Rachel - posted on 09/14/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hmmm how to start.... We'll I was pregnant at 18 I had only known my babies father for a month before we got pregnant and was married a month later. We have been married for over six years now and I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. As soon as we were married I moved in with him and I didn't work or go to school or anything. Shortly after I left home me and my family had a falling out and so I was left alone with someone I hardly knew carrying a baby. I think I found it comforting and a place I felt wanted or needed by constantly catering to my husband. And I think he liked the control. immediately after the birth of my son I suffered from depression which led to an eating disorder which slowly spiraled downward. There has been countless times I have threatened leaving my husband and I did once for like a week then I CALLED HIM to come get me. It had been a constant roller coaster over the years and I feel sort of dead inside. I'm so scared of what to do. I keep telling myself that if I do leave what if I was just being to hard on the relationship or I had too high of expectations. My husbands family is crazy and I think what if he moves back there with them and my son grows up being around them and being subjected to them. What if I make a mistake? I'm not through school yet and I have no way of supporting me or my son. I have thought what if I just wait until I get done with school and then see how it is. But that would be just another year of the same roller coaster ride too. What should I do??!?