I got a DUI and my son was in the car. Does anyone know what will happened?

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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I had two drinks and I got pulled over I know it was a bad thing for me to do but I'm so worried now that they may charge me with child endangerment and I don't know what they will do to me or my son..I wouldn't handle it if they try to take custody away from me. Does anyone know what the consequences are..I trully regret it and now I wish I could turn time back but I can't so I need peoples advice..Please

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Lisa - posted on 09/26/2009

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I have been a legal secretary in Fairfax, VA for the last 13 years so I have seen a lot of DWI cases. It definately depends on where you live but also what your BAC was the night you were arrested. Although you may have had only two drinks and didn't feel drunk, if you are too past the legal limit the Courts will stick it to you. You will most likely have your DL suspended or restricted for one year and they will definately send you to classes if you're convicted. Instead of going to AA meetings you shoud look into alcohol abuse counseling and many times they are offered through the County you live in and are County approved. Most States have an alcohol program that they require all their DWI and Possession Defendants to complete as a part of their probation and yes, you will definately be on probation for at least a year. Along with attending the State's program, they will assign you a probation officer of some kind who will do an assessment on you and based on your answers to his questions together with your BAC level, he will require you to attend a certain number of abuse counseling sessions prior to the expiration of your probation. Make sure when this time comes, you tell him that you never drink and it was a going away party for a friend you will never see again, just make it sound good because it will be hard to justify why your child was in the car. See if you can find out if your County has a program and they should point you in the right direction on County approved counselors but you should definately go ahead and start counseling not only for substance abuse but also get yourself enrolled in parenting classes through your County. MOST IMPORTANTLY, get a good lawyer!!! Call the Court and speak to the Clerk's office then ask the Clerk really nicely (make yourself sound as pathetic as possible) who the best DWI attorney is that appears in that Court. The Clerk will definately know who he or she is and get his or her number ... I seriously doubt if they will take your child but your life is going to be really tough for at least the next year because of this. Its not only going to drain emotionally but be prepared to be drained financially. You are going to face serious consequences no matter what but a good attorney can really make the difference (ie restricted license vs. suspended, suspended jail time instead of actually serving time and maybe a reduction of your charges in exchange of you entering a program). ALSO IMPORTANT, get in touch with Social Services and/or Child Services and get some advise on what you should do and what parenting programs you should get into right now!!! They should provide free legal counsel so that might be where you start with questions on being proactive. Any free legal counsel working for Child Services should have experience in these type of matters and can give you some good advise without costing you more money. Good luck and you have my sympathy but don't worry about custody and you should be okay ... like I said, they won't take your son but they are going to make it really hard for the next year and you will be jumping through some hoops to keep them satisfied. Take care!!!

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009

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I have a lawyer already and she just told me that they will most likely add some jail time but I could work for it instead of doing it so that's good news..I have to take AA classes because I got the DUI so there is no way out of it..thanks to everyone that gave some advice I really appreciate it..

Sandra - posted on 09/25/2009

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They will also speak with your daycare provider, if you have one. As well as his Pediatrician. I am surprised they did not have family services remove him on the spot. Usually, if they feel a child is in danger, they will involve social service a.s.a.p. But, I would consult and attorney. Did they pull you over for speeding, and find out about the two drinks after pulling you over?

Lisa - posted on 09/27/2009

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Sorry Katie, I can't really agree with you. Do you know this information first hand cause if your don't, you shouldn't scare her. If this is your first offense and you have no priors, get a good lawyer but I can't see then taking her child out of the house and they will go there and observe them together. Call the free legal counsel thats affliated wtih Child Services, he should be able to tell you exatly what will happen and what you can do to make it better. The girl Stevie is talking about had a few priors and then didn't stay in compliance and broke probation by giving a bad drug test ... she was an idiot, you do everything they tell you to do and complete by the deadlines that they set.

Stevie - posted on 09/26/2009

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It makes me sick to say that I work with a girl who just went through this same situation, she had two beers supposedly hours before driving and got pulled over. It was her third DUI, but her first with her two kids in the car. I am not sure what they did to her about the DUI but I do know that child services visited her a few times, and drug tested her twice. She FAILED BOTH times and they still just closed her case. Too bad really because I think her kids could have definitly benefited from a few services that they sometimes recommend. It is hard to tell what they will or won't take your kid over. And it also seems to vary according to where you live. Good Luck.

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26 Comments

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Katie - posted on 09/26/2009

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I really hate to say this, but they prob will charge you with child endangerment. And I can also tell you that dhs will prob get involved. Not only will you got to court, but there is a good chance that you could lose your son. The only thing I can tell you, is, you may want to talk to your family about taking custody of your son. (They can always give it back once everything is settled and the court says its ok) That way the dad can't get him. (I really don't see the court giving a dad like that custody) But you don't want him in foster care. I really hope that everything works out and that this helps you.

Stephanie - posted on 09/26/2009

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It also depends on the state law and the judge over it. Call a lawyer its your best bet. You can go to jail for DUI 1 but most lawyer can get it reduced. You might also have a fine, community service and classes to attend. The judge in this county is very strick and doesnt reuduce it down to PI. It just depends

Cristy - posted on 09/25/2009

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I would recommend being proactive and I do mean RIGHT NOW! Having worked with child protective services in Oregon, you can imagine how many parents choose to wait to see what will happen. Talk to a lawyer and get his advice.

I would recommend talking to child protective services to see if they can recommend a parenting course. Taking one that they recommend will go a long way with them. I would also suggest starting a 12 step program as well. Being involved actively with these will prove to the courts you are taking your role as a caring and protective parent very seriously and will not likely to re-offend.

However, your chances will not be very good at all if this is NOT your 1st offense for anything alcohol or drug related.

[deleted account]

Definitely GET A LAWYER! and not one from a TV commercial. Ask around, someone has to know a VERY GOOD lawyer... they aren't always cheap, but having someone in court with you that knows what is going on is to your advantage.

Robin - posted on 09/25/2009

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The laws are different depending on where you are from. It is, in Fl anyway, 1 year your DL is taken from you, 6 mths to a year community service, you must impound your car for I think 7 days, you will have to do AA class' and take a drivers class, and they will charge you with child endagerment not doubt about it. It's a good thing you have an attorney. I would look into parenting courses now b/c the state will probably tell you to take them and it would look good and in your case might be needed its not a bad thing but you made a bad choice. I hope this helps

Mel - posted on 09/25/2009

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good luck hun, its all good advice and i woudlnt have a clue what will happen, i am sure very little since you only had 2 drinks, but i am going thru some things right now with my daughter trying to work out whether child protection can get involved. so its hard to know what they consider bad enough to take a child away, however i have heard that they have to have a very very good reason

Melissa - posted on 09/25/2009

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u got really great advice! the moms here are awesome!! be strong my friend it will turn out for the best... and on my behalf thnx to all the mommy's for the advice she needed that, she really is a GREAT! mom, its just human we all make mistakes and learn from them and im sure this was a reality check and it wont happen again. :) xoxoxo mel

Nichole - posted on 09/25/2009

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Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you. Sometimes things happen for a reason we don't why, but it does. But you know what you have to do and I am quite sure it wont happen again.

Sharon - posted on 09/25/2009

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Unless you really have an alcohol addiction - do NOT go to AA meetings.

PLEASE talk to a lawyer and find out what your best course of action is.



I'm afraid that you attending an AA meeting will add fuel to the fire and 'say' you have an alcohol addiction.



IF you do have a problem, by all means attend. If you've been using alcohol to cope lately, then go to an AA meeting.



But other wise do not do anything but consult a lawyer.

Debora - posted on 09/25/2009

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I AM VERY SURPRISED THEY DID NOT CALL DPS AND ASK YOU IF YOU HAD FAMILY TO BRING THE CHILDREN TO UNTIL COURT.IF I WERE YOU AFTER TALKING TO YOUR LAWYER I WOULD GO TO AA SINCE WHEN YOU GO AA YOU CAN ASK FOR PROOF FROM THE ONE RUNNING THE AA MEETINGS FOR YOU TO TAKE TO YOUR LAWYER TO USE ITS PROOF YOU DO CARE AND ARE SEEKING HELP.SINCE YOU ARE ARE FAMILY MEMBER OF A FORMER DRINKER AS WELL.THEY MUST HAVE SEEN SIGNS OF DRINKING OR SOMETHING THAT GOT YOU PULLED OVER.THEY WILL SPEAK TO YOU THE CHILD `S DR.BABYSITTER,SCHOOL IF THEY ARE OF AGE ABOUT YOU.

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009

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Thank you very much and I will do my best to be a good mother to my son I'm all he has so I have to set a good example for him. I know I made a mistake and I'm paying for it now I have to deal with the consequences.

Tanya - posted on 09/25/2009

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I think you made a very bad decision... Having said that I wish you the best and all you can do is be the best Momma you can be here on out you owe it to your son mostly.. You need to have his best interest before yours always!! I hope all goes well for you.. I know here where I live you probably at most would get some visits from CYFD (child services) if this is your first incident with a child.. You will have to prove you home is safe and everything around your son is safe you may have to do some parenting classes or something of that sort... I'll keep your family in my prayers and hope that your son is with you because I believe he should be with you and his family but I hope you put your sons best interests at heart from now on...

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009

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I have learned my lesson and regret it trully. I'm willing to do what it takes so that my child stays with mommy. Thank you for the advice.

Sharon - posted on 09/25/2009

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DANG - talk about screwing the pooch.



You don't need this forum - you need a lawyer.



At best you'll have to prove you're not a drunk, and you'll have to prove you're a good mom. Child services will most likely be involved to do frequent checks on your son.



I haven't had a drink in so long, but back when I did - I never drove, not even after one drink.



It wasn't a mistake. It was monumentally stupid, compounded by the fact you had your child in the car with you. That is the way the courts & police see it legally.



You don't need this forum, you need a lawyer.



At worst you'll get hammered with a fine (no traffic school) and your child will temporarily be taken from you.



Jail time for a first offense is RARE to NEVER occurance.

Kristen - posted on 09/25/2009

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They normally want to keep mother and baby together so i dont think your son is going anywhere unless you already have some other form of child endangerment on file. odds are they might make a couple of home visits, make you take alcohol classes and parenting classes. as long as you cooperate they will see you have nothing to hide and it was truly a mistake. Good luck!

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009

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I have talked to a lot of my family members already and they are willing to go to court and make statements on my behalf. I just can't imagine my son away from me. I just recently got seperated from my husband so I have been going through a lot lately.

Marian - posted on 09/25/2009

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They could charge ya w/ child endangerment, but you did put you kids in danger. even 2 drinks dramatically slows your reflexes, even though you may not think it does. the good news is that if this is ur 1st offense, it is highly unlikely that ur kids will be taken away. My mother is a social worker and has made it very clear that family services do NOT want to separate kids from their family. if there is one piece of advice that I can give you, it is to DO WHATEVER THEY TELL YOU TO DO...COOPERATE everything should go smoothly. I hope you have learned your lesson and will NEVER drive with kids in your car after you have been drinking. Good luck.

Kellilynn - posted on 09/25/2009

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Hopefully everything works out for the best, but at the same time expect and be prepared for the worst. Start talking to family and friends and see if they'd be willing to make character statements about your ability as a mother. Most likely Child Services will get involved due to the fact that you got a DUI with a child in the car. Stay strong but be cooperative!

MELISSA - posted on 09/25/2009

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I'm very coorapetive with the court. I'm a single mom and I don't want them to give my sons father the cutody because he's a drunk and a druggy that's why I left him. Trust me I'm willing to do anything to prove to the court that I am a good mommy..thanks for the advice

Raynae - posted on 09/25/2009

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They probably will charge you with child endangerment and also SRS could get involved and monitor your parenting skills with house visits and things. You could be going to court to prove you are a good mom. Make sure this does not happen again or your child will probably be gone, or maybe given to a family member. If any of this happens my advice is to cooperate with them because uncooperative parents are usually bad parents. Hope everything works out for the best!

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