I feel like I just can't win

Tessa - posted on 05/19/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hey all, I'm new to the group. I woke up feeling crummy after a weird day yesterday, and I realize that I need to make some new friends. I need to get out more but I don't know how to do it, being a single working mom...
I just started a new job with my company and I couldn't be happier. It's interesting work...it pays more than enough (for once!!!)...and it looks like it's going to open a lot of doors for me. I hadn't expected to change jobs so soon, but it's just how it worked out.
I had moved to the southern Maine area, last summer, for work; I left my friends and family behind and there are some days that I miss them a whole lot. But at the same time, there were few opportunities back home and I would never get ahead. We've been mostly happy with the move, but we have our days.
I am finding that in situations like this, where there is a lot of change, you really can discover who your true friends are...
Sometimes I feel like I have "friends" who are punishing me for being successful. If only they could walk a mile in my shoes (divorced from an abusive husband, struggled from job to job, broke as hell, etc etc) and then try to tell me what I am doing is wrong.
I guess it just goes to show that sometimes people can be really rotten to each other. I suppose this is more of a rant than anything.


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Candie - posted on 05/19/2015




It sounds like you've made some really great choices for your family. Those choices aren't always the easiest, but that's what makes you strong. I know moving can be a difficult adjustment and I remember feeling a little lost, wishing that my old life could still be part of my new life. It's hard to let go of the past and move forward; it takes time but, you can do it. *Hugs*

~Candie~ with an -IE

Raye - posted on 05/19/2015




You have to have a faith in yourself. You can do it. And you will. Your "friends" who are abandoning you probably don't understand, and are probably too wrapped up in themselves to be a good friend to anyone. I'm sure they're not perfect, either, so they should be more supportive than just focusing on what they think you're doing wrong. Many people have different parenting styles, different life goals, etc., so what's wrong for them may not be wrong for you. Don't let them discourage you.

With summer coming around, it's a good time to get out to parks and meet other people. I don't know how old your kid(s) are, but maybe get them involved in activities, like swimming lessons, where you can socialize with other parents. Just don't be afraid to start talking to people. You will make new friends.

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