i discovered i have 2 children with a women that is married what to do?

Matt - posted on 11/04/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




i have a question, iam not a mom but a father i just found out. i recently discovered i have 2 children with a women that was married (recently seperated) and lied to me when they were together when i believed she was single. Her husband has been the father to the 2 children, 4 and 5 years oldsince day 1. ive always wondered and seing pictures of them as they get older show they look so much like me and i recently had the chance to do a dna swab while she visited as friends. test results show im the father. i brought this to her attention and she lost her mind. i understand her anger towards this but i needed to know before dragging everyone through the courts. She wants me to leave it alone and dissapear because she feels it will destroy the children and the husband emotionally and pshycologically. He is a good man and they love eachother very much they are a very happy familly my question is am i making a mistake by making her tell everyone and to give me the responsibilties to be the father i deserve to be to my own blood or turn my back since they have a happy loving home with two good parents already. isnt better to do this now at this age before they grow up and never accept me. Im a firm believer the truth in the end will set you free and we reap what we sow when it wasent my fault she wouldnt let me test them when they babies. thank you for your time moms


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Elliot - posted on 11/05/2012




I do agree that the truth is the best and what this women did was evil BUT I do think you need to think of the children. They are already 4 and 5 years old- you would be ripping away the only father they know. Taking their father figure away will scar them. I am not sure what the right decision is but please don't fool yourself into thinking they are too young for it to have a huge impact on them because it will.

S. - posted on 11/05/2012




Hi Matt,

She will want you to leave it won't she, she's sat there playing happy families. People like her make me so angry! You, her poor husband and your childen are the victims to this woman's lies.

If I was you I couldn't have children out there that I don't see and I would be willing to rock as many boats needed to do so, IMO lies like this don't stay covered forever and when those kids grow up and challenge you why you never bothered even though you've known the truth could you find a good enough reason for them?

You say good things about the husband and I'm not sure how that poor man will handle been told he's not the bio father but hopefully he can still be dad too, I have no real advice for you on how to handle this mess and I can only see it getting messier before it gets better. Good luck to you.

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