I feel like my child is outta control

User - posted on 03/23/2014 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I have disciplined to the point to where there is no more things to take! I have taken all electronics including internet. She is not allowed to leave the house without permission! The only thing I have not done is her not going to her grandparents! Do I need to add more chores or something or need to make a wake-up call to her! I just do not know what to do! Now she is talking about not going to school on tomorrow! She is my only child and I have no idea why she would act like this

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Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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Not necessarily but it could be a factor. It could also be that she is being 12 and she could have seen other kids act this way to their parents too and is trying it out to see what she can get away with. But when a step parent comes into a family, it seems rare from other questions I have seen on here that the step parent and bio parent who live with the child sit down and come up with a plan on how the rules are to be applied, what part the step parent has in discipline, and so on. If it is set up in the beginning before the marriage takes place and the kids know what page everyone else is on, it might make a smoother transition into a blended family situation.

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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Well, it could be a lot of things. If you have only been with her in the last 2 years as a step parent and then the duration before as her father's girlfriend/fiance, she may be testing the waters as much as she can. You have to realize she has up until you came into the picture grown up not really having known her own mother or known a mother figure so much. This is new to her too and she is going to test you. She might figure that since you are not her mother in any sense of the word other than a step parent, she thinks she does not have to listen to you. Also take into consideration if it has just been her and her dad since she was a baby, that can play a lot into it. She may not be used to sharing him with someone else. She may feel a bit of abandonment because she has to share time with him with you. Her world has changed a lot since she was little and to have it change again is hard on a kid even at this age. My own kids have had to deal with not one step mother but two. Its not easy to go through changes and then even add in step siblings to compete with for time with their own father who seems to think more of his own step kids than the ones he has biologically. You guys need counseling.

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User - posted on 03/23/2014

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I honestly love her like I would my own kids if I had any. She is a good kid when she wants to be but now it just took a change since we have moved to a different house

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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I will talk to the counsollor tomorrow but I will have to call her Nana in the morning to get her to go to school because she is only listening to her Nana. I completly see what you are saying. She could be feeling like I have taken her dad away from her!

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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She was fine with it at first then it became jelously over her dad, so her dad had a talk with her! After that she was fine for a while then all of a sudden we made a move and she started acting up like this

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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Actually I am a step-mother to this child! Her daddy has full custody! Her mommy left her as a baby, so she is not in the picutre

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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It might be time to go to counseling with her and see what is going on. Is her father in the picture? ARe you divorced and who has custody etc? Are these other factors that are going on?

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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About a month and she has not quit behavior at school has not changed at all! She acts different in different places when were at her grandparents she acts very respectful then when we get home she is a completly different child

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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How long has this been going on? THere has to be something that triggered this. Have you talked to teachers at school to see if beahavior has changed there?

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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Does she have friends at school she could be learning this from? At this age they do try to push the boundaries once again.

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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No I do not let it get her way with it she gets diciplined every time she does do something wrong, but I do not know whether I should whip her or not. MY parents think she is to old for that and if I do whip her she whines to her grandparents and they nag at me for it. I do not know what else to do

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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And how has it gotten to this point? Have you allowed her to have her way to this point?

User - posted on 03/23/2014

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She is not listening to me! She is also cussing me and saying she is allowed to do whatever she wants. Disobeying me and not wanting to go to school. She thinks she is the boss in the house

Ev - posted on 03/23/2014

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Act how? How old is she? And what has she done to have all the stuff taken away?

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