I have a 15 yr-old teenage girl who is an asshole. Normal, I know...

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )




but man oh man, words of wisdom would be most appreciated. Because I cannot magically make her frontal lobe grow any faster, any tips on how I can make her realize that she needs to pick up her clothes wherever she decides to take her clothes off at when she's at home or that she needs to roll up her used feminine napkin, wrap w a tissue etc so that we don't mortify our guests when they use our bathroom.

I don this look of incredulousity 90% of the time she opens her mouth. I became a single mom in 2015 not by choice. Her dad picked up and left for another state with his wife. I am a career woman and have also miraculously been able to have an awesome relationship with a man for the past 2.5 yrs (he has no kids). But since 2015, the single mom status has definitely strained the relationship.

Any quick tips on what you do in order to not show any reaction when your teen says that one thing that just pisses you off, rolls her eyes because I remind her that she hasn't done the dishes yet, remind her that she needs to write thank you cards for the gifts she received etc. I'm reading article after blog after article and sometimes I just want to give up.


Oh, and, i started up yoga and meditation which helps greatly, but the benefit quickly fades so fast sometimes where she'll say or do something that just zaps all the good out of my body and bones. :(


Michelle - posted on 09/10/2016




You have to be consistent in letting her know what behaviours you won't tolerate.
I have a 15yo boy and he sometimes rolls the eyes, he gets told quick smart that the attitude needs to be left at the door in my house.
Yes, I still have to remind him to clean up his room, if it doesn't get done then he looses all technology for a day, if it's still not done the it's the whole weekend. He realizes that I pay the bills and can take away privileges anytime.
I have been doing this since he was a toddler though so it's not as if it's new. I was a single Mum during this time so that has nothing to do with disciplining your child.
I do 50/50 shared care and he is allowed to do whatever he wants at his Dad's so it's even harder when they come here. It takes a couple of days to get them used to my rules again.

Susan - posted on 09/13/2016




First of all, just know that "this too shall pass." Perhaps your daughter believes that she can get away without doing what you has by angering you. Perhaps this is a boundaries issue. There are some really good books on the subject of teens and boundaries that can be found in the library or amazon.com.

Hang in there. You are not alone.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/14/2016




wow, your comment about boundaries in relation to the asian american culture kind of threw me...from the outside it always seemed to me that those families were more strict, but like I said...that is the outsider's point of view.

either way, the other ladies have it right...hang in there and stay strong!

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2016




Yes, it is a boundaries issue and i'm reading up more in this area. It's funny, my siblings and I are chinese-american born in the US, speak mandarin etc but we've discussed this before. Boundaries, or rather lack thereof, is so common in the chinese culture.

Thank you both, Susan and Michelle. I'm at a loss at times and am happy to have found this forum :DD

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