I can't seem to get used to my boyfriend having a kid with someone else

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Gena - posted on 10/22/2014

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I agree with Dove,dont have a child with him now. Its not the childs fault,but i understand that it hurts you,and always reminds you of the past.

Dove - posted on 10/21/2014

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Do NOT have a child with this man. Another baby won't solve this issue. If I were with someone for 6 years and they had a 3 year old child with someone else... I probably wouldn't be able to get past that either. Has nothing to do w/ the child, but the fact that he cheated.

If you want to attempt to make the relationship last I recommend you seek counseling. Otherwise do all of you (especially the child) a favor and let go of the relationship. It does sound like you are jealous of a 3 year old and that's not healthy for anyone.

Raye - posted on 10/21/2014

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DO NOT have a baby to try to compensate for hurt feelings, or jealousy, or to keep your man. A baby is not something to be used to try to make a bad situation better. It won't make it better. It will be unfair and hard on that baby, and will not guarantee that you or your boyfriend will feel any differently.

His daughter may get more attention than you do, but kids need more attention. It is not a competition, and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, too. You need to be an adult and suck it up. Of course he doesn't want another kid right now, because you're acting like a child so it's like he's already raising two (or three depending on how the bio-mom acts).

If he slept with someone else, why did you stay with him? If he doesn't want to build a life with you (marriage, kids) why do you still stay with him? You deserve better than to stay in a situation where your needs are not getting met. If it's been over three years and you still can't stand that he has a child, then it seems like you should find someone that doesn't already have kids and would want to have them with you.

If you are going to stay with him, because you love him, then get over your jealousy. Treat his daughter like your own, but understand that she is not yours and that her bio parents need to do the parenting of that child. You don't have to get along with the baby-momma, but she will be a part of his life forever now that they have a kid, so get used to it. Try to be kind to her face and don't say bad things about her in front of their daughter.

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Sarah - posted on 10/21/2014

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Maybe he is not the guy for you. If he has dated you for 6 years and you don't have a ring and a date he is not interested in having a long term relationship with you. You getting pregnant out of your jealousy will not help. The one that suffers is the child. You need to get out of your selfish self also. The 3 yr old did nothing to deserve being in this situation. If this is not the situation you want then look for a different guy. There are many out there and maybe one that wants to commit to you only.

Shoane - posted on 10/21/2014

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My boyfriend has a child with someone else... We have Been dating for 6 years and during the duration he impregnated the girl now the child is 3 years old.. i feel like the girl get more attention than I do. His family treat her as a queen they mention her every time I hate that so much.... i love my man so much and now I want to get pregnant so bad but his not ready to have another kid... Help me I don't know what to do 😢.... i try by all means to forgive to have an understanding but I can't stand the fact the he has a kid.... baby mama and i don't really get along... We not friend.. but I do get along with he 3 year old baby.. i love her so much.... If only she was my bio child... then everything will be okay
Please help me... i want to forgive and forget all the pain he has caused me.... but I always feel like have a baby will remove the jealously......

Dove - posted on 10/21/2014

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Well... if you are going to make the relationship w/ him work you are going to have to find a way to not just accept the fact that he has a child, but also love and care for that child when he/she is w/ you.

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