I got a 3 year old Autistic kid (Asperger) and up to this day I am still having problems with how my parents want me to take care of my son (Because Sadly, I still live with them)

Jennifer - posted on 03/22/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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The thing is that, I am the kind of parents that is hard on my son because I want the best for him in other words I am sometimes a little harsh when it comes to discipline because when I was younger I had to take care of my niece who is now 22 and my nephew who is 17 right now.



Whenever my son has an tantrum, it is mostly with my parents and they find the easy way out by giving him candy when I have told my parents countless of times that my son can't eat a lot of candy (He starts twitching). Also my son behaves bad with them whenever he can but when it comes to me, he listens to me, he doesn't have much tantrums because he knows that I'll ignore them (Whenever I ignore it, it ends in less than 2 minutes next to my parents that goes for more than a hr and he ends up taking his pants and pee'n all around the house).



Yet whenever I appear in the picture (after my parents have made my son mad), I am the bad mother for been harsh with my son and sometimes ending things fast for him while they can't do any of that.



Also when they are taking care of him, they have an tendency of fighting right in front of him, smoking and drinking and I am TIRED of telling them to please do that somewhere the kid doesn't see them to the point that when my son knows they will fight, he goes to our room and turn on the TV and closes the door.



In six months I will be finally out of my parents house but I have talked with my husband about an important topic and that is; Should we let my parents take care of him? They already spoil him enough whenever we aren't watching but they hate to have him whenever he has an tantrum and also, they don't give him the GABA or DMG when they are suppose to and my mother wants me to stop giving him the Natural Vitamins even though they have noticed the big changes that my son has done (which are good).

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Tabitha - posted on 03/22/2012

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With any child(regardless of special needs), if your parents aren't going to follow your instructions and wishes regarding his care then they shouldn't be watching him. Also, they're fighting, drinking, smoking while caring for him and they use to beat you? They shouldn't be alone with him if that's how they're going to carry on. Make other arrangements for his care and just bide your time until you're outa there. 6 months isn't that far away.

Katherine - posted on 03/22/2012

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Ok, I misunderstood. So you're in a rough situation and they really have no business undermining your authority. What I actually did with mine was go to counseling. It seems like this is going to be a battle and that might help you. At least you'll have a third party. It's helped us a lot.



I had to move in with my parents because my husband gambled all of our money away and I had a newborn. I didn't work for 2 years while he did. Now we are separated and he doesn't give me a dime. When he left he left me with NOTHING. I just got a part time job, if that's what you want to call it. I work 8-10 hours a week.



Anyways......try the counseling it may just be something all 3 of you need. Bring it up to them. I'm sure they'll agree because they'll have so much to say. They sound JUST like my parents: Self -righteous. And everything you do is wrong I bet.



Sorry about the ranting, I just know how it feels.

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Jennifer - posted on 03/22/2012

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The last sentence didn't meant that I will give up my son, I was talking about my son visiting them from time to time. I am afraid to even stay at my parents house even now that I am due to economic problems because my parents have never been good ones, mine beat me up, never took care of me so that they could go to the casino and forced me to sometimes stay in the lobby of the Hotel until 4am knowing that I had school the next day.



I can't work due to my pregnancy because it is an delicate one and I have to stay on bed until I give birth but with all the stress that I have been having and all the none stop fights with my parents I am even worried that it does something wrong in my second pregnancy. My husband is leaving for bootcamp soon (Navy) and I was told that for now the best thing I can do is stay with my parents so that they can have an eye on me if anything bad happens.



Also to point the other thing out, I am tired of telling them how I am taking care of my son and that they should respect and still, they go against what I say or do.

Katherine - posted on 03/22/2012

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Do you WANT to give your son up? Seems like you feel defeated and he IS your son. Do you both work? Because if you do then that's why they have so much control. I have the same problem with my parents. Nothing I do is ever right when it comes to my kids.



Sometimes you HAVE to put your foot down. Pull them aside one night and tell them how you want it to be. Also join this community: http://www.circleofmoms.com/autismasperg...

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