I am widowed my of two daughters ten years apart my youngest shows no resoect

Donna - posted on 05/03/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Last week my youngest daughter graduated from college. She has been offered a wonderful job in the cooperate world which starts in September of 2015. I have lived on a fixed income for numerous years now with no other income. I have brought her grocerys , furniture , nice winter coats, 400.00 camera for her birthday took her to sky dive on her 21st birthday day bbought her phones paid her phone bill on and on. We went to dinner with her sister and my son- in - law my daughter that gratuated and her punk boyfriend who I have always been nice too. I stated I'd pay for me and my daughter the bill comes with his food on there too which his tab alone was 40.00 he gives me a 50.00 and I through in a 50.00 and says let her keep the 20.00 I say no she was very rude to me which she was. My daughters boyfriend says to me you were rude? Like il 2 I politely say to him do not talk down to me. My daughter throws a 20.00 at me for her dinner and states we do not need any favors from you anymore! I left politely said I'm done! Her birthday is this Friday I will call her wish happy bday she will answer for certain bought her card will leave it at my place if she wants it she can come it. We see each other once a week maybe for an hour I pay to eat out and movie never takes me out for Mother's Day or my birthday I even pay for that! She recently stated she needs 5,000 to finish some classes this summer for her degree. She turned her lease in has no bills but rent with 4 roommates 350.00 a month takes care of nothing I buy her even the outfit for the new job she got she does not know what happened to it! Treats me very very disrespectful has a job now going on 3 years as a property manager has mor income than me but is always broke with no bills other then rent since she shares her boyfriends car ! What would you do?? I have stop helping her since she made it clear she needs no favors from me? They weren't favors it's what moms do or did!!

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Ev - posted on 05/05/2015

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I think it is past time then to be paying for things for her if she has a job and is sharing the expense of an apartment with others. As for gifts for holidays or birthdays and such, give her a card and flowers or some token and do not spend hundreds on presents. Let her learn on her own that the world does not revolve around her. My own sister raised her daughter a certain way but now the girl lives with BF off his family with their one year old child. Neither of them work but lay around all day playing games, on the internet, and doing what they want. My sis still goes and gets her daughter about once a week or so to eat out, pay for her phone card, and buys other thinggs for her. Now that the cat that her daughter grew up with is old and suffering, she had the nerve to be cos tic to her mother over putting the poor cat to sleep. She treats her mother like crap and my sis sees and knows it but still gets all those things i mentioned and does those things still. The girl is never going to learn if this keeps up.

Donna - posted on 05/04/2015

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Raye you are so spot on with this post. I have cried so many tears for her, prayed for her safety in the lifestyle and choices she has chosen for herself, I have bought her nicer things then I can ever afford even for me. And no I can not afford to continue this! I think a lot of kids today, think they are just entitled to to whatever say whatever not pay their bills due to entitlement! My mom was a single mom of three daughters two still alive I have always been generous with what little I had. My mom had money and would never help me ever with food or anything and I worked three jobs to support my daughters . One day she said you will thank me one day and she was right it made me a strong caring women my daughter would not even help me when I fell this winter. I asked her to stop after work and bring me some soup I'll pay for it. She said no she had a holoween party to go too!

Raye - posted on 05/04/2015

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It sound's like you have spoiled her rotten, and that usually creates a greedy person that doesn't appreciate what they were given. If you are not hurting financially to give her these gifts and spend so much money on her, then it's for you to decide what to do with your money. But if you want to teach her to be financially responsible, then she needs to start doing for herself. She's an adult and needs to act like one, and have all the hardships and consequences that being an adult entails.

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