I don't really know where to start but here goes, my husband and I became foster parents after our second child graduated from college. We found ourselves alone and living in a big empty home. We have a wonderful family and both kids are happily married and doing well. After we started the foster program we were pretty overwhelmed with all the requirements and constant home visits but after we got our first child, a 5 month old boy we were hooked. Our long term plan was to foster children between 6 weeks and 3 yrs. of age. Our first and only baby was a 5 month old boy and we had no idea that within a years time we would be adopting this young man but that is exactly what happened. After a year with just the three of us and no family visits ( mom in jail) and dad unknown we were told it was time for our foster child to be placed. We both thought about it long and hard and wanted what was best for this child we had grown to love so much, well we realized giving him up was not an option for us so we adopted him and gave him our name. Our life has changed drastically and we are making all the adjustments we can in order to make his life special. I apologize for the long story but I thought if you didn't know the full story t would be difficult to get sound advice. I guess what we really want to know is did we do the right thing? The reason we are asking is because when we drop him at daycare, go to the stre or visit the park we get funny looks when people find out he is our son. We realize we are 60/62 but we are healthy, active and are full time professionals. I just want to understand. We love him so much and he loves us equally. I guess our question is are we being selfish by not giving our son an opportunity to have younger parents?
Luludi - posted on 05/18/2013
Mum in jail and father unknown...saying that you are a blessing for this child is too little! I understand your doubts. I'm 40, my husband is 60 and we have 2 children under 3 years old. Well, it's not the same situation, we haven't adopted and I'm younger, but sometimes I cannot help thinking that my children will probably lose their father at a younger than usual age. Then I see how their father adores them, I think of the stability we are able to offer them, and I know they will grow up in a happy and healthy family for many years to come. Isn't this more important than the fact that someone might think he is their granddad now and then? On the other hand, you never know what will happen, even in a younger couple. Things can go wrong everywhere. I have a couple of friends whose husbands (all around 40) have made such a mess of their family lives! It is very important to favour the relationship with your older children, so that they can be of help and support in the future. My husband has a 25 year old son who loves his little siblings and I always try to favour their relationship for their sake. In conclusion: when doubts emerge, just look at your wonderful family, at your child's serene eyes and enjoy all this!
Bonnie - posted on 05/16/2013
Wow, thank you so much for the kind words. We are so blessed and would recommend this experience to anyone that is thinking about adopting. There are thousands of kids here in Houston looking for homes , we were shocked to find out how many. Thank you again.
Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/16/2013
You did an incredible thing! You gave that baby a chance at having a loving and stable home. There might be challenges bc of your age , but young people have different challenges also. You are wiser and have experience and can offer him things younger parents could not have. Many people in your position would not be willing to start all over again with a young child, but obviously you loved him so much it was worth making the sacrifices . Who cares what other people think and if they are a bit surprised ; your son will thrive and be in loving hands and who could ask for more? Congratulations and God bless
Vanessa - posted on 05/16/2013
Older parents can be such a blessing to a child. Think of all that you can provide that many younger parents could not, stability, wisdom, patience. But mostly it's clear how much you love this boy. You didn't adopt him out of obligation, but out of love for him. You've already raised what sound like healthy happy people. I imagine he will have the best life with you. My husband and I had our children in our 40's, and they inspire us to take good care of ourselves so we will be with them as long as we can. And don't forget about your older children and how they can be strong and loving role models for your son. I think he is as blessed to have you as you are him.
~â¥Little Miss - posted on 05/16/2013
Congratulations on the adoption, I think that is phenomenal! You are people that fell in love with this child and wanted to give him the best future possible. Age doesn't matter. Be proud parents, and if other people are judgmental, that is on them. Don't let it effect you. I think it is fantastic. Some people just may not understand. There is no guarantee this child would have ended up with better parents than you, or younger for that matter. Hell, you don't even know if he would have been adopted at all, and could have ended up bouncing from foster homes the rest of his life. You guys are awesome!
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