I became a single mom three years ago. My yougest child just turned thirteen and is convinced that I hate her. She has become very verbally rude to me and just revealed to her sister that she acts the way she does because she thinks that I hate her. I have tried talking through this with her as has her sister. We have done counseling before and she is adamant about not talking to anyone else. Any suggestions? Her anger towards me comes from simple things and escalates rapidly and I fear what it is doing to our relationship.
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Juliannemarie - posted on 09/17/2012
Make special days for you and her to do things to bond. Praise the good she does and when your disciplining her, be kind and positive about it. Reassure her that you love her regularly and offer to talk frequently when she gets upset.
Bea - posted on 09/18/2012
Julianne, thank you for your advice but these are things that I do already. Her older siblings are away at college and that gives us much time alone together and we have special things that we do only when they are not around. In addition, she is active in band and winterguard and I never miss an event or opportunity to support her. I will keep in mind to work harder on finding the positives however when disciplining. She becomes very frustrated if I try to talk her through the anger even if I wait 24 hours. She is really struggling with understanding her feelings. This is exacerbated by the fact that she is very intelligent and emotions just do not make sense like other things. (no logic sometimes)
Gwen, this behavior is very unique to her being alone with me or with me and her siblings and directed primarily at me or her older sister, never her brother. Her sister went through the 13-year-old mood swings, etc but this is not the same.
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