I Caught My 12 Year-Old Looking at Adult Video Game Material on Cell phone?

Rochelle - posted on 10/14/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have 3 boys ages 12, 8, and 6. Last night I caught my song viewing adult video game tutorials on Youtube through his cell phone. The game was called Temptress Skyrim. I'm so shocked! His grandmother bought him a smartphone back in August against my wishes. His father told me that he put privacy settings on it so I thought I would soften up and let him have a cell phone. Recently I noticed that he would jump suddenly when I would come in his room at night. While he was sleep I went in and took the phone out of his room to look through it. As soon as I closed my door he was knocking on my door aggressively saying he needed his phone. I opened the door and he tried to take the phone from me saying that he needed to set his timer. He was totally out of character. I've never seen him like this. Of course, his story did not make a load of sense to me. I looked through his history and he was looking at videos on Youtube of a game that showed nude or barely dressed women. I'm so upset I let him have a cell phone. He typically likes playing video games and I have taken them all away, including the cell phone. My son was crying heavily last night and I was trying to call him down so I could speak with him. I know he is growing up, but he knows better than this! Any advice or suggestions?

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Dove - posted on 10/14/2012

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I agree with 'Little Miss' about the sex talk. Make sure you reassure him that his curiosity is NORMAL, but that porn, etc... is a completely inaccurate portrayal of what real sex/relationships should be like.



Taking away the phone was a good step, but I would not give him back a phone that has internet access on it at all. And make sure you monitor any and all computer access at home.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/14/2012

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Great point Dove about the computer access at home. Make sure the computer is in a common area that people are passing all the time. Not a bedroom, or a playroom or even an office. Keep it exposed.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/14/2012

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Well, really it is a natural curiosity. He is a 12 year old boy about to hit puberty and curiosity has gotten the better of him. I think it might be time to have a sex talk with him, and to tell him that porn is not real portrayal of relationships or sex. I would also have taken his phone away, but definitely reset it. He may have figured out how to take the settings off, so check to see if there is a parental lock on the phone.



I know it is disturbing to think of your child interested in sex, but really it is normal. Try to take a breath, and really talk with him about it. He is probably very embarrassed on top of everything else. Good luck.

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Rochelle - posted on 10/14/2012

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Thanks so much for the suggestions and advice ladies. I definitely panicked last night. I was trying to calm him down, but he got so aggressive. I came into the room and got the phone while I thought he was sleeping, but he was faking it. Almost immediately when I left the room, he came in banging on my door demanding for his phone back. He mentioned he needed to set the alarm and he was yelling.



I started to get upset more and more and he got more aggressive. I did manage to calm him down and told him that I understand that he is curious and growing up, but he doesn't need to be viewing inappropriate stuff online.



Me and him have had talks about these matters before, but briefly. I do agree that it is time to have that talk. His father had a talk with him over the summer about sex, but I think it is time for him to hear my take on things. He and I are divorced and the boys visit him every summer. I have spoken to my son about women and treating them with respect before, but is is definitely time to have a heart to heart.



I really just want my son to be comfortable with speaking to me and letting me know how he feels. I love him very much and tried to get him to understand that I have to monitor things to make sure he is okay and doing the right things.



Right now I do not really allow him to get on the computer. He has been asking to use it, but I don't let him. I took his XBOX away two weeks ago as well. I thought he was focusing too much on games. I definitely agree that he should not have internet usage on the phone.

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