Sam - posted on 04/09/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
My daughter was not allowed to date for the time being because she was caught sending inappropriate pictures on her cell phone. At the time she was 14, she got her phone taken away and grounded for quite a while. I explained to her why this was wrong.
Fast forward one year, she came home with hickeys on her neck, trying to cover them with makeup. This reinstated her ability to date. I told her if she wants a boyfriend, there's going to have to be more respect to all involved, and I will not have her walking around with hickeys all over her neck. Again, grounded, limited free time, etc.
One more year, guess what. She's been dating the kid who put the hickeys on her neck and for the past three months she's been sneaking him into her room at night. She lost her virginity to him and swears she's going to marry him. I told her she can't see him anymore, but it is making both of our lives absolute hell.
I feel like if I give in and let her date him, which would be the easy route, I'm condoning what they did. They both disrespected my rules and my house, and just letting it fly - I wouldn't even be able to face myself in the mirror.
I also feel like if I don't give in, I'll be pushing her away from me and closer to him. Every step I take is with her best interest, but she thinks I'm just trying to ruin her life. I know she can't look at it from my point of view until she's been in my shoes, but she is now depressed and has a funky attitude. She is making everyone in the house miserable.
She had big dreams for herself and since she's been "dating" this kid, she has scaled back her dreams of going to college abroad and doing all of these big career things to going to a local college and being at his beckon call. She' talks about the house they're going to live in and what they're going to name their kids.
I'm so worried about her, I feel like it is making me physically ill.