I dont know what to do with my daughter.

Nancy - posted on 12/07/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am 31 years old. I am having alot of problems with my 16 year old daughter. She just dont want to listen to me. Then I just found out that she is going to have a baby. And she told me that she dont want me involve with her and her baby. Because she said that she dont want to live with me anymore, and that she dont need me for nothing. She is always disrespecting me. I just dont know what to do.
I mean I already took her iphone, her ipod, and everything else that i could and i have grounded her. still nothing phases her. It is effect my other kids too.

Now with the baby because she told me that she dont need or want anything from for her and the baby. I really dont want to help her because I want to teach her a lesson. But I dont want to see here to fall face.

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Corenna - posted on 12/07/2014

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Im a young mom so Im not gonna pretend that I know what your going through but what I would do with my daughter is let her know I love her no matter what and if she ever needs help that I am there for her, but making a baby means you no longer get to be the child and its time to step it up and prepare for your own baby. I would step aside and let her realize how tough life really is and when she does fall on her face she will come back and want your help and you will be there to help pick up the pieces. She will appreciate you a lot more. I remember being that young and just wanting to cut the ties to my parents and feel like I am my own person.

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Lacer9975 - posted on 12/08/2014

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I was kind of worried about the entire thing. I've never worked from home, But Yeah, I did just join and all is good. so I will post back how it goes!

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Raye - posted on 12/08/2014

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As teenagers, kids think they already know it all. She will have some hard times ahead of her, and she will have to learn to grow up and take responsibility. You can help her by being there for her, but, as Wanda pointed out, if you try to push too much she will just push back all the harder and you may lose her completely from your life.

When you talk to her, tell her that she is not a disappointment to you, but the situation she got herself into is disappointing because you realize how hard it's going to be for her and the new person she's bringing into the world. Don't put her down or make her feel bad for the mistakes she's made. That's the past, now, and can't be undone. Make your conversation about the future. If she has it all figured out, ask her to explain it to you so you understand. If she can't explain, then tell her you want to help her figure it out, that you have more experience for her to draw from. Try to stay positive.

Wanda - posted on 12/07/2014

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Sounds like she thinks she knows it all, so leave her be. Step back a bit. The more you yank her leash the harder she will pull. She's 16. Her mind frame is not that of an adult so of coarse she's not making a whole lot of sense. Corenna is correct in letting her know you love her. One conversation won't be the fix. Actions speak louder. We often want to help our kids, but to them it is controlling. Wait for her to come to you for help. And when she does, don't throw it in her face, rather give her some loving advice, not judgement and I told u so.
I think often as parents we forget that we do not own our children. When we disrespect them we get disrespected. The fact that she is pregnant can't be undone. Perhaps this could be the beginning of a differnt relationship for u too. But guide it to that instead of fighting her and making this a bad experience. Shes gonna have a lot of questions and concerns when that child comes. She will need her mommy.. Hope that helps and best of luck to u and ur family.

Dove - posted on 12/07/2014

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Or... forget everything I just said and seek counseling together. She may have a lot going on in that head of hers and desperately need your love and support now more than ever.

She's 16... and she's pregnant. That isn't a good situation on any level.

Dove - posted on 12/07/2014

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She doesn't want to live with you and she doesn't want to listen to you... does she have somewhere else to live? What does she own that YOU paid for vs. what does she own that she paid for (or received as a gift from someone not you)?

Honestly... I think I would pack up everything she owns that you did not pay for, set it by the front door, hug her, and wish her luck..... Now, I absolutely would not be throwing my 16 year old out, but if she wants to act like a grown up then she may need a harsh wake up call on what being a grown up is really all about. If she doesn't NEED you... let her prove it. Does she have a job and a place to live and a means to support herself? How does she plan on providing for the baby?

Perhaps take her to a homeless shelter or something for teen mothers and let her see exactly what her life could be like if she continues on this path of thinking she knows all.

You can absolutely still help her, but she desperately does need to learn a lesson here... and fast because she's about to have another little life dependent on her and that baby does not deserve to suffer for his/her mother's immaturity.

Nancy - posted on 12/07/2014

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I have done and told her everything that you have said. She dont care she always expects me to clean her mess. and I am tired of it.

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