i have a 1 month old bg,i also have a stepson who brings illness

Rebecca - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 44 moms have responded )

4

12

1

like i said i have a month old ...my husband has a 3 yr.old with another woman ...she has 5 chi ldren....she took the youngest to the doc and found out he had mercia(hope i spelled that right)...then took him to another doc that told her he didn't ...she rolled w/ that doc's opion. because he told her what she wanted to hear,,the youngest two have exzema.on top of it all..well my stepson came over being a carrier and passed it to my baby...nobody else comes to my home because my baby is sooo small ...we haven't even taken her to church yet....that other mother didn't even call to let me know about the incident in the first place on top of it she is in denial as to what is even wrong with her lil one ...how do i deal with a baby momma who is irresposible, without makin my hubby pick between his children? i'm scared the next thing could be rsv.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Joyce - posted on 01/29/2010

14

3

0

This thread is a bit more judgmental than it needed to be. This is a mother who is asking for help for her "family". I have 2 daughters who weren't born to me. The eldest is 42 years old and the younger will be 40 years in 2 weeks. Their mother gave birth to another child 11 years later. My family consists of 6 girls, Not just the 3 I gave birth to! These "girls" live and interact as sisters.

Who or what would I have been to deprive any one of them of that relationship?

The situation was not of their making. But, there was no way any involved adult (there were 4 of us from 3 familys) was going to be allowed to interfere or lessen their relationship with each other.

Adults are supposed to be teachers and caretakers. What are we saying to our children when less care or love is given to, or for a child they might possibly be able to call on in later life when we contentious "adults" are dead and gone?? They should be able to share familial memories, support and love each other despite not having been born to the same people.

If we were talking about an abused child who had no connection to a former relationship, how would that child's needs be addressed? Whichever caretaker who is able should be running to keep every child in this family healthy. Who cares who's legally responsible...aren't we all???

We don't need condemnation here, we need to step in en masse in support of this family. It may not be easy, it may even fail, but, we mothers with a little more experience in these situations should support another who's asking for help. I don't know all the answers, but, I do know our children need us to stand united, if nothing else, it'll show them what's possible.

Gwen - posted on 01/29/2010

1,345

7

220

P.S. It's not your place to deal with "baby momma", it's your husband's.

Gwen - posted on 01/29/2010

1,345

7

220

You NEVER make your husband choose between his children. And you NEVER treat one child as less than the other just because his mom has poor judgement. When I had stepkids, I treated them the same as my own. If you guys think he has something as dangerous (to himself and others) as MERSA, then his Dad needs to step in and get him to the doctor. Exzema shouldn't even be an issue. It's not contagious or harmful to the baby. If Mom's not gonna' do it, Instead of wasting time picking kids, you and/or your hubby should be getting your butts to the Dr. with the sick one before he dies!



This is the hard lesson about step-parenting. When you have a child together, you have to accept that the others were there first and are EQUALLY important. NO child should ever be treated any differently than the others. Being a step-mom is hard and complicated, but you have to set aside your personal opinions and take care of those kids to the best of your ability. If you play favorites, they will see it and resent you for it.

Sharon - posted on 01/29/2010

11,585

12

1315

That is the most ignorant thing I have seen posted here.



If you mean MRSA - Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus



this is an infection that settles in open wounds. So what open wounds does your infant have?



Mercia (pronounced /ˈmɜrsiə/, /ˈmɜrʃə/)[1] was one of the kingdoms of the Anglo-Saxon Heptarchy. It was centred on the valley of the River Trent and its tributaries in the region now known as the English Midlands. The name is a Latinisation of the Old English Mierce, meaning "border people".



It isn't this childs fault he caught some illness.



If your stepson has MRSA - he should be on mega antibiotics. And your daughter should be too. Actually - both should be seeing pediatric infection specialists.



Eczema - is not contagious and is a skin condition they are born with - not the mothers' fault or the childrens fault.



I find it hard to believe your stepson has mrsa and no one said anything. They can't go a day without antibiotics.

Sandy - posted on 01/30/2010

44

13

3

OK, just a couple of observations. First of all, the child's mother got not one, but two opinions. This does not scream irresponsible to me. Secondly, was he ok when he came to visit? As the other posters have mentioned, ecxema is not MRSA - not even close. If your stepson seems fine, then he likely doesn't have MRSA. However, if it were me, I would take him to the doctor asap, just to be sure. Third of all, what was she supposed to report to you? He got a clean bill of health from a doctor.

Have you considered the possibility that your daughter picked up MRSA in the hospital (some time after she was born)? As I understand it, MRSA can live for months on surfaces and the hospital is the most common place to pick it up. Did you bring anything home from the hospital? I know I did when my babies were born - I practically looted the place!

I understand that you're a new mom and worried about everything - we've all been there! However, this woman is going to be in your life (like it or not!) for a very long time and you may as well learn to deal with her with respect. I don't know what kind of relationship that you have with her, but she has 5 children - she could be a tremendous source of information and experience. Talk to your husband (although I would resist talking trash about the mother - take the high road!) and express your concern about your stepson. Just say something like "I'm really concerned about him since the baby has MRSA now and it can be really dangerous if not treated properly. Better safe than sorry." Rule it out and move on.

44 Comments

View replies by

Kyuubi - posted on 05/12/2016

6

0

0

I know your nerves are going haywire with the current possion you've been put in. This is my advice and option on this tricky matter. You are of course, worried about your new babies health, and thats 100% ok. But dont blame your 3yold ss. His sickness isnt his fault, it isnt his fault that he was put in your home, or that important info was not given. But your 3yold stepson has every right to his father sick or not, and you saying you dont want to make your husband choose between his own son is a rode you do not want to travel. So my suggestion is why dont you have your husband, take his son out of the house when hes brought over to have a private outing, just the 2 of them. Go to the movies , lunch, and simply give his son the 1 on 1 dad time that he needs. That way you can look after your new baby, but still understand that during this time of absence would be a good opportunity, to speak with his ex , freely without consequence to ask/explain how you feel about this situation. But the most important thing i can advise you on without doubt. Is that his 3yold has a right to his father, and stripping him of that will only do much worse to his mind , and his already bad health. It s not his fault, these decisions werent his doing. I hope everything works out for all of you.

Phyllis - posted on 02/09/2010

1

0

0

Amen.. She's asking for advice guys, now I know this is not the circle of moms i"ll be getting advice from.

Sharon - posted on 02/06/2010

8

14

1

i have been a step parent & i am also a mum of a child who has a step parent,things are never easy from either side so just do your best & remember to talk to each other. i agree that the bio mother should inform you if the step child has any kind of illness for the childs sake as well as for your sake. the father should talk to the bio mother as it is his responsibility not yours to deal with her. it is understandable that you have fears as we all do when we have a young baby,my grandad had MRSA when my son was born & i had to wait for the ok from his dr before i could visit him with my baby as small babies have not had a chance to build they're immune system up & so are more suseptable to any kind of infection. i would say talk to your husband about his ex in a calm manner & maybe talk to your dr about any other concerns you have,good luck & hope you can sort things out.

Lauren - posted on 02/05/2010

1

0

0

I can see where you are coming from..she should have let you guys know there was a potential risk of him having something out of curtesy and then you should seek further advise on behalf of all the children to confirm or deny and then control! Don't feel bad it's hard!

Susan - posted on 02/03/2010

35

11

2

I don't think a lot of these women are being mean, just discerning. That said, it sounds like you have valid fears and concerns over your stepson being sick and possibly passing it on to your newborn. If you are not on good terms with his ex, have him speak to her to get clarity on the boys situation. In the meantime keep your newborn at a distance and have your husband take your stepson to the doctor for further peace of mind. And please remember that this poor child is in the middle of all these adults and their differences and had no choice in the matter who his mother or father are and the state of everyone's affairs. Don't treat him differently. He didn't create this situation, he is just the innocent.

Julie - posted on 02/03/2010

2

7

0

I agree with Angie, a lot of you are being very mean. This woman is not caring any less for her step children, she is simply concerned for her infant

Esther - posted on 02/02/2010

1

20

0

Rebbeca, hope all is well in your household. hope you take your baby to the doctor if you think she is sick, it could be that she is just fine.New babies tend to have in their first months some like pinples, I call that getting ajusted to the outside world, try to wash all her clothes and the rest of the family with a detergent that does not have perfumes or dyes. all my kids have exema and started developing when they where todlers, sometimes exema is so bad that looks like yelloish oozinn pinples and can even smell bad and hurts like hell, try to give your step son quick baths and cover him with cetaphil. or just cleanse him with cetephil and a wet towel. if your step son has exema and is something that comes from his dad genes ( does he has alergies) it would be more likely that your baby develops that too, so just try the no perfumes ,no dyes an everything sould be ok. exema is really hard to control, there where years before a dermatologist found something that can help so,good luck!!

Beth - posted on 02/02/2010

2

0

0

It is your responsibility to act on behalf of the irresponsible parent. You are not asking your husband to treat one child more importantly than another, you are just being responsible for someone who isn't capable.

Rica - posted on 01/31/2010

38

12

0

Hey Rebecca I will be the first to say that you have a valid fear. Since this sounds to me like your first child. Despite what others are saying to you in this thread you have a right to question a mother who knowingly would allow a sick child to come around a new born. Although this is your stepson you too must try to make sure that he is OK as well. The mother of this child (although she don't have to) should include you in the discussions about his health. Eczema is just dry skin and can be treated with a thick body cream or lotion. Generally after the child bathes put the cream on and dress them. this way the moisture is sealed next to the skin. As for the Mersa this is something that the child should have been taken to the doctor for. If this is not the case you should take the child and hand the bill to the mother. If you think your child has it as a result of non-treatment the ex should cover your child's expenses as well. You must talk to your husband and let him know that since you do have a small child you must make sure that the child don't catch anything since her immune system is weak. He will understand this and All THREE of you parents need to sit down and talk to get a clear understanding of what needs to happen when a child is sick. That is your house too, I would never tell you to make your husband pick a child over the other, but the ex must also respect your house.

Domenica - posted on 01/30/2010

2

1

0

Talk with your husband and both take the kids to the doctors like this he can start the antibiotics. Dont treat him different because hes not yours because its not correct.

Ashley - posted on 01/30/2010

55

28

2

Just an idea for you -- are you or your husband familiar with the spoken child's doctor? You can call (you may not be able to but perhaps your husband and he could just say, okay tell it to my wife she's the mom in this house) and find out what was the overall determination for his illness; what you can do, what precautions you need to take, etc. Even if you find yourself doing this anytime after she admits he's ill/has been ill -- then there's no stress of "well she didn't say what it was" or missed out time with the spoken child. You skip out on the drama of anything (although it would be more fair for her to just openly admit it, it's a respect thing) YOU can find out for yourself, and rest more assured and not worry -- well is she lying, or is he really not contagious, etc. It could even benefit you, allow you to be at peace and calm your nerves --- knowing for yourself, and it coming from a professional. If he's in the doctor and ill often, it could get annoying constantly having to call and ask questions, but if it's just a once in a while thing, it couldn't be too bad.
Also, does your daughter's pediatrician have a 24hr nurse line? I know here, most all ped's HAVE to have one. You call, you get an operator, tell them your child's age, dob, and what your 'problem' is -- they then have a doctor call you back. It's usually within 10-20 minutes. It's better than having nothing, if you can't have contact with his doctor, and even with your little baby girl. If there's ever something that concerns you and you're just not sure about.
Also, Medicaid/Medicare/(any state aided insurance) has the same feature. It's very beneficial, and many people don't know about the offer. We just think okay, it's 10pm, the doctor's office is closed - gotta wait until morning. Or on weekends, gotta wait until Monday.

[deleted account]

I really would not say much to the other lady however this is your husband and just in general conversation you need to bring up any issues that you may have in a calm matter he is your husband and he should listen to what your concerns are yet do not ever to to the other woman (know from experience) just go through your man and he will have to deal with her yet you need to lay back and watch no matter how upset you become, just remember the kids is what matters and if I were you go get another opinion from a different dr get papers that show what they may have either way is safe for you and your childern I hope this helps my name is Cathy woodward if you need to get ahold of me on fb

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2010

3

0

0

Some of you people are real jerks for picking on this woman who has asked for advice! She never said she wanted her husband to choose between his kids. She said she wanted to avoid that happening. It's very possible that the other child's mother didn't care that her child was sick and sent him over to spend the weekend with a newborn! That's wrong! No one said it was the child's fault that he was sick. But, give me a break! What kind of a person sends a really sick child over to stay at a house where a newborn is. When I had a newborn baby a friend had a cold and she wouldn't come by to visit us because she didn't want to make the baby sick. That's common sense. Why are some of you so judgmental! Anyhow, speak to your husband and let him deal with the other mom. He should have taken the sick child to the doctor and then spoken to the biological mom about how she should have rescheduled the visit or at least let you all know that the child was so sick so that you could keep him and the baby apart from each other. It's not being mean to the other child. All you are doing is trying to protect the baby who is only 1 month old and is therefore very vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with that. When my second child was 28 days old she caught pneumonia from her older sister who was 3 at the time. The germs had no effect on the 3 year old but my baby became severely ill and could have died! So, I don't think there is anything wrong with taking some type of precautions so that your newborn doesn't come down with anything serious.

Heidi - posted on 01/30/2010

51

35

1

Should never blame a child because they are sick. Both parents should be responsible for medical care, even the two parents aren't together anymore.

Stephanie - posted on 01/30/2010

3

20

0

I would have to agree with the last post. It is not the childs fault that he is ill and should not feel any type of hostility. I would address this situation between yourself the father and the mother. There are many medical clinics that are open on Satudays and hospitals. If this mother is not medically caring for her child then maybe it is time for you all to step in.

Heidi - posted on 01/30/2010

51

35

1

That is a tough situation you are in. But the fact is that if you don't take your little one out of the house and expose them to different environments they will not be able to adapt. I took my son out about 5 days old and he has only had child hood colds and recently just had bronchitis, but he does go to daycare now. Children will get sick occassionaly so don't worry about it and have them adapt to your life.

Sylvia - posted on 01/30/2010

1

32

0

What a tough place to be. Hope that you are breastfeeding your month old. That will help protect baby from the worst of RSV. This is the season for it. My daughter's kids had it but the breastfeeding helped them so it was more like a cold.

Tierra - posted on 01/30/2010

6

10

0

being a step parent is hard. she is simply asking the best way to go about this situation WITHOUT making her husband choose. she never said she was trying to make her choose. all this negativity is not called for.

Jessica - posted on 01/30/2010

11

24

1

MRSA is a highly resistant bacterial infection, but I with proper precaution spread is rare. It mostly occurs in people with compromised immune systems and is spread by skin-to-skin contact. It is very rare and I would probably go with the opinion that it was not MRSA as well. There is a very simple test they can do to see if it is or is not. Also, eczema is not contagious. If the other mom's youngest has eczema, it should be treated, but you really don't have anything to worry about as far as spread. The mom may not be irresponsible as much as she is experienced enough not to worry until there is cause. If you are worried about MRSA, talk calmly about it with your husband. Tell him your concern. He has just as much right to take the baby to the doctor as his ex does. If MRSA is not an issue, then there is no issue. You need to remember that even though she is the ex, she is still a mom and she is going to be involved. Instead of assuming she is irresponsible, you need to know the facts. She has 5 babies, you have 1. There is a HUGE difference in opinion just because of that factor. A new mom is always worried about little things and that is good. That means you are taking your job seriously and I am so happy to hear that you are. You are a great mom! On the other hand, we more seasoned moms are different. We are no less caring than you are. We love our babies just as much, but we know we cannot fix what is not broken. Eczema is a non-contagious, chronic skin condition. It itches horribly and, especially little ones, will scratch it. The scratching compromises the skin and infection can occur. MRSA is so rare that unless you have hard evidence in terms of a test, you can't guess. I myself had a bout of eczema that was very inflamed and one of my doctors said he was concerned about MRSA. The test was negative though. I did have an infection, but it was NOT MRSA. Lastly, just talk to your hubby. He will understand your concern and he can deal with the ex. He should not have to pick between his babies though. They are all his babies and its not fair to tell him he has to choose. If the 3 year old needs to go to the doctor, then daddy can take him. If he is with you and he itches, sympathies with him. He is a baby too and you are, essentially, mama #2. Put a cool pack on his itchy arms to keep him from scratching. Give him oatmeal baths and make sure his skin is well hydrated. Just remember that your new at this. It might be better to just quietly talk to your hubby and let him and the ex deal with your concerns. You are in such a difficult situation and I know your worried about your new baby tiny. I wish you luck and peace and I hope everything works out for you. (((hugs)))

[deleted account]

good postings.
My mom contracted MRSA a few years ago because shes a nurse. We still hang with her and nobody else is sick. MRSA is oozing sores, excema is severe dry skin...which is it? MRSA is only contagious if you touch the ooze. Other wise treat your husbands kids with care and be nice to their mom.

Danielle - posted on 01/30/2010

9

11

0

I have a step mom in my life for my son with my ex husband... because he is not man enough to do what he needs to do. It is a pain and I would not wish it on anyone. Bottom line you and your husband are in charge of your household. And if any of the children are sick go to the doctors and get them help. If she does not want to face facts that is not on you. You have to do what is best for all the children and treat them all as your own.

Kelly - posted on 01/30/2010

6

23

0

Rebecca-
Please forget those first few posts. Some women/moms think they know it all.
I don't know anything about MRSA, but maybe you could look it up and understand it better. Same with Exzema.
I know it is tough to be a stepmom and to deal with the bio-mom...I've been there for 15 years now. My stepson is almost 19 now. I also have an 18 yr old son with another man...so I have been on the other side of it too. Hang in there. My advice...always take the "high road". Be the responsible, calm, better one. All these people giving you advice about letting your husband do the communicating....not sure I agree with. Only if it gets ugly or is too much stress on you. You are a family, with his son too, so you have as much say as anyone.
I wish you all the best of luck now and for your future!

Kate-
As long as they are married, legally she does have a right to take her stepson to the doctor. Of course, I would discuss it with the father first. I have been a stepmom, legally, for 10 years. Before and after my husband I were married, I have always been the one to take my stepson to the doctor...including when he was diagonosed with Diabetes.

Lucy - posted on 01/30/2010

591

33

23

Hi Rebecca, I've just re-read my previous post and realised it could come across a little harsh, so thought I'd write to apologise and clarify what I meant.

I stick by the gist of what I said, if you choose to marry and have children with a man that already has kids those kids are part and parcel of your family too, and should be treated exactly the same as your biological children. If you make your husband's children feel unwelcome in your home and interacting with their little sister, even if it is unintentional, it will cause real heart ache for all concerned.

I agree with many of the other mums who suggest taking you stepson to the doctor with your husband, so that you get the facts straight and he feels his welfare is of equal concern to you and his dad, not just his little sisters well being. I appreciate that you are just trying to protect your daughter, but your mummy instincts seem to have made you lose a little perspective and panic unnecessarily. As I said before eczema is neither life threatening or contagious, so that's one worry out of the way. MRSA is a serious infection that would make your step son very unwell, so if he has been happily visiting your house and carrying on pretty much as usual I very much doubt he has it, if I were you I would rest easy on that one. I also think you may have misjudged how difficult your step childrens' mum may be if you approach her reasonably about this issue. I may be missing something here, but from what you say she sounds pretty sensible, after all it was she who took your step son to the doctor in the first place and even went for a second opinion (though I agree it was an oversight that she didn't call you about it). I really think attempting to build a good relationship with her is key here, rather than assuming she is irresponsible and acting accordingly.

I hope this clears up what I was trying to say with my first post, and good luck!

[deleted account]

Whe she brings the kids to see there father ask her if there is anything that you should know . like taking meds , games that they have to go to or what ever you both need to get along so that you will stay married to him. you dont made a man choose when it comes to kids if they are from the old school you will be the one he doesnt choose. not to be rude but it does happen..cortiazne will help the exzema or 2% kenalogg. if you can get it . heat lamps too. when they are old enough. 5 min. at a seccion.that is what i had to do . there is exzema and dry exzema . I used the hot water treatment to . but i knew how hot i could stand . do not do this for kids you dont know what they can stand. in time let them do the hot water themselves just take a deap breath and breath . You need to try and be 1 step ahead . with alot of consideration.

Ashley - posted on 01/30/2010

55

28

2

love it Kim! My daughter went 4 days before we knew it's what she had. Her nipple looked as though it were a zit, turned a purple-ish color, and was a very very hard knot. We had to squeeze it and 'pop' it as though it were a zit. She had a cream we had to apply, and an oral anti-biotic that was basically 3 anti-biotics in one.
Was it, itself contagious? No. However, we had to take precautions with her touching it, and vigorously wash our hands if she did.
The doctor did tell my Grandma that she can be a carrier for it (she works in a nursing home), though it would not have been the case in this instance and was really unexplainable as to HOW she got it.
Rebecca, I also wanted to apologize to you. Many are saying so many comments are so rude and I hope that mine is not one of them that they mean. There is lack of communication, but it is just not your duty or responsibility to be the one to communicate with her regularly. She's your husband's ex, ya know? If you two do communicate otherwise -- then absolutely, she is in the wrong for not informing you as well.
I was not being a 'jerk' with the DCFS comment, but if she has custody, she could easily turn it around and say well my son's condition worsened and his daddy didn't do anything about it (EVEN if it is lies!) and the court will take her side. It's just a warning and a heads up because she seems like she may be a vindictive person! I hope you don't take my message the wrong way!!

Dena' - posted on 01/30/2010

25

70

2

My son had MRSA in his ears as an ear infection and unless your infant came in contact with some sort of drainage or touched the open sores they should be fine. You really need to step back and llok at your place. The 3 year old can not help what mom does and it looks like hes gonna need you so please dont blame him. Please dont make your husband choose because you may not be happy. They are both his babies.

Christin - posted on 01/30/2010

51

45

2

Wow! I have to agree with Joyce, Rose and Hayley. I am so sorry that some of the posts on here have been so hateful and mean to you Rebecca. As a first time mother we are alway on "high alert" when it comes to our child. It's okay, to feel scared about your new baby getting sick. Just try to handle the situation as nicely as you can. As some of the other women have mentioned, ask your husband to take the toddler to the doctor for a third opinion. Try your best to keep the baby in another area of the house if the toddler is ill when he visits. I know this is really hard to do, but it is something that you can at least try to do while he is visiting. Or perhaps you can attempt to forge a better relationship with the other mother and nicely ask her if she will inform you of him being ill prior to his visit to your home. Just take a deep breath, ignore the meanies on here and talk to your husband openly and honestly without passing judgement or making him feel like he has to choose. Ultimately, he loves all of his children and the main concern here is the health of all of his children. I am sure that he would agree with that and there are ways to discuss it so that he does not feel you are attacking him, his son or even his ex.

Perhaps you should just say, you know, I am so concerned about (step-son), perhaps we should take him to get a third opinion about his illness or infection. We wouldn't want him to get worse. Approaching it in this way will let your husband see that you are concerned about your step-son and not looking for ways to avoid having him in your home.

Best of luck to you Rebecca. I will say a prayer about your situation and your little ones health.

H.J - posted on 01/30/2010

279

32

14

Who made the mums on this forum god of all step mums?



Rebecca I am so sorry that these other mums have been so judgmental of you. Of course you would be scared having a one month old get this horrible illness. I can see that you don't want the baby's daddy to have to choose between his children. It is up to your hubby to say I'm not happy with the second opinion and get a third opinion to split the difference if there are two opposing opinions on a child's health then hubby is well within his rights to say to the bio mum that you need to get a third opinion.





Your hubby has the right to take him to seek a medical opinion and put him onto a medical treatment plan and if she doesn't follow through with it then you can have her sighted for neglect for not giving the child the medical treatment he needs. You have every right to voice your concerns when it comes to your babies medical well being especially at this young age. But voice them to hubby and make sure he voices them to the bio mum because it will always sound better coming from him because it will just make you sound bitter. Just talk to your hubby calmly. Don't issue ultimatums but make sure you stay calm when broaching the subject.



You are right that the bio mum should have let you know Rebecca because you should have had the opportunity to say I would prefer that the older child stay with the bio mum until they are well enough not to pass on any unnecessary bugs to our newborn..



My stepson's bio mother never let him come to our house if he had an illness she knew of, even though she was negligent in other areas I have to commend her on that!

Rose - posted on 01/30/2010

31

4

3

Joyce, you are a woman after my own heart! Rebecca posted on here asking for help, she has a new baby and she's frightened and uncertain. I'm horrified at the superior, judgemental replies she's received. I only hope those responsible have not scared her even more, shame on you for bullying a new mother who is only trying to do the best by her baby. I do agree, though, that it should be dad who deals with the older child and the mother. Rebecca has enough to do. I wish you the best, Rebecca.

Kate - posted on 01/29/2010

1

0

0

It really is the fathers responsibility to take the child to the doctor if there is a problem and he feels as though the other mother isn't properly taking care of their child together. Its not your responsibility, and legally you wouldn't even be able to take the child anyway. I know your mothering instinct is to protect your child, but its not the other childrens fault that they're sick, or have a skin condition. You wouldn't want someone to treat your child wrong or any different than another child, especially for things that are out of their control. Your baby will eventually get sick, possibly even from you....I'm sure you go out in public. A baby needs to eventually build up their immune system anyway. Have some compassion for the kids, and NEVER make him choose between children, because he might make a decision your not expecting or don't like and then it'll come back to bite you in the butt.

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2010

2

5

0

I had a baby with a man who had two others. i have one of my own. His oldest is 7 next is 4 my son is 3 and we have a 10 month old. My son never gets sick. His two always have snotty noses put their fingers in the mouth and his ex wife is always taking them to the doctor. I would never not let the other children come to our house (unless they were high contagest). In this matter if I were in your shoes I would speak to the father because he has just as much right to take the child to the doctor as the mother. It is just as much his obligation to find out what is going on with the child as the other! I would tell him to take the child to the doctor and this way he hears first hand what is going on with his child. Children carry all kinds of things. Never deny the child from coming over for he mostly loves to see his father but explain you would like if the step child is sick to stay out of the babies face! this is what I do keep them apart while one is sick. But it is ok for the small one to be in the same room ect. I do the same with both my own two children. Just don't let this other women's stupidity get between you both. If she will not take care of the child then he should! Go with him take the child to the doctor find out what is wrong with him take care of the child if his stupid mother is not! Take care hope all goes well.

Ashley - posted on 01/29/2010

55

28

2

MRSA is an infection, that requires very strong antibiotics and can cause death. It causes a child to be VERY VERY ill. If your husband is getting his child for visitations, then he has just as much right to take the child to the local hospital or doctor. It is part of his rights as the child's father.
Eczema is nothing more than severely dry skin, and actually very very common.
It is not her place to call YOU to tell you anything, but rather a communication between her & your husband.
RSV is mild compared to MRSA. MRSA is basically a staph infection. Sometimes it appears like a zit, oozes a yellow-ish puss.
IF DCFS were to find out that YOU or YOUR HUSBAND were aware of this child being so ill, they would question you as parents and possible temporarily take your rights away.

Next time you think something is wrong with a child, TAKE THEM IN! Whether it's yours, his, theirs, or just to 'be safe.'
We're not all perfect. Doctors aren't always right -- maybe he never did have it to begin with but only a mild virus? Or bacteria infection? Not infact a severe staph infection.

Angie - posted on 01/29/2010

108

64

10

wow...u guys are being a bit mean...acutally really mean...its her job as a mom to worry..duh

Iridescent - posted on 01/29/2010

4,519

272

1080

MRSA can also be simply colonized on open skin, but why were they even culturing? It's on ALL KINDS of things! You can get it from going to the grocery store. From getting your mail. It's literally everywhere now. It's dangerous when it goes into an open wound, and they treat it in most cases in the hospital with IV Vancomycin.

Lucy - posted on 01/29/2010

591

33

23

You can't catch eczemza, Rebecca, you are over reacting in a big way.

If you had two children who were biologically yours and one came down with a nasty illness what would you do? I bet you wouldn't send the ill child away from the house to stop him passing it on to your other child! If you continue to reject your husband's other children in this way you are setting yourself and your family up for a lot of problems later on. If I were your husband and was aware of your attitude to my kids I would be fuming.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms