I feel like a failure of a mom and my daughter is making everyone in the house miserable

Sam - posted on 04/09/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughter was not allowed to date for the time being because she was caught sending inappropriate pictures on her cell phone. At the time she was 14, she got her phone taken away and grounded for quite a while. I explained to her why this was wrong.

Fast forward one year, she came home with hickeys on her neck, trying to cover them with makeup. This reinstated her ability to date. I told her if she wants a boyfriend, there's going to have to be more respect to all involved, and I will not have her walking around with hickeys all over her neck. Again, grounded, limited free time, etc.

One more year, guess what. She's been dating the kid who put the hickeys on her neck and for the past three months she's been sneaking him into her room at night. She lost her virginity to him and swears she's going to marry him. I told her she can't see him anymore, but it is making both of our lives absolute hell.

I feel like if I give in and let her date him, which would be the easy route, I'm condoning what they did. They both disrespected my rules and my house, and just letting it fly - I wouldn't even be able to face myself in the mirror.

I also feel like if I don't give in, I'll be pushing her away from me and closer to him. Every step I take is with her best interest, but she thinks I'm just trying to ruin her life. I know she can't look at it from my point of view until she's been in my shoes, but she is now depressed and has a funky attitude. She is making everyone in the house miserable.

She had big dreams for herself and since she's been "dating" this kid, she has scaled back her dreams of going to college abroad and doing all of these big career things to going to a local college and being at his beckon call. She' talks about the house they're going to live in and what they're going to name their kids.

I'm so worried about her, I feel like it is making me physically ill.


Dove - posted on 04/09/2013




Invite him over for dinner. Take a major interest in him and his life... to the point that you seem like you are trying to make him your best friend. Let them be together, but with you around.... all the time. ;)

Either he will get sick of you being involved and he'll ditch HER... or you can get to know him and hopefully find out what she likes about him and see if he's not all that bad after all.

That's the first thing that popped into my head, at least. My oldest is 11 and my 'instinct' would be to lock her up until she's 18, so I don't really know what I'm talking about. lol

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms