Sheri - posted on 04/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
...I work in the mining industry operating heavy duty equipment 12 hours a day, 2 day shifts, then a switch to 2 night shifts followed by 4 days off. The commute is an hour each way, which means my two year old needs to be cared for by someone else for approximately half her childhood. If I had a partner, this may a great situation, sharing equal amounts of our time with her; however, I am a single mom providing solely for my daughter and I. This means I am paying someone else to raise her, and in my case, there are no daycares which operate on a 24hours basis, so she divides her already divided time with daycare and thankfully my 60+parents. The silver lining to this is that she is smart, vivacious, happy, beautiful, compassionate beyond belief! She is the picture of how the world oughtta' be! I bought my first home in Novemeber! It took more than seven years to recover financially from identity theft and fraud that i fell victim to. It is not easy, at all, trust me! But look at me now, a beautiful daughter, our very own home, good job....I think the only thing missing is someone to share my life's joys with. I want to find love, passion, companionship. And this is where I realize that I cant wake up. Is this really happening? Please let this be a bad dream...
We have so much in common. I might be awestruck by this man; its as if our minds are tuned into each others, like he can read my thoughts...its almost phenomenal, in a sixth sense sort of way. This is what it is like to be manipulated. I didn't see it coming. I couldn't tell it was happening. But I do see that I am about to loose everything. I cant do anything else to change the outcome. I've gone on stress leave, I see a councellor, I have a case number with the police and my mortgage, utility bills, and daycare payments are past due. Ive maxed out payday loans and my low limit credit card; and, now my fitness membership has gone to collections. This man moved into my house, took over my vehicle and never contributed-the gas light was on every time he came back with my truck...and I only met this man 3 months ago, practically to the day. I want to wake up! How could I ever let this happen to us, my daughter and I? How did I loose control of my independence and strength and courage? How could I endure his verbal abuse, his accusations that I was unfaithful and dishonest, the yelling! Twice a week it seemed, I would be appologizing for things I didnt do! He had me feeling crazy, and doubting myself, when in actuality, it is he who is crazy. He must be! He was stealing from me, lying to me, and god know what else! I couldnt see it for the life of me! I felt it, I think, but I had been blinded by manipulation. It is no laughing matter, and it is his sickness.
I have been so afraid. I have no place to turn to for help. Ive gone to banks, family, my mortgage broker! asking for salvation. I cant even get a loan for $5000 to cover these past due payments, and there is nothing left to do. Im pawning off my tv, dvd player, and printer today. Ive got my vehicle for sale. But none of this will save my daughter and I. It will be too late. Where do sleep when my house is taken? I caused a accident at work(very dangerous job as it is) beacuse I am so stressed, hence the leave from work, and if I go back in the same state of mind or worse, just so I can feed us and try to salvage whats lost, am I taking a chance, risking mine or others lives? Why is this happening? How could I let this happen? This cant be really happening; it all must be a really, bad dream....
I'snt there anything or anyone who helps women in these situations? Do people not care about other people anymore? Can someone just please wake me up???