I get it! Social Media is important to teens ... but what about me?!

Melanie - posted on 10/07/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I knew having a teen would come with challenges and I read the books about how to manage this new relationship between mother and teen daughter but I'm having a really hard time implementing good practices. I don't like being ignored for text messages and/or social media. It drives me crazy and I want to rant and rave but from what I read, that is not healthy or productive. What do I do??? I feel like my 15 year old is running the show. Anytime I even mention backing away from screen time I am told that she needs all of this stuff for studying, etc. I get that, but where do I draw the line? Why am I scared of her???? Should not it be the other way around????

The other thing is we never talk at all anymore. About anything other than what she needs from me; and I don't know how to change that cycle.

I'm sad and angry pretty much all of the time these days. I feel guilty and stupid. I feel like I've given up everything throughout the tender growing up years (like friends, my own social identity, going out, engaging even with my husband) for nothing. I now am stuck with no friends and what feels like no daughter. It's very pathetic and I wish I could figure out how to fix it.

Any advice?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/07/2015

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Well, for starters, you take the phone, and you shut down the social media. YOU are the parent, and YOU have to be in control. Parental controls on the computer, and you can request that the phone only have text, if that is your wish.
Enforce house rules! (implement some if you have none). Rule 1 being that the phone is NOT priority when the kid walks in the door, and her FIRST responsibility is to her duties and chores, as well as to her mother/parents. If she doesn't wish to comply...guess what, she doesn't need the phone!!! We all know that no one has died for lack of electronic devices...
As far as communicating, mother/daughter days, spa time, lunches...those are great tools to keep communication open.
Stop letting your daughter walk all over you. Take back your home.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/29/2015

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Just letting everyone know, when it says "bump" by another member, it just means they are bumping the post to the front page due to all the spam blocking the feed. It is not rude, or being rude. Quite the opposite.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Teresa Ann - posted on 12/28/2015

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Melanie sorry to hear you are going through this. There is a way to set healthy boundaries. We teach people how to treat us including our kids and she doesn't have to be afraid of you to respect you. She may not like the changes at first but you are not trying to be her best friend.
1. Set time limits for social media, tv, games and such.
2. Plan some interactive Mother daughter time. (you don't have to spend money to spend time) search Google for free things to do.
3.I have found as I have gotten older my friends come from many different places and are of many different ages. Find a community group (offline) that is of interest to you and engage! Mine was volunteering ;-)

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