I don't know what to do.

Eli - posted on 11/05/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend is driving me insane. He calls me to argue with me if i go out to buy clothes for the baby and diapers and what ever else she needs because he says i take to long or he says i dont buy him anything. Also lately he doesn't even let me touch his phone he gets out of work takes a shower and goes straight to his phone all night. he doesnt help me with the baby he lays all day in bed including weekends. he told me if i didn't put money for the rent he would leave, i told him i was not paying money for rent that is his responsibility. he always wants to take MY DAUGHTERS things to his niece. and he puts everything else first except of the baby he never has money for his child and wants me to pay for everything even when he drives me places he says i have to pay his gas or he wont take me anywhere else. what should i do i cant even think straight anymore i am a 20 year old mom who works 12 hours a day

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Guest - posted on 11/05/2014

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Leave. It doesn't sound like he wants a relationship with you.

A relationship is a partnership--both partners working toward the same goals. It doesn't sound like you both have the same goals, so you need to either have a discussion about the goals for your relationship and create goals you are both willing to work toward, or separate. If you are both working toward the same goals, he won't care how you spend your time or money because he will know you are trying to accomplish the same things he is. He won't mind giving you a ride if your car is in the shop or whatever, or sharing his car with you when you go out because he will know that it will save money to put toward your bigger goals.

That said, if a man threatens to leave over rent money, let him leave! The fact that he is so possessive and protective over something as trivial as money shows that he cares a lot more about something else (whatever he needs the money for), than his relationship with you. Your relationship should come first, so find someone who will put you first.

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Eli - posted on 11/05/2014

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Thank you so much is that he plays these mind games that make you think hey am i really doing something wrong but im not the only who has noticed how he has changed with my so i am going to let him leave because i am too young to put up with it and i can take care of myself

Guest - posted on 11/05/2014

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Good....a note though. You shouldn't need other people to validate your feelings or actions. You are the only one in control of your actions, no one else, so do what you feel you need to do to accomplish the goals you have for yourself. You don't need to find other people to tell you it's okay. :)

Eli - posted on 11/05/2014

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That is exactly what i was thinking it just makes me feel better that some one else feels the same way i do about the situation and i don't feel bad about it anymore. last night he was not even going to sleep at home because i refused to do what he wanted so i told him go ahead and leave but he came back and he is still telling me to do things like if i need him to stay with me for all i care he doesn't even provide money for his own child he acts as if im the one who needs to change how i think about my child he is just not matured in the head apparently because from my point of view a mature man will put his daughter before a car or even a pair of shoes

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