Helen - posted on 12/06/2013 ( 23 moms have responded )
I don't know....maybe the 80's were of a different generation with girls in their teens. I always took care of myself. But, here is my problem with my daughter:
My daughter was born so pretty and I always washed her hair, got her the cutest dresses and more when she was little. She even ate the healthiest foods.
Today, at 18, her hair is always with flakes of dandruff, yellow parts on her teeth, she is gaining weight and more. I have talked to her so much about how a young woman takes care of her appearance.
The other day I'm with her our car, I'm looking at her face and she has black zit heads, hair growing on her upper lip, etc. If I was a guy, I just wouldn't even want to kiss her.
All this just breaks my heart! She is so beautiful! But in gaining this fat, and letting herself look disgusting...it literally breaks my heart.
I have tried talking sensitively about it. NO GOOD.
I have tired arguing with her. NO GOOD.
I have then did the bad and compared her to others. NO GOOD.
I have stopped shopping for food and left things bare. NO GOOD - she finds food with friends.
I have tried to exercise with her. NO GOOD.
I have taken her shopping & bought things to get her maybe to feel better - if that was an issue. NO GOOD.
I have grounded her. NO GOOD.
I am exhausted at what more I can do. Just getting her to brush her teeth is a pain! And, she is 18!
Let me give you an idea: One day I hid HoHo's for my son (he has the right to have some), but she found it. I found 3 wrappers in 1 hour (1 in her room, 2 in the bathroom trash). Then she came down and wanted to eat 4 small cheese pies I made.
I tried to talk to her and took 3 away. SHE STARTED TO CRY!
I'm wondering if food is something psychological and I need help from another direction.
I am thinking her weight gain is what is leaving her to let herself dirty.
Please help me. I am at a huge loss. And if you don't think I have approached her on ALL LEVELS...I have.
It is ruining the rest of my family's life her problem. For instance, tonight I'm not home. My husband is not home. Being a Friday, I would like to surprise the kids for a pizza delivery - WHICH we never get one; but, I KNOW she will probably eat the whole freakin pie! It is not normal.
P.S. I forgot....I have TRIED to take her for jobs, and she gets rejected all the time at the interview process. I help her so much, but then I believe that when they see her dirty appearance she is not hired. My husband is always on me about her getting a job, and I have literally tried. I even paid for lifesaving classes for her to be a lifeguard. This is just too much, and I really don't know what to do. Something has to be done. And, I don't know if all this is psychological. Like I said before, if I pull food away from her, she begins to cry and just runs up to her room and locks herself in. I need help on this.