I don't know how to do this.

Kelly - posted on 09/03/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I have been divorced for just over 2 years. Its a rollercoaster. At first I was happy to be "free", then I was SO depressed because of how hard it was financially - at one point I literally had $4 to my name, no food in the house, a hungry 3 year old and an empty gas tank so I didn't know how I was going to get to work. I am not wealthy by any means, but financially things have gotten MUCH better, still a little more sketchy than I would care for, but better - I can afford to feed her, put gas in my car, pay the bills on time, and usually still have some money left over. What got me through that was the idea that "things will get better, I just need to get my finances under control", now that I am well on my way to achieving that goal...I feel SO lonely. I know I need to get out and start doing things - I plan to join a kickboxing class this week. I spend time with my family only when my daughter is home with me - they are busy also. I hope to go back to school in 6 months when I have my finances a little more under control. There are guys...or there have been I suppose, that show interest, but they usually do something that sends an alert chill running up my spine. Like, asking to meet my daughter on the first or second date, one guy even told me he wasn't afraid to hit a woman on our third date (on our first date he told me what a wh*&% his ex wife was - that should have been all the sign I needed), other guys assume we are in a full fledged relationship after one date... It goes on and on, so I gave up - focused on getting my finances in order and making myself a better person. Like I said, I got the finance thing about solved, I hope to always work on making myself better. But lately...I am SO alone. I cook, clean, go to work, mow the lawn, the last time I went out with a friend all she wanted to do was talk about guys - and none of them exist in my life, so the conversation was awkward. I don't want to sit in bars. I tried the online dating thing, but the problem is that I feel absolutely no connection to the guys on these sites. I am much more interestedin meeting someone the old fashioned way. I don't know what to do. I take good care of my daughter - the best that I can and she is happy and healthy. I have noticed lately though that this "alone" feeling is starting to get to me, I am getting more and more concerned that I am just a plain old terrible person and that must be why I am completely unable to make a connection with anyone, this leads to sadness, a general lack of interest in much of anything, and this shows - it is portrayed by me in every way even though I try to hide it. So...how do I do this?

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