I cant handle my 5 yr old son

Lianne Farrelly - posted on 02/24/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 5 yr old son, is so hard to handle can anyone help? He has so much energy I don't know were it comes from, but the worst part is he swears at me and his siblings, he shouts so loud his vein pops out of his neck. He wont even look at the television, even tried taking him the dvd rental shop to choose his own dvd's(he did) but they never got watched. He is in 1st year infant school and he still can not write his name or numbers,as for all his class mates they are way ahead of him but he is just not interested, his homework is a nightmare I end up doing it. He runs out of the house and around the block, he is just so hyper. I have asked his teacher to have him assessed for ADHD but she says he is not :/ I also have my 13 year old with ADHD so I feel that he has it as my daughter was not as bad as him. I JUST NEED HELP IN WHAT I CAN DO?

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Dawnita - posted on 02/24/2014

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I soooo understand. My boys never would plug in to a TV like the girls would. It WAS a constant battle. Friends used to tell me, "This is only for a season." It never did sink in. ...but the season DID pass! Those harder to handle children have a special purpose in God's Kingdom. Hang in there! You have the BEST job in the world.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/24/2014

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So, there's not a lot of enforcing. If he's screaming, you tell him to stop, and he continues to scream himself into his room and slam things around...you need to consistently follow up.

"Son, please stop screaming" 'kid screams again' "Son, you'll need to use your inside voice, or you will sit quietly in the time out chair for 5 minutes" 'kid screams again' "Son, sit in the time out chair" 'kid goes, but screams the entire time' "Son, when you stop screaming your time will start. If you scream again, your time will restart from zero"

This isn't something that you address once, and hope it helps, it's something that you consistently follow through on. If you already have other children who behave similarly, then this should be 'old hat'.

I never said they need to be medicated, as every child I've interacted with does well with behavioural tools and redirection. But, it has to be constant, and consistent.

And, honestly, EVERY parent would like an hour of peace...sometimes that happens, others (and more often) it doesn't. I feel for your frustration, but I also know that this will pass, with loving attention.

Lianne Farrelly - posted on 02/24/2014

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Well of course i tell him to stop it, and send him to his room, but he will go shouting and slam the doors behind him as he goes. I got told the teacher has to apply him to the childrens unit if she see's any signs, as i said my 13 yr old was diagnosed at the age of 6 with ADHD. But even if he has maybe i will relax and realise its the ADHD working on him, but i would try find different ways to help him. I wont give him medication which i didn't with my eldest daughter. And to say limited for a 5 year old i said ' i would just like an hour of peace' Not all day

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/24/2014

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What are his consequences for misbehaving? For example: Screaming. What are consequences?

It is not up to the school to test him for attention deficit disorder. That is up to you, and your physician. If you feel that his behaviour warrants testing, then have him tested.

Sounds to me like a normal 5 year old that needs to be given some boundaries, and kept within them, though...

And, if he's already exhibiting signs of ADHD, DO NOT try to park him in front of a television. TV should be limited at that age, anyway!

Lianne Farrelly - posted on 02/24/2014

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Aww thanks Dawnita for your kind words x Yeah I try not to give him chocolate incase he goes worse, He does sleep though if I put him to bed an lay next to him :/ but that's because he still has a blanky and dummy which I wont take away from him as its the only thing what calms him down. I just don't understand why he wont watch cartoons or any childrens movies. And with him swearing it makes me feel disrespected, as he wont say it to others. School wise I try spend more time with him but I have another 3 children to attend to and I have been diagnosed with stress/anxiety disorder which I really think he has a lot to do with it. Love him to death and wouldn't change him for the world but i would just love an hour of peace an quiet instead of worrying what he is upto when he is quiet lol xxx Bless you too

Dawnita - posted on 02/24/2014

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The first thing would be to evaluate his diet and sleep patterns. Sleepiness makes us all cranky. Five year olds typically need around 10 hours of sleep a day. That's hard with active little boys. There are sooooo many allergies today. Seems like we are becoming allergic to this world! LOL Our youngest boy has improved drastically since we took corn out of his diet. It has not been an easy thing! Corn is in practically everything. Anything that says dextrose, maltodextrin, or "natural flavoring" is probably corn. Watch your labels. I would start by cutting all sugar & processed foods from his diet and giving him as many fresh fruits & veggies as he will eat. I also give my children fish oil & probiotic supplements. It makes a world of difference in their behavior when their gut is working properly. In the meanwhile, consistency is key. If you don't plan to stick to your guns, don't even start the battle. If you tell him to pick something up, but don't make him do it, then you are making your job harder each time. Give yourself some time to decide what is most important for him to learn right now. Pick one thing this week to be consistent with him on. Next week, work on something else. And don't forget to pray. God loves your son even more than you do and He love you and wants to help you be the mother He plans for you to be. I'll be praying for you this week Lianne! May God guide and direct you in dealing with your ambitious 5 year old.

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