I feel my boyfriend doesn't like my daughter. what do i do?

Jasmine - posted on 07/20/2016 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost a year. i have a three year old daughter. I feel like he doesn't like my daughter because of some comments he makes. For example yesterday we were at the store buying milk for my daughter and i wanted to buy her some new bottles. so i went to the bottles section for kids and started looking for some and was asking for his opinion but he got mad. he kept telling me to hurry up and he said "If we were looking for stuff for our own child i would have more patience." I told him what he was really trying to say. but he didnt say anything. i told him if he doesnt like my daughter or get along with her then we are going to have a problem.
He also has a little sister the same age as my daughter. We go over to his house and my daughter and his sister play and of course they are kids and fight at times. His sister hits my daughter and he says nothing. but when my daughter hits his sister he yells at my daughter and says shes a bad girl and what not. I asked him once if he didnt like my daughter and he answered "it's not that. its just that your daughter is hard to handle and its hard to get along with her." Yes my daughter can be a rebel sometimes but shes barely 3!
what should i do? How do i end this relationship? Should i give him time? Help!! I need advice!

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Dove - posted on 07/20/2016

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I would never, ever date a man that didn't like and accept my kids 100%. I casually dated a guy for about 2 months that had an issue w/ my son's (2.5 at the time) intense attachment to me... our relationship never would have gone anywhere. MY kids are MY responsibility to be raised MY way... and if you don't accept that completely... move along.

That's my opinion anyway. I'm all they've got. How screwed up would it be to be w/ someone that made them feel anything less than the awesome kids they are?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/20/2016

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You should leave his ass, that is what you should do. He doesn't like your daughter, then he has NO BUSINESS being with you. Move on.

Lynzee - posted on 07/21/2016

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Dump and move along...first and for most...kids are #1 priority boyfriends come and go but kids are for life!!!

Michelle - posted on 07/21/2016

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I agree with everyone else.
I did date a guy for a while until he said that he hated my (then) 3.5 yo!.
That was the end for me. My Husband loves my 2 from my 1st marriage and he will do anything for them. He is a better role model than their own Father and they love him as well.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/20/2016

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No man is worth choosing over your child. He obviously is not father material for your girl, and may never be.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/24/2016

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Keep it simple. Ask him to meet for coffee or something like that in public. Do not have your daughter with you in case he makes a scene. Simply tell him that this relationship is not working and you want to break up. Leave it at that. Walk away. Be done. Don't discuss. He will give you every reason to stay and try to make it work. If he does any of this, just tell him you don't love him. Don't drag your daughter into it.

Michelle - posted on 07/23/2016

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She's only 3 so it's not as if she's a teen making sure she doesn't get close to him. A 3yo will get close to anyone if the adult lets them.
You are right to break up with him. You will find the right person that will accept your daughter as his own and will then look back and know you made the right decision.
He's a grown man so stop feeling guilty about hurting his feelings. If it was meant to be he would have made more of an effort with her at the start.

Jasmine - posted on 07/23/2016

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Little Miss,well i have decided i want to break up with him but i dont know how or what to say. I know i will break his heart i know he loves me but if he cant love my daughter then it cant work. I talked to him about wat he said nd he said that he wouls try to get closer to her. He says shes the one who is hard to handle it doesnt let him get close to her i told him well its prob cuz she feels u dont like her.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/22/2016

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Jasmine, how are things going? Have you decided what you are going to do? Have you talked with him yet?

Zoe Van - posted on 07/21/2016

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I too agree with everybody else. My daughter is the most important part of my life. If I had a boyfriend, the 1st qualification would be he'd have to pass my daughter's approval.

Nadine - posted on 07/21/2016

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If he cannot respect the time and effort you put into being a mom, and made it very obvious that he does not because the child is not his, time to move on. Step-parents can be a wonderful addition to a child's life, if you are going to bring another man into her life, make sure he is one of those.

Jasmine - posted on 07/21/2016

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Jodi, as in bottles i meant cups for toddlers. I just call them bottles. But no dont worry they are not baby bottles. But thanks for worrying.

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2016

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I'd be VERY wary about this relationship. It sounds like he isn't ready to be a part of your daughter's life, and may not ever be. You are probably wasting your time and energy on a relationship that is unlikely to work out. Your daughter has to be your priority.

I am also going to add, even though you didn't ask.....isn't 3 a little old to have to be buying bottles for? She should be drinking from a cup at this age. You are not doing her any favours buying her more bottles.

Maria - posted on 07/20/2016

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have a conversation with him really do ask him if he cares for your daughter and tell him how important your daughter is for you.because that little daughter is a part of you.then you can end it very calmly,i suppose.

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