Destiny - posted on 06/30/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )
I would first like to state that i have the most beautiful baby boy. He is wonderful in every way. I look at him and i know he is bright and will have a great future. But deep down i feel like i will get in the way of that.
I fight everyday to stay by my sons side. But everything that has happened to me,
My husbands abuse and infidelity.
My sickness and surgery,
And my live one passing...
I dont feel the same love i do for my son.
I dont have the urge to hold him. I want to take care of him, i really do but i cant stand to lie to myself. Im not meant to be a mother.
I shouldnt be running around aimlessly hoping that he will come out to be the best.
I am not designed for this thankless job.
My husband runs free while i spend my days cleaning dirty diapers and sulk.
I am selfish and horrible for feeling this way.
Is there anyway to get out of this feeling?
Before i give up on my son.