I get irritated when someone tells me how to raise my 2 year-old.. is that bad?

Alejandra - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




Hello everyone!
Here is a small intro about me, I´m a 22 year-old mom I´m married and we have a 2 year-old, we live at my parents because my job its 10 minutes away and my mom takes care of my son, my husband and I both work from monday to friday, so we leave 6.30 am and we get back home 6.30 pm.

So I need some advice, 2 days ago I had a huge argument with my parents because my son had a tantrum (it´s always the same at eating time) and he hit me in the arm although I do not know if by accident, my husband got upset so he went upstairs, scoled him and gave him time out, then suddenly my dad said to me: "you see what you´ve caused" and my mom: " he shouldn´t scoled him" and then they started bombarding me, saying that we are not taking good care of our son and that's not right what we do, he just needs attention and that since my mom takes care of him 80% of the day, who really educates him is she, I obviously got angry because I would love staying at home with him everyday, but I also need to work, We always take time to share with him during bath time, play, eating together at bedtime, and almost every weekend we go to the zoo, the carousel, the go karts or the park. I understand that they love their grandson but I can´t understand is why are they complaining about how we raise him I love my parents but I believe is not of their business, what do you think?

I know its a little long sorry!


~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/22/2011




No one likes to be told how to raise their own child. But the way I see it, you only have a couple of options:

1. move out, and have your mom sit while you are at work still, but getting her out of your personal time with hubby and the kid.

2. Move out and send to day care, but have a stranger spend more time and have to pay.

3. Sit down and talk as a family how YOU and your HUSBAND want to raise the child.

4. Deal with it, you are living under their roof rent free, and babysitter free.

All around you do not have the best choices, but I lived with my in laws with my son for a year while we were transitioning from one state to another. It sucked big hairy sweaty balls.

Katherine - posted on 07/22/2011




It's very difficult when your parents are watching your child because then they think they have rights on how to raise them.

My mom does the same thing and I'm in the same situation as you. Going through a divorce, living at home and my mom CONSTANTLY tells me how to raise my kids. I can't stand it.

But right now I'm not in a position to move out. We fight all the time about this. I can't stand when she tells me what to do.

Amy - posted on 07/22/2011




Unfortunately if you're living with them you are going to have to just grin and bare it. When my parents come visit or I go there they like to say it's ok if the kids stay up late or get away with stuff. As grandparents they already raised they're kids this is there time to spoil and enjoy and then give them back. I lived with my inlaws pre kids and although we saved money I hated feeling like it wasn't my own space and felt like if the tv in our room I was imposing on them.
I would sit down with them and let them know how much you appreciate them helping watch your son but when you and your husband are home you will discipline your son and if they can't respect that you will start looking for an apt/house.


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/22/2011




Ahhhh....Katherine, you just shed so much light on your binky dilemna....yup......now I know why you are stressing. It is really hard being thrust back under our parents thumb after living our own independent lives. As much as I love my mother, I could NEVER live with her. I would rather move back in with my in laws!

Kelina - posted on 07/22/2011




So i think you need to sit down with your parents and get on the same page with discipline. Obviously the two of you discipline differently and you need to get on the same page or youll confuse your little one and allow him to play you against eachother. The other thing is whether you like it or not, since she watches him during the day while you work and you are living ing her house it is her business. That's like saying here, watch my dog during the day. by the way, you don't have any say in what you do, so you can either do it my way or not at all and then come home to the pillows chewed up and dog doo all over the floor. Yes i am comparing your son to a puppy. Developmentally they are in the same stages and will be just as confused if the two of you are treating him differently. Ultimately it is yours and your husbands decision BUT she should have some say in it too unless you're planning on moving out and finding a daycare. Something I would suggest is sitting down and finding out what she thinks is appropriate discipline, and calmly explaining that while you understand she loves him she can't let him get away with everything. He needs to learn the same lessons you did and see how that works. Good luck!

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