I found pot in my 12 yr old sons room and I need advise on how to handle this

9 Comments

View replies by

Angie - posted on 07/01/2012

254

28

25

totally depends on where you want things to go from here....have you had ongoing issues or is this something that has totally taken you by surprise?

If this is 1st time, then it's time to have a sit down heart-to-heart and see where you get from there.

If this is ongoing and have exhausted your talks, grounding, etc, & you are now wanting juvenile to get involved, you need to leave it where it is, call the cops and show them where it's at. If you hand it over, it breaks a "chain of command" thing that makes it hard for them to do anything legally about it.

12 years is young and hopefully you can get him/her to a better situation soon :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/01/2012

21,273

9

3058

I would not use the word snoop at all. It will make him feel like he cannot have any privacy at all. I would just tell him that you have been concerned about him, bla bla bla. You will know what to say when it comes time to talk.

Cindy - posted on 07/01/2012

5

0

0

I know he will probably accuse me of snooping, but I thought to say that I have the right to snoop in your room when I feel that your health and safety are in danger. Because I have been suspecting something was going on for a bit I just couldnt find concrete evidence. Thats the only thing I can say I guess

Cindy - posted on 07/01/2012

5

0

0

I think the 2 days have helped because I definately would have yelled the first day. Now I hope to have a calm conversation with him instead of a confrontation. It is summer here now so he doesnt get the opportunity to show me his grades improving so I was just going to ground for 2wks I guess and monitor from there I guess. He is my only child and I really didnt want to have to go through this he is a funny, cute kid I dont know what happened.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/01/2012

21,273

9

3058

He is going to try to deflect the whole conversation because you invaded his space by going through his stuff. That is a tricky point to handle. If it was not hidden, and in a typical spot that you have access to, it will be easier to avoid.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/01/2012

21,273

9

3058

I think it is good that you have time to process the whole thing before he comes home. I cannot say I disagree with taking his door of the hinges, that is something I would consider doing also. I would seriously sit down with him and have an adult discussion about this, and ask him why he feels he needs to do it. Also try to find out how long he has been smoking pot. I think I would not let him out with his friends unsupervised until his grades pick up, but right now it is summer where I am.

Cindy - posted on 07/01/2012

5

0

0

Well he went away camping with his friends family and when he was gone I was cleaning his room and found some pot and some lighters in a hidden area that I just happened to come across. He hasnt come home yet so I am dealing with it for 2 days so far I have cried, became angry and now have anxiety to the upcoming conversation I have to have with my son who to me is still my baby and I think he is way too young to be doing this. I am going to ground him and take away computers for him to talk to his friends, but I was also thinking removing his door to his room because privacy and trust is something that is earned and he can get it back after I feel he has earned some trust back. What do you guys think of that idea? Because now that I have had 2 days to think about I starting thinking of all the weird behaviour he has showed lately always on the defensive when I ask him questions, his grades dropped in the last term and he is constantly in his room with the door closed.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/01/2012

21,273

9

3058

It would take a long time for my kid to earn my trust back if I found pot in there room at such a young age. Mind you I am not against pot, but that is way to young.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/01/2012

21,273

9

3058

Wholly crap that is young. I think the best thing is to just sit down and talk with him. Of course you are gonna have to ground him, and figure out if the group of friends he hangs with is appropriate, but I would really try to avoid yelling. He is not going to listen. Talk to him about your experiences, and explain how at such a young age it is very harmful to his growing body. What a tough situation. How have you handled it already?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms