I have 4 kids i live with the father of one of my kids.. The other three have another father and there grandparents come and pick them up? The father is not responsible at all... His in drugs often... Doesnt help his kids in anything ..grandma helps them but not alot and not always... Im going to do a birthday party for my daughter whose father is living with me and now there mad because i havent done to my other kids and they are saying why her and that i have to do it to the four of them but my point of view is that this person is not the one who should be responsible for the kids of another guy that is able to work and support his kids but he just wont... Even though my bf is supporting them in everythin clothes,shoes,food,school supplies evrything that a kid needs but i think is selfish that theyre trying to make him do even more ... Can somebody give me some advice if im thinking wrong or what please!!

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Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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I can't see why cheating on him would make a difference to your custody or child support matters. I think you should seriously consider filing. Don't worry about the grandparent's threats. It is all smoke.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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Great idea Emma.



And don't worry about his parents getting mad about the child support. The children have a right to that payment. Child support and visitation do not go hand in hand. I don't know where you live, but paying child support doesn't mean he gets more rights. Paying child support is about both parents supporting the financial needs of the child. Unless there is a court order saying so, they can't force you to give more visitation. I suspect they are trying to intimidate you.

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Emma - posted on 10/15/2012

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Yes she told me that the best thing to do if file for child support and custody and by him not helping this past few years he wouldnt get custody and also he has a warrant for his arrest for not showing to court his been in jail like 5 times when i used to live with him and a few months ago.. For false checks and possession of crack cocaine.. I have no criminal record .. My only problem is that i cheated on him with the person im with now.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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Why would he kidnap them if he hasn't done so already? Right now, I'll be honest, if there isn't a court order, he could kidnap them now and there isn't a thing you could do about it. It wouldn't be considered kidnapping because he is the father. If, however, you have a court order, you have recourse. You have PROOF that you have physical custody. I think perhaps you should have a talk to a lawyer. Have you ever spoken to one?

Emma - posted on 10/15/2012

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Well i live in azusa california... And im actually scared that he could take my kids away from me at court... And he treathened one to kidnapped them also...the other thing his patents always let my kids see him even though his on drugs and i dont think thats good example for the children

Emma - posted on 10/15/2012

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Yes i understand so now we have decided on doing it for both girls at the same time and then for both boys at the same time also i hope thats a good idea.. Yes and im trying to file for custody .. I havent gotten child support ecause his parents get mad and start telling me that if i get child support he has more benefits with the kids and he gets them every weekend not evry other weekend

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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But you can't decide to have a large celebration for your youngest and not do the same for your other 3. It isn't fair to them. It comes across as favouritism. As Amy said, they don't understand why, and neither should they have to. It's not their fault their dad is a loser.



Have you got a child support order? If not, get one. If so, find out what is being done, or what can be done, about enforcing it.

Amy - posted on 10/15/2012

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I completely agree with Jodi, it's not fair to your other kids. Money is tight in my family right now and I would never do something for one of my kids if I couldn't do the same for the other. Your kids aren't going to see it as your daughter having a different father so therefore she gets a party. That's great that you have a boyfriend who is helping support kids that aren't his but it's really not fair if they all get equal treatment.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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Um, maybe your current partner is not responsible for your other 3 children, but you are, and if their father can't step up, you need to. I actually think it is wrong to have a birthday party for one child, and nothing for the others. You should be treating all the children the same. Don't use their father as an excuse. he sounds like a loser, and it sounds like he always will be. How is it fair that the kids miss out, and the little girl gets more just because their dad is a loser? Sorry, I have a blended family, with kids from past relationships and kids from this marriage, and each of them is treated the same. So yeah, I can see their point.



However, having said that, why couldn't you organise something and ask them for some assistance?



Does their father pay any child support?

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