I feel like I am going to have a complete breakdown......over my son's sudden death

Tanya - posted on 07/08/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 26 yr old son died 2 years ago completely unexpected of what the dr's say was an enlarged heart. I won't go into any details of my suspicions (I feel there was much more to his death than that, even foul play), but, I feel like I have been holding my grief in for way too long. Of course, after the initial call from the hospital informing me of his death, I broke down for days upon days. I feel so guilty now 2 yrs later because when I have a thought of him, I have to quickly erase that from my mind so I won't end up sobbing uncontrollably. I feel like I am about to explode and need to let this all out once and for all. I am so afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop-ever! I don't have any pictures or momentos displayed in my home because I can't bear to look at them, fearing a breakdown. What can I do? I sometimes feel I will forget memories of him if I don't let myself think about him, but, this is killing me

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