I don't know if I'm strong enough...

Brittney - posted on 08/16/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm 17 & the father is 24. He's denying the baby is his & he treats me like crap. He curses at me, calls me names, & yells at me. We've been together for 5 months, we definitely didn't mean to get pregnant. We've both messed up in our relationship, but he just told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore & he said I needed to find some where else to live. I don't have a job, so I'm scared I won't be able to raise my baby on my own. I'm 18 weeks pregnant & I'm due January 15, 2013. I really need advice from anyone. I just don't think I'm strong enough to deal with all of this on my own.

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Kiara - posted on 08/20/2012

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i feel your pain sweetie i was 15 when i had my first and my mum died when i was 6 my dad was in the army and i had been living with my brothers and sister the father of my beautiful 18 year old taya dined being the father so he had no help in raising her and my fam helped me financially but if your ever in australia im sure i can make room for you plus taya has 2 kids im sure ur beautiful baby could play with them

Kami - posted on 08/17/2012

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Brittney, you will find strength where you didn't know you had it. Your situation is very common, I've been through it. If you know the baby is his, let him deny the baby. Be pregnant by yourself and have that baby by yourself. When the baby is born, give him a DNA test and collect your child support. Its not fun and its hard, but you CAN do it without him. Do you have family? Check with your community, there are several programs to help teens and women in this situation. But whatever you do, don't give up! That's all he wants you to do.

Chaya - posted on 08/17/2012

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You will find strength you never knew you had.
I'm not suggesting adoption or keeping the baby, the best solution is the one that works for you. I hope your family will be there for you.
Get a paternity test done, and stay away from him, he doesn't want a relationship with you or the baby, that's his loss.
If the baby grows and asks if he was an accident, I suggest you tell him he was a suprise. I'd be happy to do a suprise again, but not an accident.

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stay strong sweetheart. it doesnt sound like a healthy atmosphere to be bringing a baby in to. I wouldnt want to be with a man like that. do you have any family or friends you could go to stay with? if not, there could be womens shelters in your area. Your local welfare office will be able to point you in the right direction. Dont be ashamed to get a helping hand, and that goes for finances too. We all make mistakes and things in life happen that we dont plan on, but the baby and you do not need to suffer for it. When the time comes, you can get some legal advice about what to do with regards to the baby and the father. he can be court ordered into taking a paternity test if need be, and pay support. You can get court orders about the time he spends with the child. keep records of whats happening, things he says/contributions he makes/events. it will all come in handy. you are stronger than you know right now, and you will get through this. If you really dont think you're ready to be a mother, you could consider adoption for your child. i hope it all works out for you (((big hugs)))

Kristin - posted on 08/16/2012

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When the baby is born file for child support. if he claims that the baby is not his he will have to pay for a paternity test.
can you live with your family? you need to start asking for family help. go to the welfare office and see if you can get any help.

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