I hate the child I'm carrying.

Alice - posted on 03/06/2014 ( 44 moms have responded )

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I'm currently 3 months along and hate being pregnant. I hate this thing inside of me. I hate my husband for doing this to me. I've stopped believing in God and want to have an abortion so bad i can't stand it.

I never wanted children, I don't want this thing that has disrupted my life and causes me immense pain every day. I no longer enjoy sex, I can't sleep, I don't want to eat. All I want to do is get rid of it. I lay awake at night staring at my ever growing stomach thinking of ways to abort it without anyone knowing.

I hate that muly husband doesn't have to give anything up. He doesn't have to feel any pain, lose sleep, give up his body, or support a leech he doesn't want. Babies gross me out and I don't see them as miracles.

I just my body back. I want my life back. I want it just to be me and my dog again. I don't even want my husband any more. I know this isn't normal. I know I'm totally screwed up in the head. I'm so afraod of will happen. I hate this thing so much I can't stand it. I dream of ways to abandon it and even kill it. I'm a pshycopath and a terrible person. Why would anyone want to harm a little baby, or be resentful towards something that I've create? What is wrong with me.

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Guest - posted on 03/10/2014

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You have up to 20 weeks in almost every state in the US to get an abortion. You are well within that range, so why don't you go get a legal abortion? It is much safer (both medically and legally) than trying to abort it yourself, and it is much better for the fetus/potential baby to be aborted before it is born, rather than being abandoned in an unsafe place or killed after birth.

The child is in YOUR body, so it is YOUR decision. While I don't think I would ever have an abortion if there was a chance the father wanted the baby, I respect your right to that decision, and your friends and family should respect that as well.

Honestly, I think the reason that you haven't gotten the abortion and are hesitant to do so is that you DO think somewhere deep down that you might want to keep the baby and that this is just a hormonal pregnancy depression. Of course, no one can know that but you. I think you need to speak to a mental health professional who can help you sort through your feelings and make the decision that is right for you.

Sunny - posted on 06/21/2014

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Alice, my name is Sunny and I am from Australia. If you want then I am ready to adopt the unborn baby. If you agree then I can talk to you over the phone to discuss further.

Wendy - posted on 02/08/2015

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hi, firstly i would like to say thankyou to those on here who are kind, understanding and non-judgemental, however... there are some very sickening and cruel comments that have been made and im disgusted to find that alice and myself have attempted to reached out for help and find answers just to be judged by others which defeats the whole object of these sites.. mothers if you do not have any genuine and helpfull advice to offer or feel the need to pass judgment and insult people without knowing the person and their situation.. you SHOULD NOT voice your opinions on here.. please keep them to yourself because they can cause damage mentally and emotionally which could make things a lot worse for the person asking for help and potentially affect the persons decisions or well being of mother and baby.. if you dont have anything nice or productive to say then shut up!! as its not for you to judge.. no parent is perfect, we all make mistakes (even you.. self riteous, think you know it all mothers) people are entitled to have feelings regardless of what they are.. just coz u dont understand the person doesnt mean that the person it wrong or needs to grow up or seek mental help!! its you that needs to be more understanding and open minded, plus some of you who are already mums should know better not to treat people like that and be more understanding no matter what.. as thats part of being a mum.. to understand, care and not judge others. come on.. it sets a bad example to you children on how to be intolerant of other thoughts and feelings... what about when you were pregnant and had fears, insecurities and stupid questions, you had someone there to put your mind at ease so why should me or alice be robbed of that?

to alice... x
im really hoping not to sound cliched but i completely empathise and understand how you feel as i am in a very similar situation and feel exactly the same as you do.. please ignore all the self- righteous mothers' comments on here as they're rude, unkindly writen, judgemental and lack understanding of your feelings and situation. there are a few options available that you can discuss with your GP but it does come down to morals and what you really want, the only thing i can say is whatever you decide make sure its 210% what you really want as there is no going back after, nevermind what everyone else says or wants as its you who has to be happy and live with whatever you decide. you are not a bad person just because you feel the way you do.. dont let anyone tell you any different or make you feel bad for being honest and asking for help..and everyone feels different about children and pregnancy there are not set rules on how you should feel and act, always be honest with yourself and GP as this will help you to make a final decision.. plus if you dont acknowledge those feelings then they cant be addressed which means they wont go away..(i speak from personal experience on that one) so ignore what people said about blame and growing up as you have a right to feel like that.. seeing as the bloke gets an easy ride and the woman has to do all the leg work.. it is natural for a woman to resent her bloke for that and anyone who says they dont even a tiny bit is lying. if things arent going well between you and hubby it just escalates the feelings and situation, tbh i would go and speak to your GP about what options you have concerning the pregnancy and find out as much info as you can on it all before making a final decision(obviously) and decide on what you want to do about you marriage.. i can really appreciate that its a lot to think about and ive no doubt your head is in a spin at the moment and may want to hit a big red stop button and make it all go away..(i know i do) but the best thing you can do right now is try to simplify things as best as you can to help make your decisions easier.. I only wish i had an instant solution or answer to both of our situations but i dont and im deeply sorry as its no help to you or myself but i had to write this to let you know that you're not alone and that there is someone thinking of you and how you feel xx i came on this site looking for answers, comfort or reassurance and was hoping to connect with someone who feels the same as me.. ive yet to find answers, but i discovered your story, which has given me a glimmer of hope and some small comfort in knowing that i am not alone or the only person that feels this way, i hope that you will be able to find the answers and comfort you need and the happiness you seek whatever you decide to do.. knowing that i am one less person in this world that wont judge you that really does understand and care. wishing you all the best.. jae xx

Jodi - posted on 03/08/2014

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Alice, I think you need to calm down. The point everyone is making is that it isn't JUST his fault and to go around blaming him is not only going to ruin your relationship together but is also extremely unproductive in resolving the situation. You need psychological help, and to be able to move forward, you ARE going to have to accept 50% of the responsibility for this situation. Instead of finding fault and placing blame, you need to decide on what you have to do.

You are 3 months along - you still have some choices. Talk to someone to work through those choices, but stop with the unproductive blame game because that's not getting you anywhere. This is the point in life where you need to grow up. Right now you are acting like a 13 year old having a temper tantrum because she didn't get what she wanted, and I'll be honest, it's not a particularly becoming trait.

Junkheaddemo - posted on 03/10/2014

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You need help immediately. Please do not do what "guest" said and abort your child, place it for adoption if you do not want it! Your hormones are no doubt raging and making these negative feelings worse. Your baby can feel stress and is impacted by it greatly. Please seek psychological help, this baby is in danger, and so are you. Regarding your husband, isn't he available to talk to? I suspect that before this pregnancy you were not in the best place emotionally or mentally, but this baby shouldn't be put in the middle of it. I'm sorry you are so upset right now, but if you get help soon, things could really turn around for you.

44 Comments

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Alyssa - posted on 05/13/2017

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Aww this really hurts to hear. I understand where youre coming from this being your first but it was all in Gods plan. I was 20 when i had my first my parents put me down about keeping it. But the child was mine made from my dna my blood i couldmt resist. In time you will feel more blessed than you realize. Your life will change immensely but that is motherhood we5 give our sacrifices to our kids. Your mother birthed you without any complaints. Good luck with your pregnancy.

N - posted on 01/29/2016

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The comments made by "kendra uselto" SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THIS SITE! These are the kind of users/comments that destroy forums like this.

A FEW POINTS:
- This is a WOMAN LOOKING FOR HELP and you just MADE HER FEEL ASHAMED. How dare you?!?! If you had an issue and were seeking help, would you like to be verbally assaulted for it?! It's disgusting behavior.
- By shaming this woman and refusing to help her, you may be pushing her over "the edge"...whatever that may be. YOU DO NOT KNOW HER. You don't know if she's suicidal or on the edge of break that could cause her to hurt herself of others...AND YOU MADE IT WORSE!
- THIS IS CYBER BULLYING!!! No question this is exact kind of behavior people are so up in arms about to protect children and teens and you are perpetuating it. You are your children's teacher and role model...is this the kind of person you want them to become??? Nasty, judging, critical, patronizing, antagonistic...all while bragging about her own happiness and success...serious??? Would you WANT YOUR CHILD TO READ THE REPLY YOU LEFT? At any point in their life? I doubt it.
- YOU ARE VERY LUCKY...you had an experience that has graced your life and made you more whole as a person. NOT EVERYONE IS THAT LUCKY!!! Your comments are the EXACT REASON this woman feels the pressure she does to feel "perfect" and be ashamed to seek help.
- You don't know the details of this woman's childhood, marriage, past relationships, her full health status or history, if she has financial worries...You know nothing! Other than that she is seeking help and you just pushed her further down instead of lending a hand to lift her up.

Finally, if you are so upset by this, why would you not speak encouragingly, lovingly, supportively and attempt to help her see the light?! See how wonderful things can turn out even though the road may be very rough in the way? If you really cared about this unborn child, you'd be doing all you could to express to this woman how she MAY BE SAVED BY THIS EXPERIENCE RATHER THAT RUINED BY IT! Your response would drive and already unnerved person into further silence and, in all likelihood, cause them to seek a quick fix to end the immediate pain...a natural human instinct, especially when faced with the unknown at the end of already upsetting experience.

A decent number of women experience PTSD as a result of their experiences during pregnancy or birth. Many women fall into what becomes a lifetime battle with depression. Woman may have any number of extreme conditions resulting from pregnancy and birth that will stay with them and change their lives forever. I REPEAT, NOT EVERYONE IS AS LUCKY AS YOU ARE!!! WAKE-UP!!!

I have found so much information through pregnancy reused chat rooms that helped me on my journey in ways I never would have imagined!!! THESE FORUMS ARE A GIFT!!! Thunk if all the experiences women now share that help them help thenselves and their children! WE NOW HAVE THE ABILITY TO STARE OUR EXPERIENCES WITH WOMEN THE WORLD OVER...WHICH ONLY SERVES TO MORE QUICKLY ADVANCE PROGRESS ON ALL FRONTS OF FERTILITY, PEDIATRICS, ETC. ....WHY DO KR SAY ANYTHING THAT COULD HINDER THAT?!?!

If anyone fears putting up a single post because they feared they would not find help but rather absurdly abusuve levels of scathing judgement, we may depriving not only that person, but the thousands of people that post might reach as well. And the conversation that ensues from it months or even years later as more people happen upon the post and add their experiences and comments.

SO ASK YOUSELF: IS YOUR COMMENT HELPING ANYBODY? CAN YOUR COMMENT SERVE ANY OTHER PURPOSE BEYOND FULFILLING YOUR NEEDS...WHATEVER THEY ARE? WOULD YOU EVER MAKE THAT COMMENT IN PERSON? WITHOUT THE ANONYMITY AND PROTECTION OF YOUR WEB BROWSER?! If the answer is no, DO NOT POST A COMMENT.

If you cannot add constructively to a conversation and genuinely attempt to help with or fulfill the purpose and needs of the original poster, the only reason you're commenting is for YOUR needs. I cannot imagine any HEALTHY need that could possibly be fulfilled by your comments...no completely secure and happy perso would need to post something like that.

If you ever write something like the comments of "kendra uselto", STOP BEFORE POST...and maybe use the time to examine your own life instead.

Vatoni - posted on 06/16/2014

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At one point i felt the same way .. i was 17 in high school and pregnant with twins. I never wanted children ever !!!!!!!!!!! i never took my prenatals... Rarely ate .. but they were born 4 pounds and both healthy .. now that they are here i regret every negative thoughyt or action . You will be ok. Ill pray for you hun. Currently 5 weeks and this time im super excited

Charity - posted on 04/18/2014

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I don't mean to intrude or be nosy especially if you don't feel like sharing, but I'm curious if you've found out if you're having a boy or girl yet? Hope things are going well.

Alice - posted on 03/30/2014

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Thank you everyone again, Yes Charity things are looking up. I talked to a doctor and a therapist and they are helping me through this. However I must say the biggest change is I realized I dont hate the baby. Im not happy about the timing but I dont hate it. With the help of my therapist Ive come to realize Ive been ridiculed my entire pregnancy. Mocked because I never wanted to have children and now im pregnant. So all I hear is "I told you so" or "I thought you didnt want kids" and then everyone but me has a good laugh about our little accident. Told Im doing everything wrong and need to stop doing this and stop doing that and I need to do this and do that when in reality my doctor tells me im doing everything perfect and me and baby are healthy as a horse. I do love my baby. I just blamed him/her for everyone else's actions and snarky remarks. What helped the most was I passed out and the ultrasound they did showed some amazing things. (husband took me to hospital and I came too) It no longer looked like a blob but an actual baby having a grand old time kicking and punching and rolling around. Jumping and squatting. We counted 10 fingers and toes and at that very second my entire mind changed and I accepted it wasnt me. It was other people so damn mean about the whole situation I wanted it gone so I didnt have to be the butt of everyones jokes. Thank you everyone for the helpful remarks. And to those who felt the need to attack please think before you type next time. And please read what the person has typed. I wrote both times that I knew this wasn't right or healthy. You dont have to add fuel to the fire. If you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all. This is a delicate time for any woman. I mean Iiterally cried during an action movie the other day. So please, be nice, be thoughtful, be helpful. But dont be mean or blame her. Not everyone is born with the "mom" gene. Some it takes a little while to feel that same love you felt instantly. I was one of those. I love my baby just as much as you love yours. It just took me a little longer to realize it.

Dove - posted on 03/15/2014

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You don't know what to do? You've been told to seek medical and psychological help... Have you done that? if not... call your doctor as soon as humanly possible and go and tell him/her everything and get the help you NEED. I understand depression and not wanting to do anything... very well, but you NEED to get help. Forget about talking to your family cuz they obviously don't get it, but talk to your doctor now. Please.

Lurline - posted on 03/15/2014

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I don't think she is here for hate I think it's help . Look into adoption. There's no need in thinking that way towards an innocent child when there are people like me who can't have babies and would do anything just to be in that uncomfortable position you've found yourself in..

M - posted on 03/14/2014

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Hi Alice
You feel this way now and that is the fact. But do not allow your actions to be led by your feelings, which will change. Have the baby and consider adopting him/her to a family that will love him/her. Studies have shown that abortion has many detrimental effects on the mum later down the road, including mental health issues. The studies are not widely publicised though. I have a few university degrees, latest one being psychology. You need to get medical help and not take drastic action which could adversely affect you later, such as abortion. I considered aborting one of my children but I didn't and am grateful for that decision. Hormones are very powerful. Go have a blood test, thyroid test, and then see a psychologist or counsellor.
You are not alone. Feelings will pass but in the meantime get help.

Catherine - posted on 03/14/2014

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Kendra, mental health is very serious and a lot mothers have issues when they get pregnant and hormones are messed up. You had your experience now let her have hers. Its not the same for everyone. You have no idea what this poor woman is going through at least she had the courage to ask for some help.

Kendra - posted on 03/13/2014

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I am 20 yrs old and have been married 2yrs April 21st..i just had twin boys 4 months ago and they were born at 31 wks..they barely made it..i could not imagine someone hating. Their own baby..i would have died right along with mine if somethin would have happened and they wouldntv pulled thru..i wasnt even supposed to be able to have babies and God worked a miracle for me and my husband..for me to hear someone say they hate such a precious gift is unbelievable..women pay thousands of dollars for fertility treatments all the time to have what u have and are still not able to..i am sorry to be so blunt but u should want to hide in a hole because u should be completely ashamed of urself

Constance - posted on 03/13/2014

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Not every woman is meant to be a parent. The fact that you do not want a child okay. The only problem you have to deal with is the current pregnancy. Remind yourself, it has a finish line. It will be complete soon. Once you do you the child, your body is your again and you have your whole life to get back in shape, continue working your choose of jobs, etc... as far as the child goes, you do not need to keep it. But because the baby is innocent, make plans to get "rid" of it the correct, responsible, legal and healthiest way. There are options like adoption, your husband can take custody, family can as well, there a places you can take the baby to be placed in safe, loving homes. Take it one day, sometimes one moment at a time and before you realize it, the pregnancy is in its final stage. Not every woman is washed over by love for their child the moment they are born. It doesn't make you a bad person. I do wish some parents who have child knew they didn't want child. They are the ones in denial. BUT MAKE YOUR PLANS AND DECISIONS WITH THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. NEVER HARM. THERE ARE TOO MANY OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO PLACE UNWANTED CHILDREN!!!!

[deleted account]

I have just read this and have broken down in tears. I have wanted children for years now but I am unable to have children so this has really broken my heart to know there are people out there who can have children but don't want them. I will give my heart and love to any child.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/13/2014

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~MoD WaRnInG~

Please refrain from personal attacks. I have already deleted a post. If this continues this thread will be locked.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Rae Lynn - posted on 03/12/2014

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Apparently this happened fo a reason, But it's an innocent child and abortion is never the answer it's Lent and think of the suffering Jesus went through, if do not wish to keep your little blessing Please find some one who cannot bear children give them a miracle and you will be blessed ten fold. I am not a Holy Roller but I will pray for you.

Liana - posted on 03/12/2014

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I will be praying for you & your innocent baby that GOD has blessed you with. They're are many women who have always wanted children & are unable to conceive, I wish you we're thankful. IM truly sorry you don't have love for your baby angel, your missing out on the most unconditional love anyone could ever feel. Please seek help.

Alice - posted on 03/12/2014

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Thank you for all the replies. First let me say we DID use two methods of birth control. Ive discovered I'm mot angry at the actual child. Its innocent, I do however hate that its mine. Already I can't do the things I normally can. I have what most consider a very dangerous job. Its very labor intensive and demanding.

My marriage with my husband has already felt the pressure and I'm not sure what will happen. Yes I do blame him. I wanted an abortion and he talked me out of it. I do appreciate all the replies amd some I Will try to reply to personally. The mpst recent changes I've had is what I guess is depression. I cry all the time and want to go hide in a hole and if I could stay in bed all day i would. Before I was pregnant ues I had my stress load but I was happy and bubbly. Ready to take on the world with a smile on my face. Ive tried talking to my mom, sister, husband, and girl friends. They all tell me when I hold that little baby for the first time my whole out look will change. I'm so sick of hearing this. They take this as a joke and tell me I'm fill of it. Ive tried picturing myself after delivery. And I'm not happy. I try to picture myself as hapoy and how it will go and this knstant flood of love....but I can't. I see myself disgusted and willing to give it to the first person qho wants it. I'm more picky about where I place a dog. YES I do actually KNOW these feelings are not normal. I know I'm messed up in the head. I've never been this way. Idk what to do or how handle it.

Danicia - posted on 03/10/2014

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I felt that way for the first 5 months of this pregnancy. we had agreed that someday we would give our daughter a sibling but I wasn't ready for it when it happened- I was thinking of waiting 4-6 years between babies but ended up pregnant when DD was 20months old. I was furious with husband b/c he knew that I wasn't ready for it yet still went ahead and casually avoided the safety measures we had been taking. I wanted my baby to die. I was angry at the baby, at my husband, at everything b/c I wasn't ready for another child and I didn't want to be forced to revert back to caring for a newborn after gaining some independence with my daughter growing up. I was ashamed of my pregnancy. before I got pregnant I had lost 95% of my baby weight from DD and was just starting to feel "normal" again and good about myself. I have had a hard time accepting this pregnancy and have also had the thought that this isn't a miracle but a burden.
after lots of soul searching, I have came to the conclusion that I was angry b/c it wasn't on my time schedule. this is our surprise baby and I wasn't ready to be surprised. yes kids are a lot of hard work and it feels like you sacrifice everything for them but they give back something you can't get anywhere else. I would recommend counseling/therapy before doing anything sudden. IDK if this is the case, but i'm curious if you may be having some prenatal depression b/c of the circumstances/thought processes within your pregnancy. I hope you seek the help you need before making any big decisions and wish you the best. remember these feelings/thoughts are a temporary state of being, there's a better day around the corner and you'll get there. *hugs!*

Emily - posted on 03/10/2014

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I understand what you are going through, as another mother who was very close to me went through something very similar. I think that once you have the baby, your feelings may change drastically. What you are feeling could be the hormones from the pregnancy, or even the fact that a drastic change has pushed it's way into your life. I think that you should take some time to think about this situation, and keep reminding yourself that there are other alternatives if you still feel the same way once your child is born. Adoption for an example, would be a good alternative. The fact that you are aware that you are feeling this way is a good sign that you are a reasonable person and that you understand the difference between right and wrong. Don't let this child grow up knowing it's mother hates it. And don't let it live a life where you may hurt it because what is happening to you emotionally. Please consider adoption. I do not feel like you are a bad person, and I really respect the fact that you are willing to admit your feelings about this. This is the first step to taking some positive actions that will benefit both you and the child inside of you. If you must, think of yourself as doing a good thing by taking care of the child inside of you so that another family may enjoy the feeling of having a baby. I wish you the best of luck, I have confidence you will make the right decisions.

Catherine - posted on 03/10/2014

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You know change is never easy. When I was pregnant with my first child I wasnt very happy either. I thought I just want things back to the way they were. Its not easy. But let me give you some reassurance that things will be okay. They might not be what you are used to but believe me it will be better. Its not that you hate the baby inside. You hate the whole situation you are in. Please go to see a doctor and share your feelings and they will help you get some help with your feelings especially now your hormones are all over the place. Take some time to relax your body and mind and Please please see a doctor asap. God bless.

Nicole - posted on 03/09/2014

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I must say I'm not bashing you but this is the most terrible thing I have ever read in my life! I would give anything to have a happy heathly baby that I could bring home from the hospital! We just lost our baby girl last week! It was and it the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life! I would give anything just to be able to hold her in my arms again! Our little girl was the greatest blessing our hearts has ever known! I will pray for you and that you recieve peace through out your pregnancy! Your baby never asked to be conceived or brought in to this world! That was a decision you and your husband both made! There was all kinds of birth control or contraceptives that could have been used! Please continue with your faith in God and PRAY! He can and will help you! Only you can choose to be a great mommy to this baby or choose to give it up for adoption that would allow a family that cannot have children to have joy in their lives! I will pray for you and for peace and comfort to overcome your heart and mind! KEEP UP YOUR FAITH IN GOD!

Kate - posted on 03/08/2014

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you need support. Your emotions are bleeding through the words that you type. It is the pregnancy itself that is making you think so negatively. find support. insist to your husband that he needs to do more. and yes, seek counceling

Sarah - posted on 03/08/2014

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Yes. I also suggest go and have a medical check up. Physiological changes such as iron levels thyroid hormones etc. can play a big part in the way you think and feel.

Jane - posted on 03/08/2014

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I hope and pray your baby does not feel that rejection . It's a precious life give the baby up for adoption if you cannot raise it . Don't Blame your husband either . You really need some psychological help with those disturbing thoughts .. It's not healthy , god be with your baby . Hope your husband opens his eyes and sees you are not well and takes some precaution steps so that you don't end up doing something you regret . I really feel sorry for you cause to me babies are blessings I'm pregnant due in 7 days I'm single and was told I could not have kids . The father wanted me to give the baby up for adoption but there was no way on hell I would . Im just saying it's a precious life your mum chose to have you don't you think this baby should have a choice to be born and if so given to a loving home .. Just think about it peace and love to you

Gena - posted on 03/07/2014

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I agree with counseling,them giving your child either to your husband or up for adoption. I just wanted to let you know..You wrote Babies gross me out and I dont see them as miracles... You were once also a baby and a miracle.Get the help you need to try make the best out of this situation.And try to stop hating your husband for it.

Charity - posted on 03/07/2014

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Alice, First let me start by saying that you need to hang in there. One year ago at this time I felt sort of similar. I was 24 and found out I was pregnant and I am married to a wonderful husband, but I wasn't happy at all. In fact I was devastated because I didn't know if I could be a good mom or if I could even love this new baby that I was pregnant with. I was mad at myself and my husband for getting me pregnant and I felt resentful of the new responsibilities of carrying a child, giving birth and being a mom. I was so shocked that I was pregnant. Also, I was all signed up to finish my bachelor's degree in the fall of last year.
I understand what you're going through to some extent. I would never consider and abortion, so that wasn't even on the table and adoption wasn't an option either in my mind. I cried and cried hysterically from fear of all the responsibility and changes in my life. I felt like I couldn't eat a bite. You should try to find someone you can talk to like your Mom or a sister. I talked to my mom though out my pregnancy and gradually became really excited around 4 months. I also prayed a whole lot while crying my eyes out like a big baby alone in my room. This last November, I gave birth to my daughter and it took a while for the attachment to grow, but it has and I'm very happy. Try breast feeding when your baby is born and try praying everyday and asking God to help you be a good and loving mom. That worked for me to help ease the stress of the new changes in my life. You can do this and if in the end you feel that you can't, considering adoption is not a sign of weakness because you're trying to still give your child the best in life.
Also, I suggest going to all your prenatal appointments and taking your prenatal vitamin. One thing I did as well was to read novels or talk to girl friends to take your mind off of the stressful worries. Also remember that you don't have to be a perfect mom to be a good mom.
Some books you can read are what to expect when you're expecting. There's also a good website called baby center which offers support for pregnant women feeling depressed, hopeless or anxious. You can send me a message if you need to talk about your feelings or I'd suggest like I said, talking to a sister or your mom and also talking to your husband of course. But yes feel free to email me if you are feeling depressed or scared of your new responsibility.

Alice - posted on 03/07/2014

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Yhe doesn't need this on him? I'm the sole provider...now pregnant because he couldn't do what I asked him to and he doesn't need this stress. Thays right bwcause I havnt been guilted into having this thing. My body forced to now buold a person amd stay up with all the demands of my life amd my job. I promise you its not desk job.....but HE doesn't need this? He can't provide yet nome of this is his fault?? That's roght...its always all on her roght?

Seriously I hopw hos dock rots off. Thenhe won't ever have to "deal" with this wver again.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/07/2014

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Have you considered adoption? Does your husband want this child?

[momoftwo] - posted on 03/07/2014

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Whatever you do don't hurt the baby. You'll wind up in jail for one. I imagine your husband will gladly leave you and take the child. IF the father would not want the child as well I would definitely suggest adoption because that way you make a family happy that possibly aren't able to have children, the child would have a good life and you would have your own life back to enjoy as well.
As it stands like the other posters said counciling is a must at this point.
Also, for the love of god don't blame it on your husband. He doesn't need that put all on him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/07/2014

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Counseling is a MUST. Your feelings could be stemming from the prior miscarriage, or from another point of stress in your marriage (in addition to the pregnancy). But, homicidal thoughts are not good, for you, mentally, or for any possible outcome.

If, through counseling, you cannot bring yourself to accept this child, then you will either need to divorce, surrender the child to your husband, and voluntarily give up any and all rights to it, or get your husband to agree to an adoption scenario.

By the way, no one said you were an idiot, but you're blaming this all on him, and taking no responsibility for your participation in the act of fornication. I understand that there is no 100% form of birth control, but there IS a very good prevention ratio, especially when using a double up method of (for example) pills & barrier method.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Alice - posted on 03/07/2014

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You think I'm an idiot? You think I don't know that it takes two? By the way they won't tie a 23 year old tubes. I used precautionary measures and this still happeed. So nefore you go making assumptions why don't you get all the facts. Nt to mwntuon I had a catastrophic miscarriage 3 years ago and so much damage was done that 3 doctors told me I'd never have kds.

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2014

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This is not your husband's fault. If you felt this way about children YOU should have taken responsibility for it (i.e. had your tubes tied). You should either consider abortion or adopting the child out. Alternatively, if your husband wants the child, you need to get out of his life.

I would definitely recommend counselling, because your feelings are not normal.

Wenella - posted on 03/06/2014

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You obviously made it clear you don't and never did want children. You blame your husband saying why did he do this to you but need I remind you it takes two and unless he forced you into the situation you must accept part of the responsibility for not using protection or being careful enough to track your ovulation. If you believe in God at all you need to pray. I feel sorry that you hate your child when there are women who'd die to trade places with you. I will also say a prayer for you as you are clearly in a dark place. I wish I could go back and do it again I love the idea so much and you want to terminate your pregnancy. The child didn't ask to be here and probably wouldn't if it knew you hated it. I really feel sorry for you. Don't do anything you'll regret.

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