Queen Of My - posted on 10/24/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
Before I even begin, I want to acknowledge that I understand that I am over dramatic and I have a habit in "making mountain out of molehills"(as my dad would always say). So please don't hesitate to tell me if I am way off base here - I often need that. There is a huge backstory here so I apologize in advance for the novel I am about to write. Well here it is:
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and almost three years ago got married and two years ago had our second child.
The year before we were married we were going through some drama - and were close to calling off the wedding - just the pressure of our first child and buying our first home and planning our wedding was a lot. But we got through it and I married the love of my life and life was great!
Fast forward to the birth of our second son (one day short of our first anniversary). Well I had a stressful pregnancy and felt the whole time like my hormones were off. More than average but I never looked into it. At the time he was born, my mom an stepfather were having a bunch of drama. My step dad said some rude, racist and threatening comments about my husband and when he was confronted, basically started WWIII.
Bla bla bla, I will spare you all the details but it got bad - after months of tension, my stepdad was threatening to kill my husband. Told several people he hired someone to kill my husband, was on facebook threatening to report me to CPS for abusing my kids (which is so way off - you don't know me so I have to say that but anyone who knows me knows it's a joke). This started in March 6 weeks after the birth of my son and by summer - he and my on were fighting constantly and one night he got really, really drunk and held a BB gun to her head and threatens to shoot her. She got scared, called the cops and pressed charges. Later she tried to drop them but the prosecutor would allow it (as most abused women will later regret pressing charges).
So I am dealing with this. My baby is going on months and months of not sleeping. I am completely exhausted. My mom is calling me crying from work everyday because of new threats, she is scared, he won't let her into her house to get his stuff - etc. When I do get to sleep I am having dreams of my house being set on fire and all my doors and windows are boarded up, or bullets going through my windows, or someone shooting my husband in the back and he turns around and he is holding my children.