I feel like Im abandoning my daughter by going back to work

Nellie - posted on 08/05/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter is almost 14 months old, and I just got an amazing job offer and am writing an exam today. If I pass, I got the job. It's a great opportunity, 40 hours a week, complete health and dental plans, regular promotions ans raises. But I don't want to go back to work. My daughter has been on the waiting list for a top of the line daycare for a while now, and I picked this daycare because they have the same beliefs I do as to how to take care of children, and I know that it would be so amazing for her to be in a top-of-the-line daycare, interacting with other children, routines and schedules, lots of structured play, all the good stuff. I know that it'll be good for her, and I know I have to go back to work...but I just want to grab my daughter and hide in a corner away from the world and keep her to myself forever. I know that I have more issues being away from her then she does being away from me. How do I deal with all these feelings?


Claire - posted on 08/09/2011




I wish I could help you more, but I've been there. Going back to work is not easy. I went back 3/4 time with one job and a freelance job on the side. It was pretty stressful for me. After a year of VERY stressful jobs bouncing around our family, we are finally in a position where I can stay home and raise our kids with occasional freelance work fit in. It works well for us, but I would probably have a serious meltdown if I were in your position. If you feel that this is the best course for your family, go for it and rip it off like a bandaid. If, after a few months you realize it's not what you want, you can always go home and squeeze your baby girl :) You can also ask your pediatrician/OBGYN for suggestions on separation anxiety.


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Randi - posted on 08/09/2011




Don't feel bad! It's good for you and baby! I went back when my daughter was 4 mos old. I missed her terribly at first (you will), and I still do every day. But, she comes home doing sign language and at 24 mos they start teaching her Spanish too! Things I couldn't do myself. And her interaction with other kids has increased 10 fold. And, honestly? I'm happy. I'm not stressed at the end of the week and need a break... I'm ready to spend the entire weekend loving on her and going to museams and teaching her even more! It's hard, it won't be easy, but you can do it and make the best of it! It's all in the attitude! It will be a good thing for the two of you if you let it be!

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