I feel like my son hates me...

Bridget - posted on 02/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son is nine years old and i feel like he hates me. I am exhausted beyond belief at what i can do to try and make things better and nothing seems to work.
He resides mostly with his dad, while there he is entertained with video games. His father has bought him every game console under the sun along with all the accessories and games that come with it. He also buys him the latest in electronics, ipod, iphone, you name it he has it. He also can navigate the computer better than most adults I know.
Heres my problem, I live with my sister and her 4 year old and newborn. When my son comes to visit there is no video games and the tv watching is limited. We encourage them to play amongst themselves and to use there imaginations. We also try and do things with them to keep them occupied. With my sister having a newborn it gets difficult to go out and do things all the time...and honestly money is tight. But nothing seems to be good enough for him, everything is "wrong" according to him. He rarely plays with his cousin, and wants almost nothing to do with me or my sister. He makes rude comments under his breath and when asked what he said he gets all defensive and yells "nothing" at you. Just this morning my nephew was wanting him to play with him and my son told him to shut up and leave him alone...and he just wanted to go home and go back to his life. I am so beyond frustrated. I don't know what to do. I have tried talking to him. Even yelling at him nothing seems to work!!!
I know his dad is alot to blame for the behavior, he uses video games and electronics as a way to not have to deal with him. I feel like he is ruining my child tho!!! HELP!!!!


Dove - posted on 02/17/2013




He doesn't hate you. He's just a budding preteen boy caught up with being spoiled rotten by his father in an attempt to buy his love. At least that's what it sounds like. I'm sorry you are both caught up in that.

Maybe you can find some common ground with your son. Something special (that doesn't cost a lot... or anything) that the two of you can do alone together when he is with you.

Keep your rules and consistency, of course, but try to be patient and remain calm. 9 year old kids don't 'typically' enjoy the company of a 4 year old, so expecting him to just play with his cousin isn't exactly realistic. A little bit, sure, but certainly not all the time.

Sorry. That's all I've got.

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