I hate how some people are always making mistakes, and everybody else has to pay for it.

Emilie - posted on 06/28/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husbands little sister is 20 years old and just found out that she is 4 months pregnant with her 3rd child. She has a 4 year old that has been being raised by my mother in law ever since he was born. She also has a 22 month old and he has never really had a real home. She just goes from place to place living with everybody else and when she wears out her welcome she moves to somebody elses house. She has been doing this for about 11/2 years now. She stayed with my husband and I for a while and wasn't working and she does not get child support for either child. My husband, My mother-in-law and brother in law is always the ones buying her baby diapers and clothes, she dropped out of high school and has gone back twice now to get her GED and has dropped out both times. She supposedly had an IUD and it mysterously vanished and now she is pregnant again and her BF broke up with her before she found out she was pregnant. So now she is going to have 3 kids by 3 different guys and no child support and no GED and no future for herself or kids.

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Amy - posted on 06/29/2011

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Emile no one has to pay for it unless they want to pay for her mistakes. Based on what I read your MIL is enabling her and as long as she continues to enable her your SIL will continue to make poor choices because she knows that someone will be there. If you don't want to participate let your husband know that you are no longer willing to support her poor decisions. Its unfortunate that there are now three children who have been brought into this world and are being raised by mom who isn't ready to be a mom.
Honestly if she doesn't have a permanent residence and just hops from house to house and can't provide for the kids I would think child protective services may be able to intervene. But if you're going to call and try and have the kids taken from her I would hope that someone in the family would be willing to take the kids in and raise them and then maybe she could look into adoption for the child that hasn't been born yet.

[deleted account]

There's a reason I'm against sex outside of marriage.... ;)

Sorry. The situation that your SIL is in really sucks and shouldn't have been created, but until your MIL decides to give her some 'tough love'... she'll probably never change. Unfortunately, you can't control what another person does... all you can control is your reaction to it (advice I've been giving out a lot.... just gotta learn to live it myself. lol) and you DON'T have to be a contributor to this situation.... though I'd always be willing to help out those kids if it could be done w/out aiding the destruction of thier mother.

Kayla - posted on 06/29/2011

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I actually have heard of the IUD, vanishing. My friend who had two children and was on her way to divorcing her husband decided to have an IUD put in and 4 months later her husband and her decided to stick it out and stay together. One month later she found out she is pregnant with her third child and the doctors were not able to find the IUD. I don't understand how that is possible but I know my friend and she really was not wanting any more kids and was even thinking of not keeping this one. She ended up deciding that God had other plans for her. Now about your sister in law. Someone needs to sit down with her and have a serious talk! She needs to quit being co-dependent on other people, because that really is no way to raise children. May be she needs to go to a shelter for awhile. I know that sounds bad but that is what they are set up for and they are made to help women make it on there own feet. Otherwise she is just going to be a leech and try to feed off of other people and she will probably try to use the kids to continue to do that.

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Emilie - posted on 07/01/2011

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I Just found out that she has not told her ex that she is pregnant and doesn't plan on telling him. And her and her whole family is forbiding me to tell him. She doesn't want him in the babys life and doesn't want any child support from him. That would be fine if she had a really good job and could support herself and the kids, but she don't and she can't and that means that we are going to be supporting this child as well. I mean what can we do? We tell her stuff, but she doesn't listen and she blows all the money that she does have and then doesn't have money for diapers. We can't make the baby go with out diapers. There has been times where she has to go with out wipes and powder and diaper rash cream though.

Emilie - posted on 06/29/2011

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She was 15 whengot pregnant with her first child. We was all trying to talk some sense into her, such has having an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption. But her mother babys her and didn't let her give up the baby or have an abortion. And now everytime something comes up her mother babys her and lets her do whatever she wants.

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