I feel like i'm not stimulating my son enough.

Nikita - posted on 10/07/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Any ideas on what activities i can do with him? That cost less to no money at all. Hes 20 months. I'm pretty broke and the father of my son doesn't think he needs anything. I dont have much money and i cant afford toys or anything and most of his toys are for older kids that his dad found at his friends places. A new toy would be great or something that is age appropriate. I'm a single mom and raising my son alone.I can barely afford new clothes for myself and my son...And it seems like everything costs money. To join events i need to pay a fee, or need bus fare. I'm singing with him, taking him for walks, i just feel like i'm not giving him my all. I read to him but after i'm kinda like there has to be more i can do...I"m just drawing blanks and i have googled things but i dont get much without having to pay fees.

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Nikita - posted on 10/07/2012

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Thats an awesome idea. I never thought to check out the library. He loves bubbles, my sister would let him play with the soap bubbles when doing dishes, and he loved it. But he started to eat the bubbles so we kinda stopped letting him. hahaha...



When i was pregnant with my son. I seen a lot of parents indulging their children with toys and games. I always told myself that i wouldn't do that. I'll give him what he needs and just try to make sure hes having fun. I would rotate his toys in his toy box so when he got bored of one toy he had the other that he forgot about and its like new again. If he would get bored of it and just leave it alone, it only took me to play with it and him watching me that he would become interested again.



I think my ideas on motherhood is key on why i feel like i'm not doing enough. I cant afford much and going back to College in January. Times are rough right now, as i am on social assistance. His father works part time and is incredibly spoiled by his parents. He gets money from them to help with our son and our son sees nothing. Hes 34 years old for crying out loud. So i'm doing almost everything on my own. I just feel bad when other kids have nice clothes and cool toys. And my son has a stick and a rock in his hand, and pants that are starting to look a bit short on him. I'm still wearing maternity clothes as well. Which makes me feel self conscience when i go out.



I just never wanted to be a mother that couldn't provide. But i will provide, its just incredibly hard right now. I haven't got Gst, or CTB for the past two months and dont get much for rent. My mom helps me out a lot but i just feel like i'm not in control.



My days consist of me and my son, i'm starting to feel like i'm not enough and what he has isnt enough. Hes young and i think i'm putting to much worry into what he doesn't have. I was a pretty simply person before. Material things didn't really bother me. I didn't care. But now i feel a huge turn in how i feel about what i have and don't have. :( ....i'm just...mixed with a lot of emotions and thoughts...

Belinda - posted on 10/07/2012

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Can you get him to a library? Most libraries (in the U.S.) have story time for children, and as they get older there are often crafts involved. You are doing a great job with your son! He is learning to enjoy himself and playing (learning) from his environment, He is not dependent on "toys".



You could also fill up the sink and put a chair in front of it for him to stand on, then get some of your kitchen utensils and measuring cups - no knives of course- and stand with him while he has fun.

Nikita - posted on 10/07/2012

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He plays with everything. I got him markers, the little egg easy to hold ones, and he threw it down the toilet and we were without a toliet for a week lol. He plays in our cupboards and i just let him go to town in there. He has legos which i'm scared he will choke on. So he doesn't really play with them yet.



I guess i'm just feel like i'm not doing enough. But after reading your ideas, i'm already doing most of those things so i guess i'm not that boring lol. I just feel like i'm not doing enough. I'm sure a lot of mothers feel that way. I guess with his father out of the picture i feel hes lacking something. There is a void with him and i'm sure its because his dad is gone.



He eats and puts everything in his mouth as well. He eats leaves and puts rocks in his mouth. He eats the sticks and lays down in puddles. I let him explore a lot and go nuts. But when at the beach he ate so much sand it came out in his poop. I just feel he needs more. Not more to eat he eats a lot lol but more stimulation...hahaha



Just last month I joined this group Momstown and they wanted a fee of 20-40 dollars, i was going to pay it. then a day later after filling everything out. They closed down. I was like darn! It looked like a fun group too. I search for play dates and groups i can join and i'm not finding much when i search. Most are not free, and most are across town. But i will continue to search. I have too..This little dude needs some dates :)

Ariana - posted on 10/07/2012

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I'm not sure if they have this type of thing in your area but where I live they have early years centres which are free programs where children under the age of six can play.



Otherwise I guess I'd have to ask what you do have? My son would play with water bottles, paper towel rolls (once all the paper towels are gone), sticks/rocks (although maybe rocks for a 20 month old not the best idea), flowers from outside. Go to the park with him, that's always free. I would go to the mall and into a bookstore that had a little kids area. Young kids make pretty much anything a toy.



You can check out the dollar store to see if there are either toys or possibly to buy some paper and crayons (make sure he doesn't eat them). You can google 'crafts for toddlers' or try to find some paint. You can make your own playdo/bubbles from recipes online. Stuffed animals can be pretty cheap and you can play a variety of games with them.



there's also good old fashioned 'chase the kid' around the couch, or hide and seek (usually at that age they hide under a blanket giggling hysterically while you 'look' for them).



Have him cook with you, let him play in the laundry hamper. Get him a box. I know it's a cliche but they seriously love boxes, especially if you push them around in it. Draw faces on toilet paper rolls. There are lots of things you can do. Let him play with pots and pans.



Kids that age don't know if they've got a lot of toys or not, you can make anything into a toy pretty much.



Good luck to you!

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