I hate the saying "I come home to you though"

Lucy - posted on 02/29/2016 ( 14 moms have responded )

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So this is the second time I have found screenshots of naked girls in my husbands phone the pictures were taken off the back pages. They are escorts and strippers. Their numbers are there. He says he would never cheat, but he's been lying and hiding this stuff so I don't really trust him. He wants to go to his co workers friend bachelor party. He doesn't know the guy but wants to get these girls he picked out to go... I don't like the idea of him going, or going to strip clubs! Unless I'm going with him. He says he can look and do what he wants and he won't cheat that I should be happy that he's coming home to me. Okay fine. But I have tons of friends that are strippers and are always trying to get me to do it or do ammature night. I used to go go dancing for raves and make really good money. Now my husband is really against that, but I kinda miss that lifestyle. Not the party life but by being sexy and wanted. If my husband gets to go out and watch other naked girls and order these women for some random guy and be in that inviroment then why can't I do ammature night? He would divorce me on the spot if I did. I do not like watching naked guys or doing the male strip club thing. That's gross to me and not my thing. If my husband gets arrosed by other women and watch them. Then why can't I get aroused by guys watching me and giving me compliments. They can't touch me, I'm coming home to him? He said if I did that he would divorce me. But he wants to go to strip clubs and bachelor parties. I think we are at that marriage point we are spending too much time together and the honey moon stage is over. Btw I'm 22 and he's 30 and this is his second marriage. I really hate when he says well I'm coming home to you. Even though he's horny and wanting to have sex but probably fantasizing about the girls he just watched on stage...

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Sarah - posted on 02/29/2016

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I agree, I did not see your other post but you are obviously not his priority. My marriage is not perfect but I never feel like I need to check my husband's phone or forbid him from doing something.
If you really would find going back to dancing would meet a need in your life, then do it. But don't do it to spite him or to even the score. I personally would not find that an enjoyable activity, but if it helps you feel empowered do it.

Ellen - posted on 03/01/2016

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Lucy, I understand how badly you "want" the reality to be different than what it is. You must know in your heart that its not right, what he's doing, or you wouldn't be searching so hard for an answer that tells you "its ok." Its not OK if he refuses to respect you and cease the bad behaviors. There is no excuse for it, especially after you have expressed how you feel.

You have to decide if you on are worth it, or not.How can you expect him to respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to take a stand and set a firm boundary. This is hard, I know. But, its necessary. Be strong. Don't be blind.

Raye - posted on 02/29/2016

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You're not happy, he won't change, so either accept it and try to make the most of it, or fucking leave.

Jodi - posted on 02/29/2016

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Well, if he's not willing to work on the relationship, then its' time to reconsider the situation. Sorry, but if he really respected you and wanted to be serious about the relationship, he'd be willing to work with you.

14 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 03/02/2016

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Linda: You are more than welcome to start your own post. It's not the best to take over someone else's with your own questions.

Mygrain59 - posted on 03/02/2016

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I never thought old be in this position. I feel like not dealing with it and just ignoring it. I know what to do and I could always move to Florida with my parents but man this is like the hardest thing I've had to deal with

Lucy - posted on 03/02/2016

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Wtf?? I thought my relationship was bad! Hunny you have to leave him, put a restraining order against him. You should never have to put up with that! Any man that hurts his wife is a coward and he doesn't deserve you! There are plenty of men out there, always someone who is better. I'm not saying the grass is always greener on the other side but it is if you are with a man who cheats and beats you! Please leave! I know you don't know me or should take advice from me but I'm sure every women and every person in your family would tell you the same thing!

Mygrain59 - posted on 03/02/2016

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I don't have kids but really really need to vent and talk to someone. I've been married for 6 ,on the but with my hubby for 10 years. I'm 33 , attractive (not trying to sound arrogant) , fit and yet he still feels the need to watch a lot of porn and search sites like Ashley Madison for curvy women. I've caught him too many times to count one even after we were married . We got married on a Saturday, by Monday he was on Facebook sending naked and dick pics to some girl saying he wanted to do nasty things to her. Truth is she knew he was married and his response to that was " well she was with me for ten years I felt I owed her that atleast to marry her" when I confront him he tells me there's the door. He never apologizes and I never leave feeling things r ok. He's just going to keep doing it. I flipping hate myself. He makes me feel fat, ugly and pathetic. He actually did sleep with someone once. I got a lovely text which I saved from that women . She had the nerve to tell me they were in love . When I asked him about he said yes and she. I said pick me or her he said he would stop but continued to keep her as a friend on Facebook. Facebook is the devil. I hate it I hate him. Every time he is on his phone I was to scream. I setup a voice recorder and sure enough I caught him listening to porn and text to talk his advertise,net . Most likely craigslist or something. Him looking for a girl to screw . In a city he has no business being in. And it was today. I called off work just to see if he would get mad I ruined his plans. We have se. E wry day. No exaggeration here. I don't know what to do . Or ,subs I do but don't want to hear it. How much is enough? Could really use some pats on the back. Can't tell my family because that would just be awkward invade things do work out. I don't ha e many friends and the ones I do have know him too. Depressed and feeling low. Thanks for listening also I saved all texts, pics of his Facebook convos with his botches. I just want him to say dirty things to me and send me dick pics. I don't get it. We don't even have kids! Thank god tho. Don't think it would be fair to the babies to live in this toxic environment. If I say anything he explodes in. Borderline paycho, I tried leaving when I brought up the recording I heard on. Monday 3/1/16 and he pushed me, tried chocking me and wouldn't let me leave . He threatened to kill me. And so really? Like wtf did I do? He's the one that is cheating on me,

Mygrain59 - posted on 03/02/2016

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I don't have kids but really really need to vent and talk to someone. I've been married for 6 ,on the but with my hubby for 10 years. I'm 33 , attractive (not trying to sound arrogant) , fit and yet he still feels the need to watch a lot of porn and search sites like Ashley Madison for curvy women. I've caught him too many times to count one even after we were married . We got married on a Saturday, by Monday he was on Facebook sending naked and dick pics to some girl saying he wanted to do nasty things to her. Truth is she knew he was married and his response to that was " well she was with me for ten years I felt I owed her that atleast to marry her" when I confront him he tells me there's the door. He never apologizes and I never leave feeling things r ok. He's just going to keep doing it. I flipping hate myself. He makes me feel fat, ugly and pathetic. He actually did sleep with someone once. I got a lovely text which I saved from that women . She had the nerve to tell me they were in love . When I asked him about he said yes and she. I said pick me or her he said he would stop but continued to keep her as a friend on Facebook. Facebook is the devil. I hate it I hate him. Every time he is on his phone I was to scream. I setup a voice recorder and sure enough I caught him listening to porn and text to talk his advertise,net . Most likely craigslist or something. Him looking for a girl to screw . In a city he has no business being in. And it was today. I called off work just to see if he would get mad I ruined his plans. We have se. E wry day. No exaggeration here. I don't know what to do . Or ,subs I do but don't want to hear it. How much is enough? Could really use some pats on the back. Can't tell my family because that would just be awkward invade things do work out. I don't ha e many friends and the ones I do have know him too. Depressed and feeling low. Thanks for listening also I saved all texts, pics of his Facebook convos with his botches. I just want him to say dirty things to me and send me dick pics. I don't get it. We don't even have kids! Thank god tho. Don't think it would be fair to the babies to live in this toxic environment. If I say anything he explodes in. Borderline paycho, I tried leaving when I brought up the recording I heard on. Monday 3/1/16 and he pushed me, tried chocking me and wouldn't let me leave . He threatened to kill me. And so really? Like wtf did I do? He's the one that is cheating on me,

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/29/2016

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You've posted more than once about this lack of trust between you, and each time you're told that counseling is it. If he won't go, you have your answer.

Posting it again isn't going to change the popular opinion about the subject, either.

Take the steps that you need to to make sure that any children of this relationship are protected by custody and support orders, and file for divorce.

Ev - posted on 02/29/2016

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I was one of the ones that agreed that you needed counseling or other sort of help. This post is basically a repeat of the other only in the fact he is still doing this same things but for another time. IF it really bothers you, then do something about it. File for divorce, Leave him, something if you can not get him to go get help.

Lucy - posted on 02/29/2016

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Ya I'm all for counseling but he's not..ive gone to cousling on my own. I've taken a relationship class. He says he doesn't want to go or do that.

Jodi - posted on 02/29/2016

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Seriously, your other post is full of women advising you to get counselling as a couple. Your relationship is full of lack of trust. This is not a relationship that will survive on its own.

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