Emma - posted on 02/19/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )
I divorced my husband four months ago, and moved back home to Edinburgh, Scotland (from Stockholm, Sweden) with my three years old daughter. But my daughter is being a nightmare.
For the first month of us living here, she spent at least six hours a day either screaming her head of or crying her eyes out. She would phone my ex-husband and just sob for about an hour on the phone to him, and refuse to eat anything that he said you couldn't get in Sweden. Someone suggested that if I enrolled her in nursery, she might calm down.
So I did, and she screamed and screamed for the entire of the first day, and the nursery teacher had to get me to home and get her only half way through the school day. She went in the next day and since then has refused to speak English to anyone except my mother despite the fact that her English is just as good as her Swedish.
I then introduced her to my boyfriend, and she screamed and screamed and scream for three hours without a break. She then phoned her Dad and told her my boyfriend had hit her, even though i never left him alone with her at all and he 100% didn't.
So, after two months of this constantly her Dad asked if he could look after her full time for a while, just to see if she'd be okay with just him. And she was! He acted just like she did before we got divorced. She stayed with him for 4 weeks and every weekend I went to see her, and 2 of them I even brought my boyfriend, and she didn't bother in the slightest. She cuddled us both and spoke in English and was completely normal. She even ate haggis!
Anyway, after four weeks I took her home again, and she was exactly how she had been before in Edinburgh. She's been back for a month now and there has been no improvement on her behaviour, so my ex-husband wants to have full custody of her, and he's said he will go to court for it.
Obviously, I don't want this to happen, so I went to my UK solicitor and spoke to my Swedish solicitor, and they both said I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of keeping her if it goes to court and then going to court would be a complete waste of time, energy and money. When I asked if it would be different if I moved to Sweden, my UK solicitor said he didn't know because it would go through Swedish law. My Swedish solicitor said it makes no difference, I've already proven that I am unable to look after her as well as my ex-husband can.
So, next week I'm having a meeting with my Swedish solicitor, ex-husband and his solicitor to write up an agreement that will mean that my ex-husband will have full custody and I will have unrestricted visiting rights. And so I went to my mother, sobbing my heart out about it, and she told me it was my fault for being such a slut, and getting married at 18. (I'm 23).
So I really need some support from someone. My boyfriend left me because he couldn't deal with my daughter, and my friends over here just don't understand.
I have nobody.