Lily - posted on 03/23/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am married but very unhappily so. If I had the courage to do it I would be divorced right now. Right now I am at my wits end and just want to run away. In the last couple of years my two boys have went from sweet little boys to full blown disrespectful brats (I know it is bad to say that about ones own kids). So far today (it is 11:30am) my 5 year old broke an arm off the fan in his room, broke out the light bulb with a hockey stick, and told me to shut up and get out of his face when I was getting on his case about it. The bigger problem is that their room is an utter pig sty and I can't get the glass cleaned up with out quarantining the room for a few hours. They have so much crap, half of it broken, and none of it is put away. There are toys, clothes, crap from storage, bedding, etc, EVERYWHERE! I would clean it for them but I want them to learn to do it. Then their lame dad won't back me up. If I take stuff away when they don't clean it up dad just gives it right back. Any punishments I put in place he quickly revokes. I am a full time student who works full time and trying to raise kids on my own with a husband who just enables them at every turn. I want to just pack up all of their stuff and take it away. If they can't clean it up then they don't deserve to have it. But dad just puts it right back in there. I know this makes me sound pretty pathetic and now that I see it written I realize this even more but why for once in my life can I not just have help?? Haven't I been through enough already.... I feel like I have just given up. I am trying to get into med school and he is constantly tearing me down. Others have classified him as abusive but his ways of reasoning cut through me. Over 10 years he has allowed his brother to physically hurt me on 3 occations, he beat the crap out of me once really bad (denies it was as bad as it was and it was my fault), he drug me behind our car when I was 7 months pregnant (It was my fault for holding onto the back of the car) and I had to have a friend take me to the ER, a year ago he chased me down when I was with a friend (going 100mph on the freeway with my kids with him), and just recently we got into a fight and he threw me down and blackened my eye (that was my fault for smacking him when he called me a cunt). But he has gotten to me enough that I don't think I am much and really what if I can't do it on my own???? I don't even have family to back me up.....