch them.

Gena - posted on 03/09/2014

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I know its good for my son,he can play with the other kids.And usually i dont mind looking after all the kids and i guess its a compliment that the parents trust me because they are still young,ages 2yrs-5yrs. I actualy dont even know the name of the one mother.Theres only one mom that has been kind enough to always first ask me if its ok and last summer she brought a tray of coffee and biscuits over and we had a little chat.But usualy she is happy when her daughter can play by us because she works night shifts and then she can go for a nap.She appreciates it and i dont mind at all.But the other mothers dont care,they never thank me for watching or anything they just come over when it gets late to fetch the kids. Last summer i was going kinda going insane..I would give my son an icecream and ofcourse the other kids also wanted,i told them to first ask their parents because i quickly found out that the girl nextdoor is only aloud to have a sweet on a monday..so she would scream,cry and yell because she wasnt aloud to have one.The thing is i dont want to not give my son an icecream on a hot day just because the girl isnt allowed to have one.And the other thing is i have to buy so many icecreams because some of the other kids are allowed..and if they ask me i cant look at a little kid and say no while my son is having one infront of them. Sometimes i just want peace,just time in the nice weather with my son..and that i can also go inside to make lunch,not like our neighbor that leaves me with the kids so she can cook lunch for her family and then i can go inside when the kids have left to quickly scramble a lunch together cuz i didnt have time due to playing with the kids.

Sry,had to vent!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/09/2014

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Also if they are at your house, you should speak up to the children and if they are hungry send them home for food. If you want time alone, let them know now is not a good time. Or set a time limit. And when it is time, send them on their way.

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