I didn't breast feed my babies. Don't judge me!!

Kate - posted on 04/08/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Iam a single mother of 2 girls, ages 3 and a half and 3 and a half months. Both of my pregnancies were high risk, I was rediculously sick throughout, I spent the majority of both pregnancies hospitalized and both girls were born prematurly. When my first was born, dr's begged me not to try and breast feed because I needed to regain my own health, it also took a while for any milk to drop. She was put on Neo-sure(I call it formula-zilla. Its amazing stuff.) My 2nd girl came early very unexpectedly and spent 3 and a half weeks on a vent in the NICU. I hand expressed as much as I could, so she did recieve some breast milk the first few weeks, but being so stressed by not having her home, not being able to stay at the hospital constantly, and stress put on me by her fathers job loss took a toll on my milk supply. I certainly did try to breast feed the first few days when she was home but it was stressing me out tremendously, so I stopped and she was also placed on Neo-sure. I just don't understand why some mothers think if you don't breast feed your a horrible mother. And yes, those types of mom's exsist, I know quite a few of them. All I heard/still hear is "Did you not try.." or "She will end up sick without it.." or there are the looks. The moms that just look at you like you are a disappointment to God because you didn't do what should come naturally. News flash, I talk it over with God every day ladies, and yes it is a God-given gift to breastfeed but guess what? So are the precious creatures I incubated and suffered for months for to bring into the world!! Ladies if you breastfeed/were able to breastfeed, kudos to you. I love it when I hear someone talking about how well it is going for them! But please don't dis-count those of us who are unable to. We still get to bond. I often feed my newborn skin tp skin and even though she isn't on the breast, she still has that eye contact and bonding experience with me that every mother loves to have. The fact of the matter is, whatever a moms reasons if she doesn't decide to breastfeed are her reasons, and should be supported reguardless. After all,a breastfeeding mother is just as incredible as a non breastfeeding mother. They both want the same for there children... A happy, healthy exsistence. God bless.

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Tina - posted on 04/13/2012

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know how you feel. Not that it's anyone elses business how you feed your child. People should mind their own business and leave mothers alone. Not everyone can feed it's not a big deal even though people make it out to be. We don't love our kids any less.

Kate - posted on 04/08/2012

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Thank you momma's!! Ya'll have definatley encouraged me and let me know I'm not the only one dealing with this negativity. Kudo's to all of us for doing what we have to for ourselves and for our precious gifts from God. In my opinion, if God intended every mother to breast feed, then he would never have allowed whoever it was that came up with bottle formula to have the thought pop into his/brain! God makes different kinds of mothers to deal with different situations. We are IMPERFECT and it's our IMPERFECTIONS that make us PERFECT in the eyes of our sweet kiddo's.

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You know what? I don't even care whether someone breast feeds or bottle feeds. As long as you feed your baby and the baby is cared for. It's a shame so many people feel the need to put their two cents in where it isn't wanted.

Iridescent - posted on 04/08/2012

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I didn't, either. I never even tried. My first, I didn't know enough about sex ed to be honest and had no idea how it worked. I had never been breast fed, and I'd never seen a child breast fed, and nobody ever taught me. I thought if I were going to, I'd have to have my nipples pierced and it scared me even more than I was already scared. So I absolutely refused when he was born - and I'm okay with that. My second, I knew better about how the body worked, but I wasn't comfortable with it. My third, I also didn't intend to - and because I didn't, it saved her life. We found out she has a metabolic disorder that is typically fatal within the first days of birth with neonate onset - which she has. She's alive and thriving now! She has a feeding tube, as does one of our other children (not biologically mine), so we have 2 that will be on formula for life. A lot of work goes into making formula and making sure these kids that need it are getting the nutrients they need, so I know even more work goes into making standard formula balanced for the majority of babies, and I'm fine with that. I have nothing to feel guilty about. It was my choice, for my reasons, and I don't regret it.

Chrystal - posted on 04/08/2012

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Couldn't agree more! I wasn't able to continue nursing with either of my kids. I had my midwife tell me if I couldn't nurse my son it was my fault I wasn't trying hard enough :( I did everything I could I didn't have a milk supply and he couldn't latch on. He was my first and I spent 2 hours crying over that ladies comments mostly because I hadn't slept more than 30 minutes in 3 weeks because my son had colic and all the nursing problems. No one should make another mother feel like that we all do the best we can for our kids and in my kids case the best was formula.

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This heathen says you should ignore them and enjoy your children and be thankful you have them. The meanies will be meanies regardless. Ignore them.

Kristy - posted on 04/08/2012

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Here, here that is so true, i am due now with my third and i had a lot of trouble with getting my milk in, in the first place and ended up bottle feeding as it just didnt happen. I have had the looks, the judgement and the oh but you didn't try, etc, etc. The best advice i was ever given was from a midwife after i had my first daughter and she said to me, you are the one who has to take the baby home and look after them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If breastfeeding is not something that is working for you, then do what feels right. Its your baby and you are there mum. I cried when she told me that as everyone else was so judgemental. This midwife was very pro breastfeeding but that was still her advice as she said she could see how hard it was for me. She was a saving grace.

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