I am trying so hard to like his daughter, please help!!!

User - posted on 01/21/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So I am having a hard time, I am a mother of 2 kids. I have an 11 yr old son, and a 9 year old daughter. We have just relocated 1200 miles to be with my fiancé. He has two children from two different women. HIs son is 11 years old and lives with his mother. I absolutely love his son, he is respectful and polite, and his mother is so sweet and awesome. He also has a daughter who is also 11 yrs old, her biological mother is not in the picture, she hasn't been in the picture for about 9-10 years ( since the little girl was about 1) and that is when my fiancé met and married another woman. They then got full custody of his daughter, and he also let this woman legally adopt his daughter. Since then they have divorced. When I first became involved with him his daughter did not live with him, she lived with her adopted mom. Well she then got pregnant and had a child of her own, she decided that the bond between her biological child and the one with their daughter wasn't the same and she no longer wanted her to live with her, so she lived with her dad (my fiancé) for about 8 months, until my children and I made the move. Now I am trying very hard to be very understanding to this little girl, and how she has been raised, and I am try very hard to be empathetic to how she must feel. She has been a only child to her adopted mother, and to her father. She has also been the only grandchild. The amount of attention this little girl has gotten her whole life is in no way minimal. She has gotten everything her little heart has ever desired. She is completely rotten, and she is the biggest brown noser imaginable. She tries very hard to make sure that she is never the one at fault, she will blame the other children when she is also doing what they are doing. She acts one way with everyone else, but when her dad comes home she goes in to 4 year old baby mode. She is very dramatic. She has the worse attitude. None of the other children like her, including our friends children. When I first arrived here, her babysitter, and her aunt told me how unbelievably selfish this child was. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and she has proven them right. She is under the impression that she is above all of the other children. The sad part is that her dad is completely oblivious to it, and he has no relationship with his son, he has created a very contradicting divide with our children, and she knows it, and uses it. He doesn't believe she is that manipulative, but she is, and I know that sounds bad because she is only 11, but it is the truth. Her aunt and babysitter have also expressed the same things to m. So now I am finding myself not wanting anything to do with this child, and I am disgusted with her dad when he feeds in to her nonsense. She gloats when she gets her way with him, and he is very different with the other children. when she goes with her mother every other weekend, we still allow his son to come over every weekend, and we have the best times ever, but when she is home with all of us her dad and I fight, the other kids are miserable, and she seems to be happy about it. Her dad has her on a pedestal , and again she knows it, and the other kids don't really show up on his radar ( including his son). I cannot stand this little girl. I feel horrible about it, and I try very hard with her. I am struggling here, I feel like I have tried everything, and I still just don't like her. Please someone help me.... do I have to like her? I don't feel like I should have to make exceptions for her behavior.

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Jamie - posted on 01/21/2014

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I think you are right own. I cannot in no way understand your man. He shows his love in a negative way and near ruining her life and his as well.

I know what I would do but I will not tell you.

I am so sorry how can you stand this. You don't deserve this. How can a selfish man have a good wife.

Boy oh boy I really did you no good. I hope I did not make you feel bad. If God does not come in this situation there is no hope.

SHE IS A WEDGE!
Dad
Joe

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