I dont know what to do about my step son!!

Marie - posted on 09/14/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I don't know where to begin! im just going to put it a lot out there. My husband has 1 child he is 12 he is the only child.. I have 3, 2 still at home 9-15. My step son is very intelligent and i don't mean school wise. he is very creative when it comes to art. he is mostly nice when he is with us. the problem is hes like that when dad is around. when dad turns his back he is mean! he tells my kids his life means more than there's..he black mail,s my son if he catches my son doing something we wouldn't like. then the day he goes back home he tells on my son only after he gets what he wants.Ever time hes hear he exspects us to buy him something.if my kids get something during the week my step son is up set how its not fair its not even, my husband will try to disapline him and my step son reasons with his dad and dad sees his point every time(gives up) and when dad turns his back my step son grins from ear to ear at me. things are also going on in my home with my stuff my new washing machine someone cut the rubber part..someone put marks in my new coffee table and someone cut the leather side of my brand new couch. he throws my out door cats over the balcony. He his highly motivated my bribery. he says he comes to our house to see my kids. he doesn't seem to have a relationship with his dad but loves his step dad. he is a spy for his mom and truly understand the concepts. my husband loves his son and wants to have a good relationship with his son but his son has no interest because his son feels there is nothing in it for him. we said we wanted to move out of state my step son told me his mom doesn't want us to move (im sure its because of child support). he says all he has to do is be sad and tell his dad how much he loves him and dad wont move. back ground on mother is.. she is clinicaly depressed,passive aggressive, will do anything to make her ex husband unhappy. his ex wife and there son seem to have a strange relationship they work together on playing games with people. my step son has no chores,he stays up as late as he wants. school says he is rude,disrespectful,no focus,doesn't bring material to class.every time my husband goes to the new school he has to proove he is the father,mother passes her husband off as his dad. i think she also makes up sickness for her son and over medicates him on Tylenol with Codine because she cant deal with him. I honestly think im dealing with a Naracissitic child. he cries when hes in trouble but as soon as you turn around hes just fine, i don't see anger,i don't true sadness. i don't see him as happy. its like he just walks the earth getting what he wants. every picture i have of him is the same look on all pictures. its like he does not know how to be happy. mother wont allow therapy. she has all control of medical records we cant get them because her husband provides it. the court says he has a right to his sons medical record but she never does or will. my husband believe's me and says hes like this because of his mother..but then on the other hand when his son is around i'm the mean guy and this kid is the best kid. mom also loves to schedule activities for there son on our weekend to have him. and she loves to do it on our anniversary and my birthday.I believe she is pulling parental alienation. My husband is an over the road semi driver he doesn't have time to deal with any of this. he seems to turn the other cheek and is able to tune out children behavior. he is eccentric behavior. I feel like im becoming a terrible person trying to find ways to run from this child but still be married. i think i have convinced my husband to leave the state. hes a good man and during the 2 weeks we dont have his son we are like a normal family..he listens to my kids,takes care of them when he is home from the road. no one fights. and he will disapine them with no problem. Hep!!

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Marie - posted on 09/14/2013

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You are absolutely right! And we did file a motion with the court. Then they gave her time to get an attorney. We did not have 1. And we got a letter in the mail to respond to her attorney and he gave my husband 2 days. He was in new york at the time. By the time he got home to respond. Her and her attorney had it dismissed. There county court house is run differently than my county. If my husband tries to work with her or call about s concern she starts yelling at him that hes harassing her. So I am the one that pick his son up for his visitaton. I am the one that has to get firm with her. She does not know me at all so she does not pull crap on me.I do know enough about fathers rights.
I guess i need to find a way to exist with this cold or move out of state.

Devon - posted on 09/14/2013

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I would say he needs some serious therapy but it sucks that the mother wont let him. Sounds like the mother uses her son as a weapon and because he lives with her he is mimicking her behavior. I think maybe a court hearing is in the making. Start to keep records of when you guys get him, what she says, etc etc. as for your husband, it sounds like when his son is there he just doesn't want to deal with the confrontation and gives his son what he wants to keep him happy and that's not good at all. He needs to start talking to his son more and putting his foot down. good luck and hope it gets better

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