I caught my step son licking the bottoms of my shoes, what do I do?

Janet - posted on 05/16/2017 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My name is Janet. New to Circle of Moms. I'm 35 and my step son is only 9 years old. I wear flats or low heals everyday to work. About 2 weeks ago I awoke from a nap on the couch after work, walked upstairs to my bedroom, and saw my step son licking the bottoms of the flats that I wore that day to work. His little 9 year old tongue was licking the dirt off the bottoms of my shoes! Why? I was so taken back. However I said nothing and quickly backed out of the bedroom without him seeing me. Since that day , I have noticed that my shoes, especially my flats are completely spotless clean on the bottoms. And they are not always in the same spot that I left them. Obviously he's licking and playing with my shoes when I am not home. I also now notice him constantly starring at my feet and shoes. He's a good boy, and we have always gotten along. His father is away sometimes a week at a time because of work. So a lot of the time it's just my step son and I. I really don't know how to approach this situation without making it completely awkward between us. Should I embrace this? Continue to let him lick my shoes clean? Should I tell him it's okay, and just give him my shoes to clean. He has asked to rub my feet in the past before I knew of his fetish, and I always let him. Have any moms out there experienced this? Is it just simply something he will grow out of?

6 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 05/25/2017

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Here is my opinion from the other thread:
First, as a health professional it is a gross and dangerous behavior. Second, as a mother if my child were to touch my belongings without my permission he'd be in huge trouble. Confront him- won't be any more awkward then when he catches some god-awful disease and has to go to the hospital. Get him some therapy. There are bunch of posts about this and I feel the same about each one. Filthy, disrespectful and unhealthy.

Dove - posted on 05/17/2017

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For a child past toddlerhood licking the bottoms of shoes (not that it is OK for a toddler, but very young kids have not always learned better yet and need to be taught that it's nasty)? Yeah... I'd definitely get a psych consult. That's not a BAD thing to have done. It's just a helpful resource to see if there is an underlying cause to this behavior. You might consider one yourself given some of the things you said in your OP.

If he is 9 and his father is sometimes away a week at a time and he is licking your shoes when you are not home... who is taking care of this child?

Janet - posted on 05/17/2017

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I think using the word embrace was the wrong word. I more or less meant to ignore the issue, just continue to let him do what he does. Not like watch him or anything. Just go about my business. I don't know what boys do, I am his step mom , I definitely think letting his father know is a good idea. Didn't know if this is something he would grow out of. I'm not sure how long he has been doing this. He has never gotten sick in the past. I definitely don't want him to get sick. I will definitely decline any offer he gives to rub my feet. Are you sure pysch doctors are the right approach? Poor boy.

Michelle - posted on 05/16/2017

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That is not normal and any right minded parent would confront him and tell him to stop. Don't let his rub your feet and make sure you have boundaries. His Father also needs to know.
It's disgusting and could lead to a serious illness.

Dove - posted on 05/16/2017

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Any rationally thinking parent would understand just how gross and disturbing this behavior is and speak to his pediatrician about a psych referral. Who in their right mind would even consider embracing the fact that a child is licking filth (and possibly animal feces) off the bottoms of shoes?!

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