I can't stop crying over my 18 year old daughter, the problem is, I am as much to blame as she is...

Jennifer - posted on 11/04/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Life throws us all curve balls. And it's impossible to put into words all that has transpired in my 38 years or what brought me to this point. I left an unhappy marriage a year and a half ago. 18 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart and two amazing, beautiful daughters. Within months of leaving I wrongly starting dating someone our family has known for 15 years. Very bad decision and timing. My Ex and I were on our way towards a divorce and that obviously expedited it. We have joint/shared custody of the girls. My Ex and I talk and even had a joint 18 bday party for my oldest. Since she turned 18 she said she is not coming to my house any more and won't even have dinner with me. It is because of the guy I am still dating and very much in love with. She said I didn't try hard enough with her dad, that she will never accept the new guy, that she won't forgive me. (I am giving such a brief description, it doesn't relay at all, the many intricacies that life is all about, you know?) My whole world has only been my girls. Even now the weeks I have them I do not see my boyfriend. He doesn't live with me and I am not allowing that for a very long time. I'm a professional working woman, college educated, and secure in most areas of my life, but I am just dying over this. I am at work this moment just crying over my computer. I try super hard to be so patient and understanding with her because I know she is hurting but if I have done anything right, it's been be a good mom! How do I approach this with her? How do I get up in the morning? How do I help her forgive me, accept him (eventually - but it has been a year since she was told - by me) and move on? I don't bad mouth her dad. He and I have a decent, ok relationship as far as Ex's go. I am doing everything I can to "right" this wrong. Oh my, so sorry to ramble.

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