I got pregnant by a guy who was my boy friend at the time. 2 weeks after he got me pregnant i broke up with him. 4 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I notified him and he told me to not talk to him about. I told my parents and then called my exs father about it. I was living in North Carolina and had to move up to Minnesota with my parents. I was very alone. My ex lived in North Carolina. He didn't speak to me until I was over 4 months pregnant. The only reason he spoke tip me was to get me to put the baby up for adoption. A week before the baby was born the father of the baby called and told me there was no reason to come and be there when the baby was born. He didn't want me to use his last name on the birth certificate. Then he told me that he is having no part in this and that I should put the baby up for adoption. Then a day or two before the baby was born the father called and told me he wanted to come. So he came and stayed with my family for 4 days and then left and went home. The baby is 2.5 years old now and has probably seen him 10 days of the baby's life... He hasn't seem him since April 2011. He told me he wanted to be art of the baby's life. I've asked him when he is coming and he always is having to work, or his parents have to come. He says he's coming soon. I get upset with him and then he says he's not coming because I am being uncivil. Can anyone help me? Advice??? I can't take this anymore. It's destroying my life, I'm only 25 years old. He is off living on his own and has a girl friend while I live with my parents with my baby. My parents treat me like a child and monitor everything I do. It's just not right!

Lissa - posted on 11/22/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I got pregnant by a guy who was my boy friend at the time. 2 weeks after he got me pregnant i broke up with him without me knowing I was even pregnant. 4 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I notified him and he told me to not talk to him about. I told my parents and then called my exs father about it. I was living in North Carolina and had to move up to Minnesota with my parents. I was very alone. My ex lived in North Carolina. He didn't speak to me until I was over 4 months pregnant. The only reason he spoke tip me was to get me to put the baby up for adoption. A week before the baby was born the father of the baby called and told me there was no reason to come and be there when the baby was born. He didn't want me to use his last name on the birth certificate. Then he told me that he is having no part in this and that I should put the baby up for adoption. Then he told me he never loved me and that he was going to find someone else to marry. Then a day or two before the baby was born the father called and told me he wanted to come. So he came and stayed with my family for 4 days and then left and went home. The baby is 2.5 years old now and has probably seen him 10 days of the baby's life... He hasn't seem him since April 2011. He told me he wanted to be art of the baby's life. I've asked him when he is coming and he always is having to work, or his parents have to come. He says he's coming soon. I get upset with him and then he says he's not coming because I am being uncivil. Can anyone help me? Advice??? I can't take this anymore. It's destroying my life, I'm only 25 years old. He is off living on his own and has a girl friend while I live with my parents with my baby. My parents treat me like a child and monitor everything I do. It's just not right!

4 Comments

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Tara - posted on 11/23/2012

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I have to agree with the other ladies. It's definitely time to move on, get on with your life, get a job/education, etc and get out on your own.



The reason he keeps "coming back" and saying "he's sorry" is he is probably scared sh*tless that you will get a child support order and he'll actually REALLY be held responsible for his baby. Every time he does this and you say "Oh, it's okay, but this time you really need to be in the baby's life" he breaths a sigh of relief and says "Yay, I'm not on the hook for support again!"



Go after him for support, tell him if he's serious about being in your child's life he can talk to you about a visitation order, and then get on with your life.

Lissa - posted on 11/23/2012

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I guess what's irritating is he always comes back telling me he is sorry for what he has done and about how much he misses the child and longs to see him.

Jodi - posted on 11/23/2012

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Is he paying child support to you? I agree with Nikki, you need to move on, get a job and move out, but you should also get a child support order. It takes two people to make a baby, he should take on some of the financial responsibility. But if he chooses not to visit his child, that's his choice and you can't control that. So there is no point getting upset over something you have no control over.

Nikki - posted on 11/23/2012

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I think you need to move on. It's pretty clear this guy is not going to be a stable influence in your child's life. Instead of letting it hold you back move on with your life, get a good job or and education so you can move out of your parents and be independent. Once you move on and create a positive life for you and your child you will be happier and you could meet someone that is willing to treat you and your child with love and respect.

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