Traci - posted on 07/21/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




So my son is about a couple months from being 3 years old, and please no judging before I tell my story the one thing I have heard repeatidly from other moms is he is just in his terrible twos .. NO .. He has been diagnosed by a pyscologist with having adhd and ocd .. since he was about a year old I have notice drastic changes in him that haven't sit right with me .. He used to be the sweetest cuddly little boy but when he was a year old he started developing weird habits,, like lining things up and shutting cabinet doors and constantly exploring.. this child would never sit down without fussing.. when he turned to it got worse.. and he started talking but unlike most toddlers his age he is incredibly smart,, he can count to 25 he knows all of his abcs and colors and can speak to you in whole paragraphs,, he knows the name of every single object in site and what they do he is only two so to me that is the best part of this situation,, anyways he went from just lining toys up to stacking them and closing all doors and having 4-5 meltdowns an hour.. when I say meltdown this child will literally lay in the floor and bang his head repeatily , not just on the floor but on the walls, and then he will chew his fingers until they bleed several times a day.. when it come to playing with other kids he is violent with them especially if an adult is showing them attention, he will smack , kick, and bite other kids to a point I have to supervise him with other children.. now that he is almost three he has developed other things he has to put on his shoes , he has to still shut doors , he has to play with certain toys , he has to do routine things everything he does is a repeated process daily .. he still never sits down longer than two minutes he is constantly creating messes in my house , he has even started smacking me in the face screaming the word no constantly when I tell him to do something he ignores me completely .. he spends his days running around creating chaos he hyped up, rude, angry and easily frustrated.. when we go in public he will scream the whole time, run around like a wild animal and he will not hold my hand he jerks out of my grip everywhere.. when you take him somewhere and he doesn't want to leave he will lay in the floor scream and start telling me he isn't going to leave if you pick him up and try to remove him from anywhere he will swing his body around and head butt and slap the crap out of me until I put him down,, on a side note when he is about to go into one of these tantrums he will turn his eyes to the side of his head its creepy.. anyways he gets frustrated by playing with toys , eating, if he cant get a toy to do something his way or he cant get a piece of food in his mouth he drops to the floor or finds the nearest wall to beat on with his head .. I learned that spankings and time outs do not work because he forgets or does it again immediately after so I have to try my hardest to direct his attention elsewhere until he forgets why he is so frustrated but even then it isn't 15 minutes later and he is going into another raging outburst .. I finally broke down and had him evaluated by a pshycologist and he diagnose him with adhd and ocd ,, yes he is constantly running never still but it doesn't explain the violent outburst and the constant severe temper tantrums .. he has went to a couple behavior therapys and the last one he went to the dr said he wasn't progressing at all and not responding,, his medical doctor wouldn't prescribe the medication to him because he isn't quite three yet, so I have accepted that .. but the therapist told me he will never progress until he can calm down and be still and focus .. I cant even potty train him because he will not focus long enough to try.. I do apologize that this is so long but it gets worse .. I recently had another baby and I am scared to death for her.. I have to watch them both like a hawk.. he can be so sweet at times and be loving so he kisses her and talks to her a lot but as soon as I turn my head she screams bloody murder .. he runs up to the bassinet several times a day and poked her , slaps her, pushes on her I have even caught him trying to throw toys into her crib at her.. my final straw with Jacob is when I went to the bathroom and had her in my bedroom at the time as soon as I opened the door he was covering her face with a pillow attempting to smother her,, I have to hold her most of the time now because of this and live day by day fighting off his horrible outburst.. I have almost hit my limit I am so tired .. He used to be the sweetest loving baby how could he change into a monster over night like that? I miss my sweet smiley baby I would do anything to have that back I am at loss for words and emotion ,, at the point I am no longer over joyed with being a mommy of two ,, I am mentally overwhelmed by it .. I hate my life ,, I love my son but I hate his actions.. please tell me there is a cure for this or a possible solution to get him to calm down and become my son again he is a stranger to me ,, its almost like I am trying to raise someone else .. and yes he is only almost three .. thanks for listening to my rant any advice and kind words will go a long way for me I am falling into a deep depression over this


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2015




ADHD and ocd are hard to manage, and I know you hate hearing this, but quite a lot of what you are describing are entirely normal behaviours for a 3 year old, especially the interacting with other children and the new sibling.
All children go through the phases of haveing to have things a 'certain' way, or melting down in public. If yours does it on a continual basis, I'd say that perhaps you need to make other arrangements for him when you do your errands. "In public" is a HUGE, scary place for a 3 year old. It is sensory overload most of the time. No wonder they freak out!
My sons, when in meltdown mode, were removed. If that meant leaving my cart in the market, so be it. It is not fair to others (in my opinion) for a parent to just let that meltdown continue, and let the kid scream bloody murder throughout the market, so, yes, I'd remove my son. Sometimes that required a full control hold, yes, but I made it happen. I do have to say that, with each of my sons, one meltdown was it. They were removed from the situation and not allowed to return until they were under control. They figured out that, if they wanted to go to market with momma, and get their penny treat (those stupid quarter machines that every place has with the 'prizes' in it), they would have to behave appropriately. And, no, I wasn't the prison warden mom, either. My kids got to make noise, and be kids, just in an appropriate manner in public.
So, I agree with not medicating until he's older. At this point, diet, exercise, and training are the most helpful. Start by eliminating all sugars, and try going with more organic, less pre-processed foods. You may find a solution on the dietary side.
As far as trying to strangle his sister...Pretty common actually, just no one wants to admit that their eldest didn't like the younger sibs at first...my nephew tried to strangle and smother his sister, I think my mother told me that I tried to do that to my first brother...my point is, yes, it's disturbing, but that IS to be expected (the jealousy of the older sib), and you just need to be super watchful.
PS: Potty training...boys...UGH!!! My eldest trained, then relapsed, then retrained...my youngest tried to refuse to train, and had to be force trained...and both were around 4 before it was really effective.

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