I have 2 kids in a previous relationship they hardly see there other familys and wen I make contact and allow them to see the kids all I get is bad mouth as a mother and lots of lies about me what is a good way to deal with this without it effecting my kids?
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Sueanne - posted on 01/15/2012
Ty Erika I always tell myself I am the bigger better person and ignore most of it but when dose it end will it ever end my girl is 12 now so I have been called labeled all sorts and I'm tired of it now I have legal custardy of her and I so wish I could keep her from them but it hurts me to see her hurt I know she understands her father and I will never see eye to eye but my problem with them is that they have never helped me out with her in anyway shape or form because they don't want to help me do they not understand that they punish her not me I never bad moth her family because if I did that I know it would hurt her more than them but they think its ok to rubbish me in front of her I know they love her but have a very funny way of showing it now all I can do is let go and let my kids fined out for themselves what there other family are really like but at the same time I don't want them getting hurt because then I blame myself for allowing it to happen at the same time don't want them hating me it's such a hard life they have a loving stepdad who has raised them frm baby's and wish they would sign there rights aways I just want to be able to move on and be happy and not have my kids tell me mummy my dad said your a? Like you to I think they are sperm donors to not fathers it takes a real man to help raise a baby and be there for kids no matter wat thanks for listening to me it good to see I not the only parent that has to put up with this thanks heaps xxx
Erika - posted on 01/15/2012
my first son is from another relationship and i have the same issues.. the "sperm donor " and i dont get along at all! as for his family, the more i allowed them visits with him, the more they came aorund, i know they may not agree with me at times or may have things to say about me, but they also know i hold the power to whether they see him or not and i think that helps them keep their lips sealed, as bad as that sounds. i dont keep him from them tho, i just make it aware i wont tolerate it. its all talk, and if it really makes them that much happier to talk, let em. it only hurts them and the relationship with the child, not you.
Jennifer - posted on 01/19/2012
That is really tough. I'm sorry they are being so difficult because you are really being a great parent by letting them see your children when your don't have to. The question is really, is it effecting your kids? It you think it is harmful to them then you could limit or stop any visit with them. But if it really is about you having to just continue to rise above them being nasty then you still should allow them to see their other family. So do you think it is harming the children in some way? Are they stressed from visits? Does is affect your relationship with them? That's what you can think about and then see what you want to do.
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