i dont want my 3 and 4 year old to meet my husbands new friend.

Brenda - posted on 09/18/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




okay so my husband left me and my 2 kids back in june... long story short he is now living with his co-worker the girl he had an affer with . she told me in june that they have been together for a year. my husband is a compulsive liar so i dont trust him .. tell me if im wrong for saying this ... my kids are 3 and 4 and i am not willing to allowe my kids to meet her ... i think if he is still with her when they are bigger and they understand whats going on and they would like too meet her then its there choice. i do not want them to have any contact with her specially since she is the person he left us for ,,, note she has two kids of her own and she is still leagally married to her husband... i told him just couse her situation lets youl live with them is all find and dandy dosent mean that our situation willbe the same now is it wrong of me to tell him i dont want my kids around her,,, i dont think its fair to them ...


Gwen - posted on 09/19/2012




What Dove said. That's one of many unfortunate effects of separation and divorce; you can no longer control what the other person does in their home on their time. If he wants to introduce his girlfriend to the children, unless she's some kind of sexual predator or violent criminal, there's probably nothing you can do to stop it. Likewise, if you decide to start dating, your ex will not have any say in your relationships either.

The kids have the right to a relationship with their father and theirs is different then the one you had with him. They do not understand lying, cheating, home-wreckers. He did not cheat on them, he cheated on you. While the "other woman" is the enemy to you, they will see her as "daddy's friend." You can't let your negative feelings and resentment prevent them from having their own bond with him.

Find a good attorney, and do the best you can to establish a reasonable custody and visitation agreement. Try to focus on the important issues like does he take good care of them, does he provide financial support, etc. You will be dealing with him for at least the next 15 years, pick your battles.

Dove - posted on 09/18/2012




If he is living with her you may not have a say in whether they are around her or not. You can see what happens in court, but they have a right to a relationship with their father and this 'woman' is a part of HIS life so very well may be a part of their lives as well.

I'm sorry. It sucks and it hurts and what has happened to you and your kids should happen to NO ONE, but you have to take this up in court and see what happens. Get a good lawyer and they will tell you the best way to pursue this.... and what your chances of keeping her away while still giving him his access are...


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