Dawnette - posted on 05/29/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )
I'm new here, and really need advice. A little background. When my daughter was 3, she was alone with her father on new years eve, she and her father called me. I could tell her dad was drinking, and this is a major problem. I acted cool. Soon as we got off the phone, I drove 2 hours to pick her up, called the cops, they couldn't arrest him for drinking but he did have a warrant for his arrest for not pay DUI fees. The cops told me to file for custody. He left her alone with broken glass in the house when the cops showed up, and she shied away when he went to reach out for her. Very strange. I filed for custody the next day. I've have full custody for 7+ years now.
Her father has never paid child support, owes me a very substantial amount of money. He has since had two kids, is a stay at home dad. He is allowed to see her every other weekend, for 1 month in the summer, and we alternate spring break and winter break. He hasn't gotten her on the weekends ever. He tells out daughter it's my fault, that I won't let her see him. This is a major lie. He only gets her on breaks, so 3 times a year at most.
When my daughter is there, she tells me he sleeps half the day, and she is "mom" to her 2 younger siblings. She says the dishes pile up, and don't get done for a week. Also that her room and other rooms in the house are piled a high to the bed of garbage, clothes and junk. It is apparently absolute filth there. When we talk on the phone to try to pick a date to met and exchange, somehow every time, he tears me down, tells me I'm evil, the worst mother, and person in the world. He's insane. His family has told me he's lost his mind, gone off the deep end. I've done everything for my daughter, I'm a good mom, I just spent $2,000 on a down payment for her braces. I'm a single mom going to school for nursing. Everything I do is for my daughter.
her father and I cannot talk without him telling me how bad he thinks I am EVERY TIME. It's getting so ridiculous. It is in our custody order that he is not allowed to drink with her around. Apparently he quit drinking 5 years ago. I still don't trust him. I feel like the environment at his house is just so terrible, dysfunctional, and filthy literally, I can't let her go there.
I don't know what to do. I'm at the point, I don't want my daughter going over there. She came back with worms once, another time, a fungus growth on her head. I'm at the point where I'm not going to let her go over there anymore. What do I do?!
Soon as I get some extra $ I am going to try and change the custody order to supervised visits only. Please, some advice would be appreciated.